I've never been very optimistic about the future but now more than ever everything is so dark. I'm 22, a university student who is for some reason behind people my own age. It feels like all I'm good for is being a student and I'm not even good at that. I've been really bad these days and just when I was starting to get better I found out I have an sti, like what is my life going to be after this I'm responsible for all my failures everything that has happened is bc I'm a fucking weak useless piece of shit.
But I cant kill myself it will break my families heart, I have a rule that no parent should bury their child but I dont know how long i can hold on. I see my mom putting her hope in me and it breaks my heart knowing that my existence will only bring her disappointment but so will my death.
I wish a freak accident would happen to me, or I get hit by a car or get stabbed by a robber but no fucjing luck.
Fuck everything I want it all to end
But I cant kill myself it will break my families heart, I have a rule that no parent should bury their child but I dont know how long i can hold on. I see my mom putting her hope in me and it breaks my heart knowing that my existence will only bring her disappointment but so will my death.
I wish a freak accident would happen to me, or I get hit by a car or get stabbed by a robber but no fucjing luck.
Fuck everything I want it all to end
