I may not be on much due to anhedonia.

[Final Escape]

I'm not sure how long anhedonia lasts after u give up longterm Adderall use but I'm noticing how hard it is to be motivated, interested, cognitive impairment lol! I'm unusually self conscious as well, more sensitive. This sucks :( but do I keep wanting to go through the roller coaster of ups and downs? No. Anyhue, :) that is all.

 

[JustAboutDone]

That really sucks :-(
I hope it gets better in time, I don't know if other people who've had it know how long it takes to get back to 'normal' ?

Let's keep this up as Your Update thread, like a sort of diary, if you can find any energy or motivation, post what you're doing and how you're feeling, if you fancy it? Xx

 

[Final Escape]

That really sucks :-(
I hope it gets better in time, I don't know if other people who've had it know how long it takes to get back to 'normal' ?

Let's keep this up as Your Update thread, like a sort of diary, if you can find any energy or motivation, post what you're doing and how you're feeling, if you fancy it? Xx

I feel helpless right now. Cravings, foggy, anxiety, negative think. I still feel like I have to ctb because I'm trapped in many ways. Things will only get worse because compounding unsolvable problems if I don't ctb. It's that situation where u ask yourself, how bad do i really want to live and especially if things have to get so much worse for a long long time before it ever got better.

 

[JustAboutDone]

That sounds really horrible :-( are you able to take anything to ease the symptoms? Does having a drink or smoking help at all? It's difficult to even contemplate anything in the future being better when you feel as bad as that x

 

[kkatt]

Some years back,our benevolent government decided that amphetamines are not addictive.
Bullshit! You've done a positive thing in quitting. Something really tough too.
So many long term Amphetamine use ends in the psych ward or a prison cell.
Look into new things that might interest you. Time really does fly if you can find a speck of enjoyment.

 

[Final Escape]

Some years back,our benevolent government decided that amphetamines are not addictive.
Bullshit! You've done a positive thing in quitting. Something really tough too.
So many long term Amphetamine use ends in the psych ward or a prison cell.
Look into new things that might interest you. Time really does fly if you can find a speck of enjoyment.

Right, the most dangerous thing I ever did was walk into a psychiatrist office looking for help with life problems. 30 mins later I walk out with a script for unbeknownst to me legal clean meth. Thanks so much lol! Let's make her think this drug will solve her problems, but down the road will only make things 1,000 times worse. Government is criminal. These perverse incentives would never occur in a free market environment, because everyone is held accountable for knowingly or unknowingly harming people. At least an illegal dealer u know u probably might get something dangerous from but the phsychiatrist poses as a doctor and we are taught to trust doctors. This is why it's so dangerous.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm feeling bit better, it was the morning time. Especially hard right now. I'm determined to not touch again. Always reminding myself how fucked up I get lol! Two weeks in I'm a basket case. Start to get paranoid, overly anxious, fatigued, more impatient, less empathic, basically kind of a monster lol!

 

[JustAboutDone]

Are you able to eat ok or has your appetite gone?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Well I would argue this is the place to be if anhedonia is your problem, lol. I didn't know Adderall was so nasty, it seems very widely-prescribed. Glad you're feeling a bit better already.

 

[Final Escape]

Well I would argue this is the place to be if anhedonia is your problem, lol. I didn't know Adderall was so nasty, it seems very widely-prescribed. Glad you're feeling a bit better already.

The problem with adderall, why it's so dangerous, is because initially it really appears to help. You might be able to be on it without really obvious problems for a number of years. If you do start to experience problems in your life you refuse to blame it on the drug because you're convinced by that time that u can't manage your life without it.

So while you are on the drug you are able to ignore the mounting problems in other areas of your life. You don't care that much that your relationships are failing, you fail to notice or care that things are falling apart all around you. I mean hell, on this drug I find it much easier to be a sex worker. Off it I'm much more anxious and fearful lol! I did start in the industry young in the strip club, but then I moved into full on sex work because I struggled at regular jobs.

See what I mean how I was avoiding problems and I could justify becoming a sex worker on this stuff lol! If I had never been prescribed it I'm not sure all the bad stuff I've gotten myself into would have happened. It would probably be less dramatic. Most likely I'd be on disability for borderline personality disorder by now if I had never gotten on this drug. It did help motivate me to support myself but not in a legal desirable way lol!

 

[mpti]

So many people use Adderall and drugs like it nowadays to cope with insane workloads in school, to get through shitty jobs, and all sorts of shit. But remember, if you need meth just to even function, that's definitely just your fault. You're a lazy useless bum for being unable to study or work for shitty career prospects/pay days on end just so you can end up with mental problems and ruined health in general.

Life itself is awful, but life+wageslavery is even worse.