Venting I may have NPD

[LossOfWill]

I'm an incredibly selfish person and my empathy feels nonexistent. I know those with NPD aren't usually aware that they have it but you can become self aware. Half a year ago it felt like something snapped in my head all of the sudden and I just realized all the awful and selfish things I think do and say. It's hard for me to even care enough to change so I'm stuck with this guilt every day. I lightly discussed it with a therapist and they said it's a possibility, but I didn't get a diagnosis. I still do incredibly selfish things or do things only for selfish reasons. I know thoughts or reasons shouldn't really matter if it's a good deed but.. I just can't help but feel guilty. I don't even think I want to be a good person for the sake of being good, I just want the guilt gone. Sorry I'm just rambling now. It's frustrating is all. I should try to get checked.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I find it ironic sometimes how people often lower their sympathy for people with lower sympathy themselves, I guess it's a natural protection mechanism that groups of people and individuals have, which makes traits like that difficult to accept, and it's good motivation to get checked as you say. I doubt they'll just try to remove the guilt of course, but the good news is others would see it as a good thing for you to fix the cause of guilt instead.