I read my parents' messages from 5 years ago, roughly before I was caught for the first time for sh. So, they never found out I sh yet at the time.
Their texts were basically arguing, the usual couple stuff. My dad accused my mum of regretting the family life the moment I was born. I'm so fucking devastated because I always thought I was a good kid before they found out I was depressed and sh. What did I do? They still thought I was a happy kid but my mum regretted me anyway from the moment I was born? Why me and not my brother?
My dad also accused my mum of cheating blah blah, it's not important. I'm not shocked by their texts, I've always known I was a failure, but I don't know why they hated me even before I was depressed. I know I'm a useless child but what did I do? (Or maybe lack thereof.)
I thought my major fuck up in life was ever letting them find out I was depressed, I thought that was the ultimate triggering point for them to think "Oh [my name] is such a fucking failure. A problem." But it's not? I was already a failure before that and I don't know why.
I can't even ctb now because they said they'll go crazy and insane. They say they love me.
In a perfect world, I wouldn't have existed at all.
Their texts were basically arguing, the usual couple stuff. My dad accused my mum of regretting the family life the moment I was born. I'm so fucking devastated because I always thought I was a good kid before they found out I was depressed and sh. What did I do? They still thought I was a happy kid but my mum regretted me anyway from the moment I was born? Why me and not my brother?
My dad also accused my mum of cheating blah blah, it's not important. I'm not shocked by their texts, I've always known I was a failure, but I don't know why they hated me even before I was depressed. I know I'm a useless child but what did I do? (Or maybe lack thereof.)
I thought my major fuck up in life was ever letting them find out I was depressed, I thought that was the ultimate triggering point for them to think "Oh [my name] is such a fucking failure. A problem." But it's not? I was already a failure before that and I don't know why.
I can't even ctb now because they said they'll go crazy and insane. They say they love me.
In a perfect world, I wouldn't have existed at all.
