coolgal82
she/her, terminally silly :3
- Sep 10, 2024
- 522
sorry if this makes no sense im kinda drunk rn but like
idk. shes just so fucking aswesome and the best and like idfk. this isnt even really romantic cus i know it wouldnt work out and she has a bf she's happyt with. but like idk i just wish i could be her bestie and it drives me insane. but i dont even think that'd be enough. nothing would be enough. not even if we somehow merged into one entity. that still wouldnt be enough. and it drives me fucking insane. (also yeah i figures out its mostly fixated on her not my other bestie cus like he was absent from one vc and it wsas just me and her for a while and that was awesome i was planning on getting fuicked up that night but had to delay it cus of how good i felt lmao)
my life rn is just solely based around VCs because i can talk to her, rn my schedule is just wake up a bit before vc and try distract myself till she can vc and then have a breakdown if its slightly late, then when vc ends i try to fill the time between then and sleep with some kind of substance or else i'll have a breakdown or something. honestly i wish i could just talk to her outside of vcs but its too fucking scary and wouldnt be enough and shes usuallyt on call with her boyfriend and another friend and theyre in the us so theres fucking nothing i can do and it hurts when im not talking to her. as i've said i've fantasised about putting spyware on her pc so i can like not be without her but i havent done it cus i'd 100 percent get caught.
i feel like im going insane. i hate this but also i love it but i hate it but i love it but idfk it hurts.
im ngl i first had the thought of like nothing being enough earlier in vc and i dont fully remember it but that was most of it fuck why can i just be with her 24/7
idk. shes just so fucking aswesome and the best and like idfk. this isnt even really romantic cus i know it wouldnt work out and she has a bf she's happyt with. but like idk i just wish i could be her bestie and it drives me insane. but i dont even think that'd be enough. nothing would be enough. not even if we somehow merged into one entity. that still wouldnt be enough. and it drives me fucking insane. (also yeah i figures out its mostly fixated on her not my other bestie cus like he was absent from one vc and it wsas just me and her for a while and that was awesome i was planning on getting fuicked up that night but had to delay it cus of how good i felt lmao)
my life rn is just solely based around VCs because i can talk to her, rn my schedule is just wake up a bit before vc and try distract myself till she can vc and then have a breakdown if its slightly late, then when vc ends i try to fill the time between then and sleep with some kind of substance or else i'll have a breakdown or something. honestly i wish i could just talk to her outside of vcs but its too fucking scary and wouldnt be enough and shes usuallyt on call with her boyfriend and another friend and theyre in the us so theres fucking nothing i can do and it hurts when im not talking to her. as i've said i've fantasised about putting spyware on her pc so i can like not be without her but i havent done it cus i'd 100 percent get caught.
i feel like im going insane. i hate this but also i love it but i hate it but i love it but idfk it hurts.
im ngl i first had the thought of like nothing being enough earlier in vc and i dont fully remember it but that was most of it fuck why can i just be with her 24/7
