Venting i lost my best friend yesterday

[untildeathdousapart]

i lost my best friend yesterday. the best human ive ever met, we went through a lot together. I dont know how she died. She struggled with suicidality for a long time so it may have been that. I'd honestly rather it be that than an accident. I dont know what to do without her, she was one of the reasons i was able to keep going. I feel like its my fault, i know it isnt, but it feels like that. Men supposedly dont cry but i cant stop, she is amazing and didnt deserve to suffer the way she did. I hope to find out sometime if it was suicide... if it was then i deeply hope she found the peace she was looking for.

 

[foxgirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your best friend found the peace she was looking for.. Try to remember the good and beautiful things about her.

 

[nopointinlivingg]

Really sorry to hear that. It's a hard pill to swallow when someone we care about goes out the way we all want to/plan to, when we find out they were suffering exponentially just like us. We don't want them to leave even though we are the few people who truly understand why they left. Maybe we see ourselves in them a little too much - almost like living vicariously through our own compassion. Maybe you'll find out your friend didn't CTB - it may be weirdly relieving even though you mentioned preferring to it an accident, which is understandable as that could mean a violent end. Anyway I hope you find solace through this grief and whatever path you end up taking too.

 

[_Broken_alice]

Men supposedly dont cry but i cant stop

That is a very hurtful societal expectation.
Cry as much as you want to. To cry is a natural part of being human regardless of gender stereotypes.
It is also more than ok to reach out for professional help in processing this if it is within your means and you want to do so.

We are sorry for your loss and also hope she found the peace she sought out. In a way, she still lives on in your memories of her. Remember and cherish the good memories you have of her. Hopefully you get the answer you seek.

 

[untildeathdousapart]

Really sorry to hear that. It's a hard pill to swallow when someone we care about goes out the way we all want to/plan to, when we find out they were suffering exponentially just like us. We don't want them to leave even though we are the few people who truly understand why they left. Maybe we see ourselves in them a little too much - almost like living vicariously through our own compassion. Maybe you'll find out your friend didn't CTB - it may be weirdly relieving even though you mentioned preferring to it an accident, which is understandable as that could mean a violent end. Anyway I hope you find solace through this grief and whatever path you end up taking too.

thank you, she is a wonderful human being and i will never forget her. I'm lucky to have a supporting environment that is trying its best to help me through this, although I'm not sure I'll be able to ever get over it.

 

[dreamingofrest]

thank you, she is a wonderful human being and i will never forget her. I'm lucky to have a supporting environment that is trying its best to help me through this, although I'm not sure I'll be able to ever get over it.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Hopefully she is at peace now, whatever happened.
It's good to hear that you have a supportive environment and all the good memories to hold onto. I know that may not feel like enough now, though.

 

[Some place nice]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope she is at peace, and I hope you are able to find the love and happiness you deserve.

 

[Gonnerr]

Im sorry for your loss, i wish all the best to you.

 

[WordsAreHard]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[FuneralCry]

Rest in peace.

 

[Redacted24]

It's always difficult to experience loss. It's human to grieve, give yourself some slack and honor her by grieving. It's okay.
Things are always changing and that's the only constant. Our turns will come. Sending you strength and support, and a hug if you would accept.

 

[Unattainable666]

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I believe she is at peace now. I want you to know it takes a real man to show his feelings and by you showing your true feelings it's obvious this friend meant a great deal to you. I hope you can find the peace you deserve.
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I believe she is at peace now. I want you to know it takes a real man to show his feelings and by you showing your true feelings it's obvious this friend meant a great deal to you. I hope you can find the peace you deserve.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure it wasn't your fault and I doubt there was anything you could have done. The pain has got to be awful at the moment but I hope in time, you will be able to look back on the happier times you spent together. I'm sure they made a big difference to her.

 

[suffocatingseraphim]

I'm so sorry for this new development in your life.. I sympathize and understand the weight of losing a best friend, potentially by their own hand and blaming yourself. In these cases our minds want to find something to cling onto, a "why," and that becomes ourselves, to make sense of all of the pain.
Ultimately I can only hope and send love towards the possibility of her finding peace and light after her suffering, and I am so sorry for this devastating loss.
This album has really helped with my grief of a similar situation, please dont hesitate to reach out to my dms if you'd like to vent more.
May peace be on your side, friend.

Hotelier, home like noplace is there

 

[DepressedChemMajor]

Sorry for your loss, I feel you. Mine died on the final week of December last year. It was the first time I felt so much pain on someone's death. Furthermore, she did it impulsively and it just makes me feel like I could've done something to save her. But she's in a better place now, and I'll be with her soon so there's that :D. Take care, and good luck brother/sister.

 

[Aim]

I'm so sorry about that

 

[Dliena]

That's really awful! One of the worst things that can ever happen. I'm really sorry for your loss and I'm sure your friend is not suffering anymore.

 

[Mayonaise]

I never experienced the death of a friend so I won't tell you "I understand you, it must be horrible".
I do tell you one thing though: the men-don't-cry-thing is total bullshit. Crying means letting out emotions, it has nothing to do with masculinity.
When an emotion is difficult to manage, you may cry. Some do, some don't. We all react differently. If you can't stop crying, just go on with it. It may be part of the healing process.
And please, don't blame yourself for the passing of your friend. You're not even sure she took her own life, it might as well have been just an accident.
I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel guilty.

 

[untildeathdousapart]

I'm so sorry for this new development in your life.. I sympathize and understand the weight of losing a best friend, potentially by their own hand and blaming yourself. In these cases our minds want to find something to cling onto, a "why," and that becomes ourselves, to make sense of all of the pain.
Ultimately I can only hope and send love towards the possibility of her finding peace and light after her suffering, and I am so sorry for this devastating loss.
This album has really helped with my grief of a similar situation, please dont hesitate to reach out to my dms if you'd like to vent more.
May peace be on your side, friend.

Hotelier, home like noplace is there

thank you a lot, ill listen to it later. :)