I left therapy and I'm visiting the place i plan on jumping tomorrow. I may ctb tomorrow, i just need the courage.

[harlemriver]

I think i've come to terms with me ctb. I had some little hope left but tbh it was just my si. I'm intending on just visiting but i hope something makes me jump, or someone pushes me. I just want to end it. Any tips for courage? I'm planning on buying alcohol and maybe coke or weed.

 

[aitouka]

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering. I'm sure you have very good reasons for CTB. But please, please make sure you've thought this through. As for courage, I'm afraid I can't give it to you, but I'm sure it will come when it is time. It's ok whether you CTB or not in the end. A hug for you.

 

[dvzaazai]

While I won't tell you to reach out to anyone or to stop what you're doing (as doing so horribly backfired for me), as another user said, please make sure you've thought this through.

On courage:
I can't really say much, all I would suggest is for you to think about why you're here in the first place, but that's all. I really don't feel comfortable with telling someone to CTB, but I hope that helps.

I hope you get what you want, and I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

Jumping sounds like such a terrifying method to me, I imagine that those who succeeded just got so determined which allowed them to overcome the survival instinct, I really wish that it's much easier to finally be free from this existence, it's cruel to me how it's so difficult to die. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you are searching for, best of luck.

 

[SVEN]

I'd certainly be taking a flask of fortified (with vodka for me) coffee, just in case I managed to get near the edge without attracting attention. Best wishes tomorrow, whatever your decision and actions.

 

[harlemriver]

I think i've come to terms with me ctb. I had some little hope left but tbh it was just my si. I'm intending on just visiting but i hope something makes me jump, or someone pushes me. I just want to end it. Any tips for courage? I'm planning on buying alcohol and maybe coke or weed.

Updates: the rooftop that i was planning on jumping was being watched this week. Here's how it works: it's a rooftop of a shopping mall, in the 6th floor, and usually employees go there to smoke or kids go there to drink, so it's not usually watched, and even the employees who watch the rooftop don't care, but the last time i went there a guy told me to get out, he said there was no problem being there and when he was there by himself he didn't care but his boss was there and he didn't let people in, i'd imagine it's because one girl ctb there some time ago, but that happened in 2017. I want to do it. All i did this year was hope for it to get better and i've never been worse. I just want to end it soon as possible, but i imagine the problems i'd get the employees in if i ctb while they were suppost to be watching there. I usually have 10-20min before anyone goes to get me out of there but i don't want anyone to be fired because of me. I don't know what else to do. CTB there was safe since i'd most likely die but i don't want to affect anyone else. Now what? should i leave a letter?

 

[harlemriver]

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering. I'm sure you have very good reasons for CTB. But please, please make sure you've thought this through. As for courage, I'm afraid I can't give it to you, but I'm sure it will come when it is time. It's ok whether you CTB or not in the end. A hug for you.

Hey. If I'm being honest, if i could have any wish conceited to me, I'd wish to live in peace. However I know for a fact I just can't and won't due to all my trauma, mental ilnesses and addictions. I have the type of trauma serial killer's have before they commit their crimes. And I know that doesn't mean anything, but I'm scared I might hurt others in the future, I don't believe to be that great of a person. If I'm being honest I think commiting would actually help society as a whole. A last good thing and maybe the first.

 

[aitouka]

Hey. If I'm being honest, if i could have any wish conceited to me, I'd wish to live in peace. However I know for a fact I just can't and won't due to all my trauma, mental ilnesses and addictions. I have the type of trauma serial killer's have before they commit their crimes. And I know that doesn't mean anything, but I'm scared I might hurt others in the future, I don't believe to be that great of a person. If I'm being honest I think commiting would actually help society as a whole. A last good thing and maybe the first.

Please think about yourself, not society. Like I've said, I know you have very valid reasons for CTB. But your illnesses aren't your fault and shouldn't be. You haven't committed any crimes yet, just as you've said. Society doesn't give a shit whether you CTB or not, either society thinks CTB is bad or they just never cared. So put the focus on you. You are what is important. 'You' should be the only matter in the equation.

 

[DeathSleep]

I wish you luck and hope that you find your peace.