Venting I learned that I can also be a bad person

[TheSoulless]

Today I was tired and the people in my class were really getting on my nerves. I wrote about them to my friends, about how they're "tone deaf" and "mentally challenged". My biggest fear is exactly that, people saying bad things about me behind my back. I was being a real hypocrite.

As the day went on we had a great time together, not like I had anticipated. I started to feel worse and worse about what I wrote about them. One of them asked about my social media. He's a great guy, but I always feel like I'm not able to give back the same enthusiasm that he has about the things I do. So I felt like the worst person in the world then.

It's just that when you keep thinking of yourself as the victim you believe you're always in the right, or not able to be evil. That's how I feel, at least.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Good people do bad things, and bad people do good things. It sounds like you have a big heart and I highly doubt you're as bad as you think you are

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It's just that when you keep thinking of yourself as the victim you believe you're always in the right, or not able to be evil. That's how I feel, at least.

This is a really good statement IMO. Things generally aren't so black and white, so simple. Sometimes we are the victims, sometimes we're the "bad guys". We can have so many roles in people's lives. I try to not worry much about it because I can't really change how people view me, and I wouldn't want to work too hard to change someone's opinion of me anyway.

Anyway, blabbing. I'm not judging you for how you were talking about your classmates, we all say things that maybe we shouldn't. I guess I would say just try to be more mindful when you speak, or maybe just take a moment to reflect why you may have such views of people.

 

[netrezven]

I personally stand by what i say, and what i say about people. Must say beeing bad can feel so good :)

 

[FuneralCry]

We all do and say things that we regret. It does not exactly make you a bad person. People can be very irritating and that can cause us to act in different ways. We are all human after all, there is only so much we can take.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

When I was young I remember the world was far more about what you did rather than what you said. Talk is cheap, it doesn't mean shit. Now we have this ultra high alert/woke society where the goal is all about trying to root out evil people simply by way of some callous or dumb stuff they said or wrote. That's such a flawed way of looking at things, and so it really doesn't mean anything if you said you can't stand this or that person for any reason. Hell, I feel like punching half the people I meet in the face on a daily basis.

I miss when it was possible to be rough around the edges and still be a good person. The world used to make a lot more sense - I've lost touch with it the older I've become. Anyway, don't let this get you down. The fact that you ripped into some people says nothing about who you really are.

 

[OrcWitch]

I don't think many of us are saints, and have all thought pretty mean things about people we otherwise think nice things about. You didn't do anything wrong imo. You seem to want to treat people well and are sensitive about things, you aren't bad.

 

[stygal]

Just thinking badly about a person when angered by them isn't necessarily a sign that one is a bad person imo.

It's human - we all go through emotions.
I have re-read a diary of mine yesterday and seemed to be pissed off at three friends that day and called them a bad word in an entry.
Eventho I think they're actually good people and always there when I have a rl problem.

It doesn't matter - we change, we grow and if we don't act on Impulse we're also allowed to think "bad thoughts".

 

[TheSoulless]

So I got in touch with my classmate who I talked shit about. He had a breakdown or something in school so I thought I would send a message and say something. He invited me to visit and opened up about his substance abuse. I'm in kind of a tough situation now because I'm concerned something's gonna happen to him, so I'm not sure if I should contact someone. He seemed fine to me though, and we got some good ideas to motivate both him and myself, and to get him out of the situation he's in.

Edit: not that I'm trying to present myself as a "good person" here, but I wanted to write about this.

 

[stellabelle]

No need to be a "good" person at this point. A "good" person? Best off dead.
i was told I'd never be anything at all.
I was told that enough isn't enough
That it's never good enough
That it's so cool
We lie lie lie
"She believes us! Huh huh she's soooo stupid."
Nah. I never believed you fuck faces.
That's why.
I don't care! Congrats on the next cop funeral.
Are they dead yet? Good.
Me next me next!
Fucking pieces of shit.
Oh it's cool if we burglarize you
Throw you out
But open that pussy
Oh that's right
If you open your legs
They rape you
And if you do it again
They do it again
And if you work really really hard
They just do it again
It's cool
Like totally cool

Kill yourself little girl… you're not so little anymore are you? But you're so little and insignificant to us… do you ever think…. We just laugh at you some more and when we come pluck your dead body out of a creek, we'll enjoy it. Because. Because. Because. Just cuz.

You thought I was here to help? Fuck no. I was here to spit on your dead body and kick dirt in your face and tell you keep trying… no keep going,,, ahhh my dick and balls make me so much better than you.,, you're stupid.,, oh and we love your sister and their kids better than you… they're better than you. They're all so much better than you. You're worth a $5 bottle of Benadryl and miserable death. While I run to snitch on you and tell your "parents" that you're not worth a fuck and on your way out.

That piece of shit Matt herrman?
Oh he can grope and rape all he likes. You don't deserve a place to live or autonomy or a JOB or education. You don't deserve it.

Why are you so desperate?
That's right, because we betrayed you.
But open that fuckin pussy. Hurr durrrhurdurrrr I'm so much better than you
Haven't you realized it by now, Casey, "sweet" Casey.
They stole it all from you. And we watched and kicked our feet back and said ahh. We're so much "better now."
Die.

One round of applause for andres raya please

We cared more about your fuckin loser mother than we ever did you, when were you going to realize we never loved you, we never cared about you, we never wanted you, we never wanted to help you, we just ignored you and did everything behind your back yet again.

So go ahead girl, grab that gun and put it to your head. Blow your fucking brain out and use it to "paint the walls"

Soooo pretty… so gorgeous. Ahh. So much better now cutipie.

Ever notice the pattern? We don't give a fuck, you're our paycheck when you commit suicide, hahahahahaha. And then they can rip you off again and again and again and again.

You don't have a "right" to defend yourself, your space, your assets, your personal property, privacy, or anything else. You deserve to get raped and lay in the street for dead. Or you can always just go ahead and jump in with the jail. It'll cost you a fortune but if you fuck up enough, maybe youll have a "chance" to "graduate" or "be somebody"…. Oh that's right. You won't.

Why don't you go to "counseling" and talk about how you "feel?" Not that that changes anything… just get the fucking razor blade and slice your arms open Casey. You're not worth a fuck to anyone.

Oh and your piece of shit $100k+/yr earner sisters are perfectly fine to steal from you and your measly $20k/yr job where you get abused and gawked at and and and… hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha you'll never be worth a fucking day, a breath, a dime, a fucking hug, a "smile", or anything else.

See this woman?
She's a real hero.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9518625/amp/Drunk-driver-says-f-k-police-downs-shots-video-killing-cop-hit-run.html

 

[nex]

There are very few people who are almost entirely good or bad.

I'm mostly considered a selfless, caring person who has greatly helped a bunch of people. At the same time, I hurt a few people so badly that they can't forgive, and that I can't forgive myself.

It's human nature to classify people as good or bad, while in reality it just doesn't work that way. This can be pretty dangerous when we instinctively try to look over/ignore/deny the horrible things someone's done because they're "our little boy" or a loving father or whatever.

But you care. You regret the bad things you thought/said/did and it looks like you're trying to learn from them to become a better person. And that's the most important thing. By nature we're all both good and bad at the same time, the willingness to see and accept the bad side and to do something about it already separates you. Life is a learning process, and it's up to any of us to become better.

Just as an example, I was fortunate to have a great mentor at a point in my life who also made a great impact for the better in other people's lives. He once told me that when he was a teenager, he sprayed swastikas on walls. But he reflected a lot and learned to become a better person.

You're not born good or bad. If you realise you did wrong, learn from it and try to do better in the future, that's what I'd call a good person.