I Know This May Sound Strange But I Found Love On Here

[OreoWellington]

Obviously, when we go here, I am sure that is the last thing on our minds here. But that is what happened to me unexpectedly. I came in here full force wanting to CTB, and although it still is in effect, he has at least helped and held me back a little bit. We have been such a good presence for one another-- we have both benefitted from meeting and inadvertently falling in love with one another. I still see no hope for recovery, but that is what he is asking us to do so we could at least see if there is a chance so we could be and have a life together. We have a very strange, atypical dynamic due to us having met here on SS. Because of this, we can be a lot more open-minded about things regular people cannot understand. We are a couple that is not unopposed to CTB if need be and we have no reason to hide our innermost thoughts and feelings from one another. We live a few states away from one another and the soonest we are making plans to see one another is within a couple of months. Finding love (or extremely bad luck/a bad past in that arena) had been a HUGE driving force in my suicidality (although there is certainly a lot more to it than that that plays a role). I'm so devastated that I had to get this damaged before meeting someone that I could say had been the best person for me that I have ever met/been with yet and so far. And it is unfortunate that I had to meet him while under these current circumstances of severe, intense suffering. I know with me so far, he has had to deal with a lot. But I truly am so thankful for him and I hope he feels the same way about me too. Here is to hoping I can even recover from this at all (if not, at least be able hang on for a little while longer). That is my biggest hurdle right now. But even in spite of this, I am still gathering materials for SN (enough for two people) in case this does not work out.

 

[wendydong1]

Invite SS forumers to your wedding!

 

[Life+me=error]

Love always finds its way.. I hope the relationship works out for you two.

 

[Lefty]

Amazing words!

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

Love is found in strange places :) and somehow always when you stop looking. Thats how i found my S/O. 6 months later and it seems to be working out.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Here's some header material "evil suicide forum inexplicably makes people find love".
Alternatively, "millennials are ruining the suicide industry! What's next?"
Jokes aside, though, I'm glad you found strength to march onwards. I wish you the best of everything.

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

I am glad you found this person. I believe relationships that start where both sides are in a hardship seem to hold longer. People who are in an emotional distress are more genuine and honest so this will save you from being disappointed afterwards.

On another note your post makes me want to confess my love to my SS crush and see what will happen lol!

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I wish you both the best … If you both decide to CTB together or not. It would be awesome if it worked out and you didn't need to CTB.
I just want to see people happy one way or the other.
I will find my happy when I CTB...

 

[Soul]

Thank you for sharing that! I wish you all good things as you go forth together. This is what "meeting cute" is all about.

 

[BrokenAngel8]

Love usually stays longer when both parts able to show their true selves, nothing to hide, but ready to work it out. I really wish things will go for the better for both of you. Good luck!

 

[SinisterKid]

Its threads like this that have given me the thinnest sliver of hope, that even amongst all this pain and suffering, something good and true can emerge.

The very best of everything to you both in moving forward together.

 

[Stan]

It is always good to see that this place is not just gloom and doom. Your story shines like a candle in the dark. Hoping it goes from strength to strength.

 

[Darkhaven]

So does love truly exist???

 

[Final Escape]

So does love truly exist???

Yes lol! The problem for probably many of us on here is attachment disorders. I don't want to say most but probably many. This is why it's difficult to achieve finding or holding on to love. Yes I've seen evidence that it does exist though.

 

[Kuolema]

Hi. When I first joined this site my intentions were solely focused on learning how to hang myself. I had zero self-esteem to speak of, I didnt have any friends and worst of all, I had never been in love. I had completely given up hope in any sort of future. All I thought about was death. I wasn't looking for help, all I wanted was to die... and then I met her. Some of you from chat might know her but she has left the site for the foreseeable future. Her name is anna-morphosis. We first started talking in chat about 4 months ago. I was in the middle of a psychotic episode where I thought I had become one with god and we spent our first few conversations arguing over whether or not there is any sort of metaphysical unity to being. Suffice to say I didn't convince her lol. Over the next few months we got to know eachother extremely well.Then eventually after a while we decided to pact with each other if worst came to worst. But you see the thing is I was always secretly in love with her and I always thought if I could be with her I would live. She had always told me that she had feelings for me but I guess I never really believed her. It was only when a few weeks ago whilst we were watching anime together that I half jokingly asked her if she would ever consider marrying me, well she said yes. Now obv we are not going to get married after 4 months but she has decided to visit me in Australia next year and if all goes well then we actually will tie the knot. Our love grows stronger and stronger everyday. I promised her and she promised me that if we do ctb then we will do it together but we are also going to do our best to recover to the best of our abilities. Truth being told I still have suicidal thoughts. But fact of the matter is: I want anna more than I want death.

<3 <3

Thx 4 reading

 

[Boonks]

 

[Lefty]

It is nice to see something nice and many others responding seeing how nice it is.

Oh I should mention I'm not a fan of Rihanna, lol.

 

[Boonks]

It is nice to see something nice and many others responding seeing how nice it is.

Oh I should mention I'm not a fan of Rihanna, lol.

I didn't listen to the song. I just posted it.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Congrats y'all! It's actually really sweet! It's funny, I kinda had a feeling people were getting together on here lol.

 

[realjunes]

I am a fan of R. Thanks. Love FourFiveSeconds song by R.

 

[lavenderlungs]

this is very sweet guys, congratulations! it's surprising but nice to see ppl find love here :') wish you lots of happiness and strength in each-other

 

[Santiago]

Alright here goes nothing. 1 and a half year ago I joined this site because I was at my lowest point. After all the suffering because of BDD, anxiety and depression I didn't feel like living anymore. This was going to be the spot that was going to help me take my own life, but then something amazing and magical happened. Something that I could have never imagined myself.

There she was like a piece of jewelry in a trash can. I am a bit afraid to tell you all her name, but we have been going wild in DMs. She looks like a smoking hot model (which is probably the reason why she gets so much attention from all the guys on here), but I was the one who was victorious.

Last week we finally met in real life and that cemented our love forever. She was exactly like I expected. The only thing that came a bit as a surprise was that she still lived with her mom, had an addiction for cheetos and also had a bit of a neckbeard.

I'll love her like she is though. Bae if you read this I love you so much xxx

 

[azucaramargo]

Hi. When I first joined this site my intentions were solely focused on learning how to hang myself. I had zero self-esteem to speak of, I didnt have any friends and worst of all, I had never been in love. I had completely given up hope in any sort of future. All I thought about was death. I wasn't looking for help, all I wanted was to die... and then I met her. Some of you from chat might know her but she has left the site for the foreseeable future. Her name is anna-morphosis. We first started talking in chat about 4 months ago. I was in the middle of a psychotic episode where I thought I had become one with god and we spent our first few conversations arguing over whether or not there is any sort of metaphysical unity to being. Suffice to say I didn't convince her lol. Over the next few months we got to know eachother extremely well.Then eventually after a while we decided to pact with each other if worst came to worst. But you see the thing is I was always secretly in love with her and I always thought if I could be with her I would live. She had always told me that she had feelings for me but I guess I never really believed her. It was only when a few weeks ago whilst we were watching anime together that I half jokingly asked her if she would ever consider marrying me, well she said yes. Now obv we are not going to get married after 4 months but she has decided to visit me in Australia next year and if all goes well then we actually will tie the knot. Our love grows stronger and stronger everyday. I promised her and she promised me that if we do ctb then we will do it together but we are also going to do our best to recover to the best of our abilities. Truth being told I still have suicidal thoughts. But fact of the matter is: I want anna more than I want death.

<3 <3

Thx 4 reading

What a sweet post! Congratulations to you both!

from strength to strength.

I love this expression. I heard the phrase for the first time when Sacha Baron Cohen was being interviewed about his having turned down the Freddie Mercury role in "Bohemian Rhapsody." Cohen said he disagreed with Brian May's intended storyline (i.e., after Freddie's death Queen goes on "from strength to strength"). Is this expression chiefly British, or have you heard it being used in the U.S.?

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

Im already seeing somebody, but they know a bit about suicidal stuff, having tried to od on street drugs. They know i am on a depression/suicide forum, but nothing more. I always run on dark so if he ever looked it up it wouldn't look like what he has seen. Default being light.

I think this site is a lot of people at their lowest. And that can be dangerous, but oh so fulfilling. Can you imagine how solid a for foundation in communication you have? You not build a life on that foundation and magic ensues. It is probably a good way to find a real, honest relationship. Like, we are down to die together, you think there are a lot of worse secrets than that? Lol

 

[azucaramargo]

I think this site is a lot of people at their lowest. And that can be dangerous, but oh so fulfilling

Gosh, this is true!!

Alright here goes nothing. 1 and a half year ago I joined this site because I was at my lowest point. After all the suffering because of BDD, anxiety and depression I didn't feel like living anymore. This was going to be the spot that was going to help me take my own life, but then something amazing and magical happened. Something that I could have never imagined myself.

There she was like a piece of jewelry in a trash can. I am a bit afraid to tell you all her name, but we have been going wild in DMs. She looks like a smoking hot model (which is probably the reason why she gets so much attention from all the guys on here), but I was the one who was victorious.

Last week we finally met in real life and that cemented our love forever. She was exactly like I expected. The only thing that came a bit as a surprise was that she still lived with her mom, had an addiction for cheetos and also had a bit of a neckbeard.

I'll love her like she is though. Bae if you read this I love you so much xxx

Awwww, this is so sweet! A piece of jewelry in a garbage can! That's so awesome.

 

[Talokin]

I have a similar-ish story.
About 8 months ago, I contacted someone on a suicide sub on Reddit, with every intention of making a pact. But I would only help him if I knew he had tried enough (he has 2 small children).

We talked non-stop for a week, without even exchanging names or pictures. During this time, I asked what his wife thought he was doing (yes....a wife...). He said "She probably thinks I'm flirting, which I'd rather her think. But I could never tell her what we are really talking about. We don't have that kind of trust."

Please...if anyone is personally trigger by unfaithfulness, please keep in mind that I ended up talking him out of killing himself.

We were able to meet, IRL, 3 times. It was mostly staring at each other, holding hands, and intense hugging.

However, I had a breakdown a few months ago, which involved benzo withdrawals, and was very verbally aggressive and cruel to him. We still talk, but he's totally shut down. I've hurt him and I hate myself even more for it...

 

[End Piece]

This is so lovely. I really think people like us need partners who are, or have been in the same boat, or have a great amount of empathy. I'm with a guy right now who is virtually unshakeable when it comes to my messiness. He saw me go from this hopeful, sober and fit girl to this depressed mess. But he gets it, because he's been there. He is plagued by substance abuse issues and depression himself. I think we will either live to the fullest or die together. In the meanwhile, we'll have some freaky sex.