Method I know my method

[ssaaahmo]

I have officially decided today that I will die from dehydration and starvation. It will be difficult, as I do not live alone. I'm an expert at this though, as I've been doing this for over a decade. I know how to be sneaky and hide things like this. Years of practicing really makes you an expert I guess. I'll still have to be careful...but I know what I'm doing.

PLEASE don't consider this method if you don't already struggle with disordered eating or an eating disorder. It could cause a relapse that probably won't be worth it. I'm only doing it this way because this is my comfort and entire life and this is how I want to die personally.

I hope that came across the right way...so sorry if it didn't. I just don't want others who are actively trying to recover to go down this dark path.

It will hurt but I do enjoy this kind of pain. You can ask me any questions, I'm comfortable talking about this stuff I guess. Please please please HIGHLY consider this before choosing this method. It WILL hurt like hell: I know, I've been there. The last thing I'd want is for someone to die painfully when they want a quick way out. Just thought I'd share this idea.

 

[Harleyyy]

I have officially decided today that I will die from dehydration and starvation. It will be difficult, as I do not live alone. I'm an expert at this though, as I've been doing this for over a decade. I know how to be sneaky and hide things like this. Years of practicing really makes you an expert I guess. I'll still have to be careful...but I know what I'm doing.

PLEASE don't consider this method if you don't already struggle with disordered eating or an eating disorder. It could cause a relapse that probably won't be worth it. I'm only doing it this way because this is my comfort and entire life and this is how I want to die personally.

I hope that came across the right way...so sorry if it didn't. I just don't want others who are actively trying to recover to go down this dark path.

It will hurt but I do enjoy this kind of pain. You can ask me any questions, I'm comfortable talking about this stuff I guess. Please please please HIGHLY consider this before choosing this method. It WILL hurt like hell: I know, I've been there. The last thing I'd want is for someone to die painfully when they want a quick way out. Just thought I'd share this idea.

How will you overcome thirst?

 

[ssaaahmo]

How will you overcome thirst?

I'm so used to being regularly dehydrated to the point of blacking out that it's pretty easy for me

 

[Harleyyy]

I have officially decided today that I will die from dehydration and starvation. It will be difficult, as I do not live alone. I'm an expert at this though, as I've been doing this for over a decade. I know how to be sneaky and hide things like this. Years of practicing really makes you an expert I guess. I'll still have to be careful...but I know what I'm doing.

PLEASE don't consider this method if you don't already struggle with disordered eating or an eating disorder. It could cause a relapse that probably won't be worth it. I'm only doing it this way because this is my comfort and entire life and this is how I want to die personally.

I hope that came across the right way...so sorry if it didn't. I just don't want others who are actively trying to recover to go down this dark path.

It will hurt but I do enjoy this kind of pain. You can ask me any questions, I'm comfortable talking about this stuff I guess. Please please please HIGHLY consider this before choosing this method. It WILL hurt like hell: I know, I've been there. The last thing I'd want is for someone to die painfully when they want a quick way out. Just thought I'd share this idea.

You said you dont live alone, what if you get sent to the hospital

 

[deadpixels]

I already looked for this in the old threads and the vast majority of information point to the unnecessary suffering and high unreliability of this method. Do you have any information that wasn't discussed before? I would seriously consider this method since I'm used to skip many meals and going a few days without eating.

 

[030366]

I'm curious, what made you consider this method? wont you be force fed? sounds like agonizing, painful way to go.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

I've tried not eating at all and drinking only a few sips of water for a week and man that was so tough :(

 

[ssaaahmo]

You said you dont live alone, what if you get sent to the hospital

I know how to sneak things past staff. I've done it before and I can do it again.

I already looked for this in the old threads and the vast majority of information point to the unnecessary suffering and high unreliability of this method. Do you have any information that wasn't discussed before? I would seriously consider this method since I'm used to skip many meals and going a few days without eating.

I'm not an expert, I just know from personal experience that it'll take a long time and there does happen to be a high unreliability rate. Survival instinct can be VERY hard to ignore when it comes to food and water, so discipline is essential. I built up my tolerance by just jumping in head-first and dealing with the symptoms as they came, as hard as it was. Be very careful: there are A LOT of extremely painful side effects to this stuff, like re-feeding syndrome, which is what happens when you eat too much food and/or too quickly after a period of starving, and your body can go into shock, intestine damage, and a lot of other things, like anemia, for example.

I'm curious, what made you consider this method? wont you be force fed? sounds like agonizing, painful way to go.

I've been this way for a long time and it's the only thing I feel like I'm truly good at and comfortable with as a method. I want to be part of the 20% that die from anorexia-nervosa, as fucked up as it might sound. I have been force-fed, but I reversed it by exercising a lot and abusing laxatives. There's always a way to hide something. It is painful, but that's why I like it, because I want a reminder that I'm slowly killing myself and hurting and I honestly feel like I deserve it. My brain is wild so I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense.

I'm curious, what made you consider this method? wont you be force fed? sounds like agonizing, painful way to go.

I've been this way for a long time and it's the only thing I feel like I'm truly good at and comfortable with as a method. I want to be part of the 20% that die from anorexia-nervosa, as fucked up as it might sound. I have been force-fed, but I reversed it by exercising a lot and abusing laxatives. There's always a way to hide something. It is painful, but that's why I like it, because I want a reminder that I'm slowly killing myself and hurting and I honestly feel like I deserve it. My brain is wild so I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense.

I've tried not eating at all and drinking only a few sips of water for a week and man that was so tough :(

Oh goodness, yes, it is tough. I've had days where I'd drink no water and get my nets to zero so I know how much it can really hurt like hell.

 

[jaskon223]

When I have suicidal thoughts came to my mind, this method is one of my opinions, but I guess it must be tough to do this.

 

[ssaaahmo]

When I have suicidal thoughts came to my mind, this method is one of my opinions, but I guess it must be tough to do this.

It definitely is tough a lot of the time and not for everybody

 

[ssaaahmo]

How long can you go without water at one time for one stretch, how many days hours?
At what point how many days hours do you feel about to black out?
How long can you go without food at one time for one stretch, how many days hours?

The most I've gone without water is around 2 days.
I've blacked out even after eating a meal, or after exercising, or if I've exercised and had no water, or after making myself throw up or overdosing on laxatives. It really depends because I feel pretty weak a lot of the time, so sometimes my body is just like "HELL no, time to shut down so I don't get hurt anymore!!" Every single time I stand up, I have to be near a wall or something sturdy to hold onto, just in case, because I get lightheaded and my vision goes completely black for a few seconds and I just feel like collapsing.
I've had days where I've had no water and gotten my net calories down to zero (meaning that I ate food but burned off all the calories through exercise,) and I didn't start taking vitamins up until recently. I don't need the vitamins, but I'm forced to have them when someone's around. Sometimes I throw them away or flush them down the toilet.
I did have this one time for like 2 or 3 days though where I refused to eat any kind of food, so I was forced to drink Ensure protein shakes as a replacement for meals. I eventually stopped doing that, and no one could convince me to drink juice or milk or even water, and then I was forced to eat solids again. That was a hell, because ensure shakes feel like a heavy rock in my stomach and it's very uncomfortable. And I had to get used to having bowel movements again, because living off of liquids for 2 or three days threw my body for a loop.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

I've been 6 days without fluids, it's horrendous. It hurts, your mouth tastes disgusting and it's exhausting. You struggle to think and talk, doing the most simple tasks becomes confusing and very stressful, I really couldn't have gone any longer.

The longest I've been without food was 14 days, that was tough too. Maybe my brain gets confused easily but I think this is going to be really hard for you.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I've been 6 days without fluids, it's horrendous. It hurts, your mouth tastes disgusting and it's exhausting. You struggle to think and talk, doing the most simple tasks becomes confusing and very stressful, I really couldn't have gone any longer.

The longest I've been without food was 14 days, that was tough too. Maybe my brain gets confused easily but I think this is going to be really hard for you.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sorry it was so hard on you.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

Neither occasion for me was a conscious attempt to ctb. I was just in such a bad head space that I didn't bother eating or drinking.

I think it's going to need serious determination and will power, I hope it goes as you hope it will

 

[ssaaahmo]

Neither occasion for me was a conscious attempt to ctb. I was just in such a bad head space that I didn't bother eating or drinking.

I think it's going to need serious determination and will power, I hope it goes as you hope it will

I have the determination, I just need the others to go away and respect my choice. Thank you

 

[thereisnoneed]

I know yu said that your lean more towards this method for personal/vague reasons

but why not any other method?

they can do the work done with lesser pain and time

 

[Longman]

Are you afraid that staff can force feed you using gavage or even vein catheter (with glucose solution)? Or they don't have such rights?

 

[Alain]

It's way too violent for me. I'd love a painless deathnthat leaves no blood or make my body turn creepy. Because I have two obsessions : I suffered all my life and want my last moments without any suffering at all. And I also want my sister to be able to say goodbye to me as she did with my father. He looked like he was sleeping, it was not traumatizing for her, or for me. I don't want her to see my dead face all messed up with a distorted mouth, one eye looking at west when the other one trying to look at east. (Damn, I just imagined my face like that and it made me laugh).

I'm impressed by people who don't fear suffering. I'd be hanging righ now if I was not afraid of that.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I know yu said that your lean more towards this method for personal/vague reasons

but why not any other method?

they can do the work done with lesser pain and time

Because anorexia is my entire life and the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I want to be part of the 20% that die directly from it. I just want to know that I gave it my all and made Ana happy. The thing is about this method is I like the pain and the fact that I'm slowly deteriorating before my eyes. I don't know how else to explain it..

 

[NekoNomNom]

I respect your resolve and tenacity in pursuing this method. The most that I went without food was two days. It didn't even phase me, most likely due to the stress. I don't think I could have gone on much longer, though.

I have the determination, I just need the others to go away and respect my choice. Thank you

This right here. My gosh, if this isn't the most relateable thing. I wish that more people had that respect and understanding.

I hope that you'll be able to find the peace you're seeking, no matter what you decide to do.

 

[ssaaahmo]

Are you afraid that staff can force feed you using gavage or even vein catheter (with glucose solution)? Or they don't have such rights?

I'm an adult so I can't be forcefully hospitalized unless my family can prove with no doubt whatsoever that I'm doing this to specifically kill myself, which they can't because they don't know this. They can't force me to go anywhere because they can't make me now, so this isn't a worry of mine.

It's way too violent for me. I'd love a painless death that leaves no blood or make my body turn creepy. Because I have two obsessions : I suffered all my life and want my last moments without any suffering at all. And I also want my sister to be able to say goodbye to me as she did with my father. He looked like he was sleeping, it was not traumatizing for her, or for me. I don't want her to see my dead face all messed up with a distorted mouth, one eye looking at west when the other one trying to look at east. (Damn, I just imagined my face like that and it made me laugh).

I'm impressed by people who don't fear suffering. I'd be hanging right now if I was not afraid of that.

That's totally valid and I respect that

I respect your resolve and tenacity in pursuing this method. The most that I went without food was two days. It didn't even phase me, most likely due to the stress. I don't think I could have gone on much longer, though.

This right here. My gosh, if this isn't the most relateable thing. I wish that more people had that respect and understanding.

I hope that you'll be able to find the peace you're seeking, no matter what you decide to do.

Thank you! I know, I was never given a choice for whether I wanted to be born or not, so I have a right to take myself out of this planet. As long as I'm not harming anyone else, I don't see why this is such a big deal.

 

[braketimez]

I've considered this at times...I just know I would cave eventually. It makes sense why it would appeal to you if your life has resonated with it so far.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I've considered this at times...I just know I would cave eventually. It makes sense why it would appeal to you if your life has resonated with it so far.

Yeah, I've struggled with caving too. It can be super hard but I just tell myself to keep going as best as I can