NSFW I know it's faaar from ideal but...? Please help with my set up and fear 🙏

[illAF]

Still in a psych ward. I already know numerous of you will say I should NOT attempt in here. Trust me, I know that. I know the risks.
Thing is I can't just fake being better to go home, as some of you suggest. I just can't, I'm a mess.
And I REALLY can't take it anymore. This tortuous life needs to stop. Now.

I already lifted up all my weight with my hands to test the thing, it can support my body.
The socks are supposed to help with the sweet spot thing but I tried a little bit and it does not work. All I have is the feeling of head exploding and huge pain on the windpipe.

So these are my questions :

- Are there any way to reduce the pain with full suspension ? Like finding the sweet spot before kicking the chair or something like that ?
- Is it a problem that there is not a proper knot that would tightened around my neck after the drop ?
- Could the convulsions be so strong that the ligature would somehow be removed from the anchor point ?

My main issue is really the pain that goes with full. When I tried the thing I could not possibly think of me kicking the chair out. FSH is far from being my method of choice, trust me. It scares the shit out of me.

But I'm just stuck now and I really need to go out, things are getting worse and worse and I need your help please

Thanks in advance xxx

 

[Meaningless_guy]

I just going to say one thing abot this, i don't like that way to do it but if you like it you should know that if you manage to get a larger rope and a really high place, with the force of gravity your neck will break instantly and so you will pass out at the same time, so there's no suffering.
Just a fun fact, nothing else.

Remember, you can always stay here with us if you choose to not doing it, after all, pretty much of us feels like you.

Good luck with whatever you finally do, its your choice after all, hope you find a way out whatever that way is.

 

[illAF]

I just going to say one thing abot this, i don't like that way to do it but if you like it you should know that if you manage to get a larger rope and a really high place, with the force of gravity your neck will break instantly and so you will pass out at the same time, so there's no suffering.
Just a fun fact, nothing else.

Remember, you can always stay here with us if you choose to not doing it, after all, pretty much of us feels like you.

Good luck with whatever you finally do, its your choice after all, hope you find a way out whatever that way is.

I do not like that way neither. Really don't. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I'm just sick of passing hours and hours saying I'll CTB and chicken out every time.
I have one more option, jumping from a bridge, but I'm not even able to get out of my bed more than a few minutes per day so escaping the ward to go to the bridge seems harder than hanging, even though I really don't like this method...

Anyway, thanks for your kind words. I hope I won't stick around this site much longer - the community is incredible but my bus have been waiting for me for way too much years now..

 

[busybee]

This might not be able to support your weight for long enough. If so you will have marks on your neck and dots on your face and will be constantly supervised once they see them.
Also the room looks like it would echo and that would make the sounds of convulsions and catching your breath louder and easier for them to find you.

 

[illAF]

Anyway, I finally managed to write a proper note to my family and friends tonight so that's already a step

That's not the first note I write at all but I really hope it will be THE one.

Always opened to have advices/answers about my set up and the FSH method

This might not be able to support your weight for long enough. If so you will have marks on your neck and dots on your face and will be constantly supervised once they see them.
Also the room looks like it would echo and that would make the sounds of convulsions and catching your breath louder and easier for them to find you.

I know, it's far from ideal. But I'm really running out of options now... Do you know if the sounds are very loud ?
This bathroom is on the second floor and the nurses are on the first + a lot of patient are doing strange noises/screams in here so I hope it can do the trick. I could also put on the shower to cover a bit the noises.

 

[Wants2CTB]

This might not be able to support your weight for long enough. If so you will have marks on your neck and dots on your face and will be constantly supervised once they see them.
Also the room looks like it would echo and that would make the sounds of convulsions and catching your breath louder and easier for them to find you.

Do red dots on face mean you found carotids? I've got to that point attempting partial, wondering if I didn't chicken out and stayed in position long enough if I could have passed out

 

[busybee]

Anyway, I finally managed to write a proper note to my family and friends tonight so that's already a step

That's not the first note I write at all but I really hope it will be THE one.

Always opened to have advices/answers about my set up and the FSH method

I know, it's far from ideal. But I'm really running out of options now... Do you know if the sounds are very loud ?
This bathroom is on the second floor and the nurses are on the first + a lot of patient are doing strange noises/screams in here so I hope it can do the trick. I could also put on the shower to cover a bit the noises.

noises vary a lot from case to case so it is hard to tell.

 

[CW36]

Still in a psych ward. I already know numerous of you will say I should NOT attempt in here. Trust me, I know that. I know the risks.
Thing is I can't just fake being better to go home, as some of you suggest. I just can't, I'm a mess.
And I REALLY can't take it anymore. This tortuous life needs to stop. Now.

I already lifted up all my weight with my hands to test the thing, it can support my body.
The socks are supposed to help with the sweet spot thing but I tried a little bit and it does not work. All I have is the feeling of head exploding and huge pain on the windpipe.

So these are my questions :

- Are there any way to reduce the pain with full suspension ? Like finding the sweet spot before kicking the chair or something like that ?
- Is it a problem that there is not a proper knot that would tightened around my neck after the drop ?
- Could the convulsions be so strong that the ligature would somehow be removed from the anchor point ?

My main issue is really the pain that goes with full. When I tried the thing I could not possibly think of me kicking the chair out. FSH is far from being my method of choice, trust me. It scares the shit out of me.

But I'm just stuck now and I really need to go out, things are getting worse and worse and I need your help please

Thanks in advance xxx

With regards to a feeling of your head exploding. That is because you're not blocking off the carotids enough / at all. Your head is filling with more and more blood without being able to escape (you are blocking the jugular veins only, which fold with less pressure cause they're closer to the surface of the skin). You need to go into the noose hard and fast, and that's why I mentioned a running noose. Again, another benefit with full is that it's hard not achieve the required pressure, but partial is more about your technique.

 

[busybee]

Do red dots on face mean you found carotids? I've got to that point attempting partial, wondering if I didn't chicken out and stayed in position long enough if I could have passed out

Petechiae come from broken blood vessels. In hanging they happen from the sudden increase in venous pressure. Cartoids are arterys so compressing them stops blood from reaching the brain. Sounds like you got your veins compressed. Usually compressing those makes people feel like their head will explode.