Venting I kinda feel guilty

[MiMif]

I've officially made a date which is 6 days from now...I don't even really like my family but I feel a bit guilty towards my mom. She always tried honestly even if she said some mean things she still tried to get me better. And I kinda reassured her I was ok and wouldn't do anything.

I feel really guilty. I hope I don't fail cause if I do I'ma have to face her and I can't do that.

Anyone know how to overcome this feeling?

 

[Argo]

I do relate, since my mom is the only one who will take it very badly, but personally I accept that there's not much I can do about that as long as I decide that it makes the most sense for me to go. So... if it makes the most sense for me to go, everything else just sort of has to be squared by that fact. As far as failing, I think it's not even a problem, because all I have to acknowledge is that these things sometimes fail, they're very difficult, we don't live in a world where access to this kind of thing is a smooth and reliable process. Once I acknowledge that, any "failure" is easy to forgive. I personally don't care what she thinks of me, maybe that's what separates us here. You seem to care about her judgement of you, and that probably creates worry for you. I don't have anything to add there because that does sound like it complicates things

 

[migimortis]

I'm also struggling with this. I was in denial at first but I'm dealing with severe guilt. I'm tired and I don't see any other way other than to hurt the people I love.

 

[Zany]

As cold as it may sound. What you decide to do with your own life, or death i guess, should take priority over what others might think of your decision. At the end of the day you don't live for somene else, even your family. As someone who's dealing with the same guilt, i try to convince myself to look at it this way; I know my family loves me, but that has never cured my mental state, as nice and well-intentioned as they may have been. I feel especially guilty since I've seen others go through depression and make it out. But still I don't believe you should let the end of your own life be decided by anyone other than you yourself. You should be in control of your own choices, no matter how upset family members may be. Though of course it's not that easy to suppress your own empathy for others

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

I don't know how to overcome this feeling, but I can sort of relate. My husband somehow found out how serious I am about kms (he must have found out about this forum) and he keeps asking me to promise him that I'm not going to do it. I feel so guilty that he's trying so hard to make me happy and I'm being selfish trying to put my plan together and get ready to ctb. I also feel guilty leaving my mom and sister alone in their misery as I am the only person they pour all their sadness/problems on.

 

[pasho25000]

I've officially made a date which is 6 days from now...I don't even really like my family but I feel a bit guilty towards my mom. She always tried honestly even if she said some mean things she still tried to get me better. And I kinda reassured her I was ok and wouldn't do anything.

I feel really guilty. I hope I don't fail cause if I do I'ma have to face her and I can't do that.

Anyone know how to overcome this feeling?

are you going to ctb just because you dont like your familly, you don't have to like your familly you know when time for you to leave home you could have a great life don't rush things
i didnt like my familly either
the day I left the house I started to live, be patient, things will improve

 

[MiMif]

are you going to ctb just because you dont like your familly, you don't have to like your familly you know when time for you to leave home you could have a great life don't rush things
i didnt like my familly either
the day I left the house I started to live, be patient, things will improve

I don't want to ctb just because I don't like my family
That's not really a reason for it I just don't like them.