Venting I keep failing

[ThatStateOfMind]

I set a goal for myself to do something and it seems like I can't do anything but fail. The only thing I've done right is not message my ex the whole weekend. I only messaged when she messaged first. I hated the fourth because all I could think about was her, and the time I spent with her last year. It's crazy how one woman can Fuck me up this bad.

Then I tried to be positive this weekend and I couldn't. Even when I was hanging out with my friend and his family on Sunday, I plastered on a fake smile.

It feels like all I can do is fail, fail, and fail again. I feel like im on the verge of a mental breakdown. All the stress in my life is mounting on me right now, with family issues, my ex, college, feeling like less than everyone else, etc. It's not making life any easier at all.

I just needed to vent, I guess I should go do some school work and try to program some stupid thing and probably get a bad grade regardless of my effort just like last assignment

 

[Meowsies]

I get you. Sometimes the best we can do for ourselves is to have some kindness. When it got like this for me, I found it incredibly beneficial to simply give myself the kindness I was denying to me. Do I feel like eating only a piece of chocolate for a day or binging my favourite show? Go ahead, do it. What makes me feel comfortable? What do I like to do in my free time? It's good to take a step back and let go of your very own expectiations. Of course, there might come a time where you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and you might need the help of medication to overcome this rough patch, but it is very important that you remember to offer yourself some grace, even if it's incredibly hard. It's always a good place to start. Hang in there, you got this.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I get you. Sometimes the best we can do for ourselves is to have some kindness. When it got like this for me, I found it incredibly beneficial to simply give myself the kindness I was denying to me. Do I feel like eating only a piece of chocolate for a day or binging my favourite show? Go ahead, do it. What makes me feel comfortable? What do I like to do in my free time? It's good to take a step back and let go of your very own expectiations. Of course, there might come a time where you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and you might need the help of medication to overcome this rough patch, but it is very important that you remember to offer yourself some grace, even if it's incredibly hard. It's always a good place to start. Hang in there, you got this.

Thank you, honestly I needed to hear this. I feel like I'm crazy sometimes. It's hard for me to let go of my expectations, honestly. Medication or therapy might be the best route for me. Especially as I'm still fairly hurt by a breakup over 6 months ago.

 

[Meowsies]

Realising you need help is the first step. You can do this! Pm me if you want to talk. Hugs!

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Realising you need help is the first step. You can do this! Pm me if you want to talk. Hugs!

I appreciate the offer. I've been over on the recovery section more recently. I've known that I needed help, but actually getting it is the more difficult part lol

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I set a goal for myself to do something and it seems like I can't do anything but fail. The only thing I've done right is not message my ex the whole weekend. I only messaged when she messaged first. I hated the fourth because all I could think about was her, and the time I spent with her last year. It's crazy how one woman can Fuck me up this bad.

Then I tried to be positive this weekend and I couldn't. Even when I was hanging out with my friend and his family on Sunday, I plastered on a fake smile.

It feels like all I can do is fail, fail, and fail again. I feel like im on the verge of a mental breakdown. All the stress in my life is mounting on me right now, with family issues, my ex, college, feeling like less than everyone else, etc. It's not making life any easier at all.

I just needed to vent, I guess I should go do some school work and try to program some stupid thing and probably get a bad grade regardless of my effort just like last assignment

Hey man, it's okay if you were unable to feel positive. You can't force yourself to feel anything; you can try to indirectly influence them but they have to organically come up on their own.


The relationship you had with your ex was important to you and what it meant to you went beyond just one particular person.

You chose a hard course of study and you're going to continue to run into challenges. Do you understand what you did wrong that got you. It's normal to get discouraged and frustrated but you can't let that knock you off path.

You mentioned thinking about seeing a therapist. That makes it sound like you've never tried one before. In that case it may be worth trying. You have this forum to vent but with a therapist you'd have a dedicated space just for you.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Hey man, it's okay if you were unable to feel positive. You can't force yourself to feel anything; you can try to indirectly influence them but they have to organically come up on their own.


The relationship you had with your ex was important to you and what it meant to you went beyond just one particular person.

You chose a hard course of study and you're going to continue to run into challenges. Do you understand what you did wrong that got you. It's normal to get discouraged and frustrated but you can't let that knock you off path.

You mentioned thinking about seeing a therapist. That makes it sound like you've never tried one before. In that case it may be worth trying. You have this forum to vent but with a therapist you'd have a dedicated space just for you.

Thanks I actually feel really good today. I still don't feel the best but I feel more accomplished.

With my ex, I've just decided to turn off notifications to give myself space so I can just not reply to her messages easily.

As for my hard course, I programmed the assignment yesterday. I feel way more accomplished today as it's like something clicked and I'm beginning to understand the law of sines and the law of cosines.

Also, I haven't seen a therapist before. I've been too afraid to after a not so great experience with a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist tried to pressure me into trying Prozac when I wasn't ready.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Thanks I actually feel really good today. I still don't feel the best but I feel more accomplished.

With my ex, I've just decided to turn off notifications to give myself space so I can just not reply to her messages easily.

As for my hard course, I programmed the assignment yesterday. I feel way more accomplished today as it's like something clicked and I'm beginning to understand the law of sines and the law of cosines.

Also, I haven't seen a therapist before. I've been too afraid to after a not so great experience with a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist tried to pressure me into trying Prozac when I wasn't ready.

Well therapists if they're not a doctor don't have anything to do with medication.

Disabling notifications from her sounds like a good idea.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Well therapists if they're not a doctor don't have anything to do with medication.

Disabling notifications from her sounds like a good idea.

Yeah, in my state at least, psychologists and therapists cannot prescribe medication, therefore I suppose I wouldn't be pressured to take it. Which is a relaxing thought, I will give it some thought, as I believe there is a therapist a few minutes away from me.

I think so as well.