cinnamonstix
Member
- Nov 11, 2024
- 7
Wow! my first post on here! I've been a lurker for abt a year now, but just recently made an account. Hi everybody :).
It feels comforting to know I truly have an outlet to express how i've been feeling these past couple of months. I've recently graduated cosmetology school, and want to do hair and makeup as a career. I've always loved the things makeup can do, and the expression it gives. Hair is another form of it, and as girls know its a huge part of your identity. I feel like the people here too can understand, beauty can make or break someone's day. Lately, I feel like i've been breaking peoples days.
I just got my first hair styling job, it's not somewhere I wish to stay, as all of the clients are (and this is nothing against them lol they are very sweet ppl) middle-aged ladies who just want a blowout and a trim. For context, I want to do crazy adventurous hair! Braids, extensions, liberty spikes, crazy haircuts etc. but that's not where I'm at right now. I didn't practice these girls kinda hair. The ones that want foils and to be blonde. I'm not good at it. and its no longer school. I've told my manager this but she says I just have to keep practicing. I know that these things take practice but why I should be charging someone 112 dollars for a service I know I'm not good at feels like a steal. I feel very guilty about it.
A couple weeks ago, I had someone coming in. I won't go too into it but essentially the product I gave her she hated it. She insulted me personally, yelled in my face that I ruined her hair and she couldn't go outside looking like that. My manager said my technique was fine, it was a miscommunication about what she wanted, but still, she left my chair feeling hideous and thats on me. I got into this wanting to make people feel pretty, to have fun girl time, to offer an escape from peoples troubles and just have a pamper day, y'know? But lately it just feels like I do the opposite, I just make people feel bad.
This young single mother came in as well, and while I know I wasn't the cause of the problem,, I couldn't fix the problem... her daughter, who was a couple years old, was playing with her hair. Now, I don;t know what exactly that means, it's what she told me, but she had about 1 inch of hair just sticking straight up in her bang area, like it'd either been cut or pulled off, and it made her feel incredibly insecure. She just wanted it curled away from her face, which... was very hard to do since it was so small and on the top of her head. My straightener was way bigger. I couldnt get it to lay as nicely as the other side, and she burst out crying saying she can't leave like this, she feels ugly, I didn't know what to do. I turned her away from the mirror so I could focus on trying to lay it down and she didn't have to watch the process,, but she kept peeking and her reaction was getting worse and worse. Eventually she told me to stop trying, and went to cry in the bathroom for 10 minutes.
I feel so horrible. It's a sinking feeling. To make someone cry or yell because of you. it makes me want to give up, but I won't, I don't really have that choice lol
I just wish I could do better, I've said it so many times but I just want people to leave me feeling good about themselves. Feeling like they can conquer the world. It's just not happening as often as I'd like. It feels like people settle for me, and I hate it. I've only been out of school for 2 months but still. I can tell my coworkers look down on me too, because I'm not even 20 yet, and they're all so much older than me. They see me as immature, lazy, etc. I don't know why. I just try to be super friendly and maybe that comes off some way. blah blah I'm rambling now.
I just can't wait until idk, I make stranger after stranger consistently happy.
It feels comforting to know I truly have an outlet to express how i've been feeling these past couple of months. I've recently graduated cosmetology school, and want to do hair and makeup as a career. I've always loved the things makeup can do, and the expression it gives. Hair is another form of it, and as girls know its a huge part of your identity. I feel like the people here too can understand, beauty can make or break someone's day. Lately, I feel like i've been breaking peoples days.
I just got my first hair styling job, it's not somewhere I wish to stay, as all of the clients are (and this is nothing against them lol they are very sweet ppl) middle-aged ladies who just want a blowout and a trim. For context, I want to do crazy adventurous hair! Braids, extensions, liberty spikes, crazy haircuts etc. but that's not where I'm at right now. I didn't practice these girls kinda hair. The ones that want foils and to be blonde. I'm not good at it. and its no longer school. I've told my manager this but she says I just have to keep practicing. I know that these things take practice but why I should be charging someone 112 dollars for a service I know I'm not good at feels like a steal. I feel very guilty about it.
A couple weeks ago, I had someone coming in. I won't go too into it but essentially the product I gave her she hated it. She insulted me personally, yelled in my face that I ruined her hair and she couldn't go outside looking like that. My manager said my technique was fine, it was a miscommunication about what she wanted, but still, she left my chair feeling hideous and thats on me. I got into this wanting to make people feel pretty, to have fun girl time, to offer an escape from peoples troubles and just have a pamper day, y'know? But lately it just feels like I do the opposite, I just make people feel bad.
This young single mother came in as well, and while I know I wasn't the cause of the problem,, I couldn't fix the problem... her daughter, who was a couple years old, was playing with her hair. Now, I don;t know what exactly that means, it's what she told me, but she had about 1 inch of hair just sticking straight up in her bang area, like it'd either been cut or pulled off, and it made her feel incredibly insecure. She just wanted it curled away from her face, which... was very hard to do since it was so small and on the top of her head. My straightener was way bigger. I couldnt get it to lay as nicely as the other side, and she burst out crying saying she can't leave like this, she feels ugly, I didn't know what to do. I turned her away from the mirror so I could focus on trying to lay it down and she didn't have to watch the process,, but she kept peeking and her reaction was getting worse and worse. Eventually she told me to stop trying, and went to cry in the bathroom for 10 minutes.
I feel so horrible. It's a sinking feeling. To make someone cry or yell because of you. it makes me want to give up, but I won't, I don't really have that choice lol
I just wish I could do better, I've said it so many times but I just want people to leave me feeling good about themselves. Feeling like they can conquer the world. It's just not happening as often as I'd like. It feels like people settle for me, and I hate it. I've only been out of school for 2 months but still. I can tell my coworkers look down on me too, because I'm not even 20 yet, and they're all so much older than me. They see me as immature, lazy, etc. I don't know why. I just try to be super friendly and maybe that comes off some way. blah blah I'm rambling now.
I just can't wait until idk, I make stranger after stranger consistently happy.
