i just want to help

[ive_been_where_you_r]

i found this website from signing petitions because there was a petition to get this website banned. and i don't really know how i feel about it. because i'm coming from two different sides. one side i've been suicidal and i've self harmed, and i understand when your in the state of mind that the comfort of having someone to talk to who understand what your going through and how important it is, and also being able to here other ppls stories and advise. now the other side of me is like, well it makes sense why ppl want this website gone. because reading all of these now that i'm "better", is just weird i guess. your emotions are completely valid, and it's an amazing thing to have a safe space to say whatever you want and not have ppl judge you. i'm not trying to judge you, i can just see both sides. i remember when i was at my (almost) lowest i would find random apps to talk to ppl on becuz i felt so alone, i would have loved to have this then. but i also worry what i would have done if i had. i'm so glad i didn't take my life and i want to do as much as i can to stop other ppl from doing that. there's so much out there in the world that you haven't seen yet, and although it may feel like it'll never get better or you'll be like this forever i promise you, it won't. now you probly won't just wake up and be the person you want to be, but over time it will come. i'm not we're i want to be right now, and that's ok. becuz i know that if i rlly tried i could. i also know that it isn't easy, i know that very well. me personally, when i was at my lowest and suicidal, i didn't want to die necessarily. i just wanted the pain, and empty numb feeling to go away. i actually have a fear of death, so me being suicidal came as a shock to most ppl who found out lol. i can't speak for you, but i can assume that you don't want to die, you just don't want to feel/be the way you are right now. (also i'm sorry if i assumed wrong, or you feel offended by everything i've said that isnt my goal) so pls reply to this with your reason(s) for why u want to commit suicide and i will try to reply to as many of them as i can to help you and give you reasons to stay. i'm not a therapist or anything so i can't promise that i'll have the best response, but i'll do my best.

 

[Pryras]

You've been there and I'm glad you were able to recover from it. Although It's also important to understand that you cannot truly understand someone's pain to where you believe that they shouldn't CTB. For some of us, life won't get better with time and it's our own choice wether we want to go through that or not.

I believe any reason is a justified one, and no amount of "convincing" Is going to change my mind. You are not me, and you cannot feel what I feel or trivialize my experience.

Btw, I reached out to a user on here and after a conversation over the phone he decided not to attempt suicide and try pushing through with life. I never trivialized his experience in the process but just offered some alternatives to try first. Sometimes the best way to help others is to listen.

 

[ive_been_where_you_r]

You've been there and I'm glad you were able to recover from it. Although It's also important to understand that you cannot truly understand someone's pain to where you believe that they shouldn't CTB. For some of us, life won't get better with time and it's our own choice wether we want to go through that or not.

I believe any reason is a justified one, and no amount of "convincing" Is going to change my mind. You are not me, and you cannot feel what I feel or trivialize my experience.
Btw, I reached out to a user on here and after a conversation over the phone he decided not to attempt suicide and try pushing through with life. I never trivialized his experience in the process but just offered some alternatives to try first. Sometimes the best way to help others is to listen.

your completely right. there is no possible way i know exactly what you going through, and how your feeling. but if you don't mind me asking, why do you feel the CTB is your only option and that life will never get better? i want to help, and i'm here to listen. also i'm sorry but i don't know what trivialize means

 

[Pryras]

your completely right. there is no possible way i know exactly what you going through, and how your feeling. but if you don't mind me asking, why do you feel the CTB is your only option and that life will never get better? i want to help, and i'm here to listen. also i'm sorry but i don't know what trivialize means

Life could improve and it could get worse and I'm aware of that. I have good days and know that more are sure to come if I choose recovery. But, not everyone "wants" to recover, it's a shift in mindset that some of us won't / or can't make. I don't suffer from a debilitating mental disorder or am I deteriorating from a terminal illness but i don't need to explain myself to anyone or justify my choice in committing suicide because my "story" doesn't feel tragic enough.

 

[nerve]

Thank you for caring & you're probably going to be absolutely blasted for this post. That petition is a real sore spot around here.

Many of us have already been down the road of asking for help and talking about it for years and years and years. Statistically, it's more likely that someone will recover from a period of suicidal thoughts than that they won't, but that's not the case for a lot of the users, especially people who stick around for any length of time. There was a thread recently asking how long people have been suicidal, and answers upwards of 10 years weren't uncommon.

Again, I'm really happy that you managed to recover and thank you for giving a shit since a lot of people don't. Your efforts are probably better spent volunteering for a crisis line or talking to people on pro-life suicide boards.

 

[ive_been_where_you_r]

Life could improve and it could get worse and I'm aware of that. I have good days and know that more are sure to come if I choose recovery. But, not everyone "wants" to recover, it's a shift in mindset that some of us won't / or can't make. I don't suffer from a debilitating mental disorder or am I deteriorating from a terminal illness but i don't need to explain myself to anyone or justify my choice in committing suicide because my "story" doesn't feel tragic enough.

thank you. i understand at least a little bit better now. and i don't think at least there's a "scale" of tragic. something that's tragic to you might not be to me or vise versa. but it's ok if you don't want to share your story, and you don't need to justify to anyone if you don't want to. it's all your decision in the end, i just want to try and help ppl as much as i can, if i can. becuz i now understand that some ppl just can't be helped, and i'm very sorry to them. but there are still some ppl who can be helped and those ppl i would like to try and help. i might not actually help, but at least i tried?

Thank you for caring & you're probably going to be absolutely blasted for this post. That petition is a real sore spot around here.

Many of us here have already been down the road of asking for help and talking about it for years and years and years. Statistically, it's more likely that someone will recover from a period of suicidal thoughts than that they won't, but that's not the base for a lot of the userbase, especially as far as people who stick around for any length of time. There was a thread recently asking how long people have been suicidal, and answers upwards of 10 years weren't uncommon.

Again, I'm really happy that you managed to recover and thank you for giving a shit since a lot of people don't. Your efforts are probably better spent volunteering for a crisis line or talking to people on pro-life suicide boards.

thank you for replying. i don't think i could apply to those yet because of my age, but i can i will. i just joined today and i've already learned some things. and i know i can't save everyone, obviously, but i'd like to help anyone i can, if i can. i'd rather try then not do anything

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm not really interested in getting better, and I've never really cared for the opinions of other people on what I should do with my life. Whether or not I kill myself is my choice.

 

[Living sucks]

I'm dying of incurable illness so I can't be saved ... but I want to live with all my heart and soul.
Sad I can't trade places with those who wish for an incurable death sentence... it's brutal.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Sometimes we hope/wish that there are good things ahead and our lives will get better but there's just no way of knowing for sure. Yes, maybe things will get better but there's also a chance things get worse which only prolongs suffering. Death is only natural, it happens all the time. Not everyone can be saved and not everyone wants to be saved either. We just want to finally be at peace and be free from it all.

 

[ive_been_where_you_r]

I'm not really interested in getting better, and I've never really cared for the opinions of other people on what I should do with my life. Whether or not I kill myself is my choice.

thank you for replying. that's ok if you don't want help, and your right it is your choice. it's your life and you can do what you want with it, my goal is to help the ones who want it. but if you don't want it that's completely ok too

I'm dying of incurable illness so I can't be saved ... but I want to live with all my heart and soul.
Sad I can't trade places with those who wish for an incurable death sentence... it's brutal.

thank you for replying and i'm so sorry i can't even imagine what that's like. i wish there was more i could do for you.

 

[Living sucks]

Your post might be helpful in the recovery section. They want help

 

[Deleted member 17949]

thank you for replying. that's ok if you don't want help, and your right it is your choice. it's your life and you can do what you want with it, my goal is to help the ones who want it. but if you don't want it that's completely ok too

thank you for replying and i'm so sorry i can't even imagine what that's like. i wish there was more i could do for you.

I understand what you're doing but this probably belongs in the recovery section. Posts there are geared towards people that want to recover while the suicide discussion section is for the discussion of suicide methods and venting about suicidal thoughts. Your advice will do more good there where people are more receptive to the mindset of getting better.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I agree with the previous posts, the recovery section may be better place for you to post/hang out. I know personally that I would feel a bit frustrated at someone trying to help me by changing my mind about crib when I'm not looking to recover. It's good that you want to help so save all that energy and effort for those that want help.

 

[ive_been_where_you_r]

Sometimes we hope/wish that there are good things ahead and our lives will get better but there's just no way of knowing for sure. Yes, maybe things will get better but there's also a chance things get worse which only prolongs suffering. Death is only natural, it happens all the time. Not everyone can be saved and not everyone wants to be saved either. We just want to finally be at peace and be free from it all.

thank you for replying, and your right. i understand that not everyone can or wants to be saved. but i know that there are still some who can/ want to be and to them i would like

Your post might be helpful in the recovery section. They want help

ohh ok thank you
@cryptic__egg and @Maxtothemax thank you! is there a way to just move it to that section? or do i need make a new post in the recovery section

 

[Deleted member 19654]

thank you for replying, and your right. i understand that not everyone can or wants to be saved. but i know that there are still some who can/ want to be and to them i would like

ohh ok thank you
@cryptic__egg and @Maxtothemax thank you! is there a way to just move it to that section? or do i need make a new post in the recovery section

I think just copy and paste into a new post or just write a new one. Best of luck to you :)

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

although it may feel like it'll never get better or you'll be like this forever i promise you, it won't.

I'm curious to know, if you'd be willing to share...How can you possibly know for another that it won't remain the same, or get worse? What power do you have to make or keep such a promise?

I can't speak for you, but i can assume that you don't want to die, you just don't want to feel/be the way you are right now. (also i'm sorry if i assumed wrong

I can respectfully confirm that you assumed incorrectly. There are many threads in which people talk about how this assumption does not apply to them. It may help to do some in-depth reading of the site to learn more about those you feel compelled to impact according to what I perceive as your personal, and personally limited, wishes for them. This is not an unkind judgment, but an observation that I occasionally have to make about myself as well. One's intentions for others do not always reflect their actual needs or desires, but one's own.

i remember when i was at my (almost) lowest i would find random apps to talk to ppl on becuz i felt so alone, i would have loved to have this then. but i also worry what i would have done if i had.

Hmm, it seems a waste to worry about what's passed. Worry is about trying to control the future.

But I can tell you what I've observed since my first weeks on the forum, and have posted about many times.

When an idea is negated or repressed, it gains undue power. By facing it and working with it, it shrinks to a more appropriate size -- it may not go away, but it is no longer hyperbolically magnified. This then gives space for whatever may be underneath to arise which needs attention. Many people have amazing insights and revelations here going through such a process, and many choose to live. Some find that the choice to suicide is the most appropriate for them. SS is a space that allows for such a process to occur, without the element of being controlled or directed, and allowing members to experience self-determination, agency, empowerment, and choice. It does not always end in death. And it does not end with platitudes but authentic self-revelation.

Perhaps you could lobby for therapists to listen and encourage such processes, rather than repressing, denying, negating, and imprisoning those who seek their own freedom and free will. Just a suggestion, since you seem to want to do something proactive to help.




Finally, respectfully, I promise, you have not been where I am. I would not wish that on you. I've been far closer to where you are. Personally, I have been a co-dependent rescuer, and learned to focus on helping myself, and helping only where it is wanted, and to let go when it is not wanted or not received, or not used as I intended. I offer you a gift in return for the gifts you offer here; you may not want to receive it, and I accept that with no desire to push. It's your choice.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resources-for-learning-boundaries.30500/

I also offer you the perspectives in this thread to help broaden your perspective. Especially comment 7, which shows that you have not been where everyone here is. There are many rational reasons to suicide, regardless of age. You may not wish to read it. You came here with an offer to listen, but you may only be willing to listen to certain things. I accept that. For myself, I live to help and make a difference. Over the years, I noticed that when I enter an environment seeking to help and change, I end up learning and being impacted myself. I'm the one who needed education and help. Then if I still had something of value that was needed, the environment and those in it had taught me what they needed, not what I'd decided before I arrived. It was more reciprocal and beneficial for all, and I was appreciated rather than resented with the attitude of, "What the fuck do you know about this or about me?"

With sincere best wishes for your personal well-being, and for your own self-empowerment and ability to experience self-determination and self-control, without being controlled by others or trying to control them. It may not be what you wish for yourself, and I accept that, but as a result of my lived experience and personal growth, I believe would be an easier world if people sought and learned how to control themselves within the limitations they cannot control, and didn't chase the myth that they could determine and control the actions, experiences, and outcomes of others (no matter how young or old others are). The resources I shared on boundaries reflect this.

 

[JD8080]

I myself feel as though I have looked and asked for help numerous times just to be made a fool of . No one truly cares if I am dead or alive so trying to save me in any way isn't helping me

 

[rhiino]

Those people are the worst; the ones that once were suicidal, got better and then think that everybody that is suicidal can and will ultimately get better and wants that.
I can confirm you, as a matter of fact: Not everybody will get better. Not everybody even wants to get better. Getting better always means more suffering, as you have to endure more pain until you might get better sometime. Thus suicide is not solely about having a chance to get better, but also about the pain you have to endure until something changes, which is uncertain anyway. This is what makes suicide attractive for some people, the pain stops immediately. There is no other solution that does this.

I myself do not want to get better. It would mean enduring even more suffering, as I would have to fight dozens of problems that each make life unworthy for a long time, which is too much pain and needs too much energy that I do not have anymore.

 

[KleinerWolf]

i found this website from signing petitions because there was a petition to get this website banned. and i don't really know how i feel about it. because i'm coming from two different sides. one side i've been suicidal and i've self harmed, and i understand when your in the state of mind that the comfort of having someone to talk to who understand what your going through and how important it is, and also being able to here other ppls stories and advise. now the other side of me is like, well it makes sense why ppl want this website gone. because reading all of these now that i'm "better", is just weird i guess. your emotions are completely valid, and it's an amazing thing to have a safe space to say whatever you want and not have ppl judge you. i'm not trying to judge you, i can just see both sides. i remember when i was at my (almost) lowest i would find random apps to talk to ppl on becuz i felt so alone, i would have loved to have this then. but i also worry what i would have done if i had. i'm so glad i didn't take my life and i want to do as much as i can to stop other ppl from doing that. there's so much out there in the world that you haven't seen yet, and although it may feel like it'll never get better or you'll be like this forever i promise you, it won't. now you probly won't just wake up and be the person you want to be, but over time it will come. i'm not we're i want to be right now, and that's ok. becuz i know that if i rlly tried i could. i also know that it isn't easy, i know that very well. me personally, when i was at my lowest and suicidal, i didn't want to die necessarily. i just wanted the pain, and empty numb feeling to go away. i actually have a fear of death, so me being suicidal came as a shock to most ppl who found out lol. i can't speak for you, but i can assume that you don't want to die, you just don't want to feel/be the way you are right now. (also i'm sorry if i assumed wrong, or you feel offended by everything i've said that isnt my goal) so pls reply to this with your reason(s) for why u want to commit suicide and i will try to reply to as many of them as i can to help you and give you reasons to stay. i'm not a therapist or anything so i can't promise that i'll have the best response, but i'll do my best.

Thank you for being a kind soul darling, reaching out to people, as what you may have experienced yourself.
My problem is that I fail to meet my own expectation, congenital birth defects and people that don't necessarily understand me.
However as my motto says, I have commitment to myself, I try to stay positive as much as I can.
Positivity goes a long way, despite things are hard.

I urge everyone on the recovery page to stay positive, and make a commitment to yourself.
If anything that you prefer to have altered in life, go for it, step by step, you will reap great awards and get where you want in life.

Sending love to all of you.
and feel free to PM me if anyone ever wanna talk, I'm a good listener :)

 

[Brick In The Wall]

You're not the first member to join just to help others here. I've been messaged by a small handful of them before. I think it's commendable as long as you show respect and don't try to push some agenda. Best of luck to you OP.