I just want to go

[jussrav]

I just want to die and die like right now. I can't suffer like this. I have long covid this is my second time. First was for 20 months I get stabbing pains in my head, breathing issues. I can't sleep its been 6 weeks like this I have a pituitary tumour on my brain I wish would kill me. Sleep deprivation is the worst. I am literally struggling to live. Noone understands have a nap no its not that easy. My flat mate is in bed sleeping calmly I have been up four hours and its like I am being punished. I didnt take care of my mental health didnt go on holidays to rest and have end up worse. I suffer misery and stress everyday. What do I do

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

Well first thing you can try and do is attempt to get your body in a state where you can tolerate things easier, are there no medications you can access and use? I use regular over the counter ibuprofen for pain relief, even if it doesn't cut through all the discomfort it makes it so I can at least lay down when I'm having a bad night. I usually put on a comfort show or movie on very low volume, a volume level where it won't aggravate any headaches.

Next I make sure to have a nice cold glass of water near me to sip from, how cold you want it of course is up to you. Anything you can try to do to get any less uncomfortable will help you sleep.

Sorry if this sounds dumb, only advice I know.

 

[R_N]

I understand your sleep issues trust me. I have been dealing with them since the end of 2019. And we took the same med and stopped cold turkey.

Like I told you before it can get better at least somewhat but I suggest not taking anything so your brain can heal over time. Maybe melatonin only.

It is a slow process and takes time, I know it is horrible rn for you. Try to go to bed at the same time every night even if you don't feel like sleeping. And stay in bed until morning at least regardless if you wake up multiple times or can't fall asleep. Any rest is good.

And please don't panic because body is resilient and will get some micro sleeps to keep you going. I told you I was also in shock when it started but over time it gets better and you get used to it as well, body adapts.

You could also try to get on the same med again and slowly reduce the dosage every month until you get to 0. This is why I suggested you visit surviving antidepressants forum where people do this and it is easier to wean off meds that way. I wish I did this in the first place instead of stoping really fast and throwing my nervous system into hell.

I hope you can get some relief eventually. I really do because you have some other issues on top of this. You are a strong person being able to speak in such state. I am not religious but I will pray for you.

 

[AshClouds]

Sleep deprivation is the worst. I am literally struggling to live. Noone understands have a nap no its not that easy. My flat mate is in bed sleeping calmly I have been up four hours and its like I am being punished.

Have you tried using meletonin, diphenhydramine (such as ZzzQuil), or cannabis?
I used to use meletonin and ZzzQuil, but I'd build a tolerance and then temporarly switch to pain killers for a few days before going back to ZzzQuil. Also taking too much gave me a vomiting sensation. Now I use cannibus and it works really well.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly is such a hellish existence where people have to suffer so unbearably, it must be torturous feeling trapped in that situation but anyway I wish you the best, it's inhumane to me how it's purposely made so difficult for people to die despite all this suffering.

 

[jussrav]

Have you tried using meletonin, diphenhydramine (such as ZzzQuil), or cannabis?
I used to use meletonin and ZzzQuil, but I'd build a tolerance and then temporarly switch to pain killers for a few days before going back to ZzzQuil. Also taking too much gave me a vomiting sensation. Now I use cannibus and it works really well.

We don't have cannabis in uk legally