coolgal82
she/her, terminally silly :3
- Sep 10, 2024
- 489
yesterday was almost fine until randomly at like 10am my brain decided "no fuck you you're sad now go cut yourself idiot"
today was shaping up to be chill
then my bestie brought up The Bitch (as i shall refer to her) and now i've just been stuck in like a state of just rage and general shittiness for like an hour or two now?
idk whether to get drunk or high or hurt myself or a combo. possibly a combo.
i fucking hate it my brain just gets stupid over the TINIEST FUCKING SHIT i fucking hate myself im so fucking pathetic and worthless and im literally a fucking toddler like jesus fucking christ im 20 i should be better than this i already kinda blew up at an oomf on twitter (although not directly but kinda but idk) and started picking more fights i fucking despise myself so much why am i like this wtf is wrong with me
all i want is to know whats fucking wrong with me and fix it although im not even sure if it deserves to be fixed or can be or i need to just die. but either way its irrelevant because the nhs DONT FUCKING CARE i've tried reaching out and they just fucking redirect me 50 times or say i didnt do the right thing or ignore me its so fucking annoying. i wish there was a way i could like find the name of every person involved in this fucking shit and put them in my note and make sure it reaches them with a picture of my corpse i want them to feel fucking guilty i need them to fucking kill themselves over this shit i fucking hate them so fucking much. i wish i could do that to a fair few people. including The Bitch, but i doubt shed even fucking care, the heartless whore.
i think i'm just gonna go take a shower and bring my razor and half a bottle of malibu i cant fucking deal with this shit
today was shaping up to be chill
then my bestie brought up The Bitch (as i shall refer to her) and now i've just been stuck in like a state of just rage and general shittiness for like an hour or two now?
idk whether to get drunk or high or hurt myself or a combo. possibly a combo.
i fucking hate it my brain just gets stupid over the TINIEST FUCKING SHIT i fucking hate myself im so fucking pathetic and worthless and im literally a fucking toddler like jesus fucking christ im 20 i should be better than this i already kinda blew up at an oomf on twitter (although not directly but kinda but idk) and started picking more fights i fucking despise myself so much why am i like this wtf is wrong with me
all i want is to know whats fucking wrong with me and fix it although im not even sure if it deserves to be fixed or can be or i need to just die. but either way its irrelevant because the nhs DONT FUCKING CARE i've tried reaching out and they just fucking redirect me 50 times or say i didnt do the right thing or ignore me its so fucking annoying. i wish there was a way i could like find the name of every person involved in this fucking shit and put them in my note and make sure it reaches them with a picture of my corpse i want them to feel fucking guilty i need them to fucking kill themselves over this shit i fucking hate them so fucking much. i wish i could do that to a fair few people. including The Bitch, but i doubt shed even fucking care, the heartless whore.
i think i'm just gonna go take a shower and bring my razor and half a bottle of malibu i cant fucking deal with this shit
