Venting I just wanna sleep forever.

[Mustkeyknow]

I went out drinking with some friends last night, I can't believe how much alcohol affects me, I should stop drinking but it's only when I'm drinking that i feel that high, that lift, that happiness.

I just can't do this anymore, you're probably thinking I complain a lot and you might be right, but life is just unbearable at the moment, I wake up and I don't wanna wake up, I wanna go back to sleep cause it's only when I'm sleeping that I don't feel like shit.

I went back with my uber successful girlfriend and I just- can't. I'm so alone even when I'm with her, she leaves and I'm back to misery. I can't keep up with her I can't keep up with no one. I am so done. What am I supposed to do? Start over? Do things right this time around? I'm so late. I'm so tired, I'm so done, I'm so alone :(

The marks in my arms are just a reminder that I should just better finish the job and end it all. My poor parents, they've worked so hard and I blew it all away. I was always a spoiled brat, I never once worked hard for anything and it shows. My only shot at life and I failed, I could cry but my meds won't let me. But the feeling is there.

I think, I think my time is approaching. Another goodbye thread. There are no do overs in life. I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad, I didn't know better at the time. Now everything is so fucked up, I feel like I can't breathe.

I just wanna sleep forever.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

What do you mean the meds won't let you cry? is it the numbness? I can relate but for me its not the meds but something else entirely. I literally can't cry anymore. I could see a family member die a gruesome death and it wouldn't draw a single tear from my eyes...I lost all my feeling over night. My ordeal is that I don't care enough to even ctb anymore because there's no drive or ambition manifested in any sort of feeling since feeling doesn't exist for me. You could offer me 1,000$ to cry and I wouldn't be able to do it.

 

[Ulisses]

I'm fucked just like you. without goals, ambition, stagnant in life, without a direction. I just want to sleep and not wake up.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I went out drinking with some friends last night, I can't believe how much alcohol affects me, I should stop drinking but it's only when I'm drinking that i feel that high, that lift, that happiness.

I just can't do this anymore, you're probably thinking I complain a lot and you might be right, but life is just unbearable at the moment, I wake up and I don't wanna wake up, I wanna go back to sleep cause it's only when I'm sleeping that I don't feel like shit.

I went back with my uber successful girlfriend and I just- can't. I'm so alone even when I'm with her, she leaves and I'm back to misery. I can't keep up with her I can't keep up with no one. I am so done. What am I supposed to do? Start over? Do things right this time around? I'm so late. I'm so tired, I'm so done, I'm so alone :(

The marks in my arms are just a reminder that I should just better finish the job and end it all. My poor parents, they've worked so hard and I blew it all away. I was always a spoiled brat, I never once worked hard for anything and it shows. My only shot at life and I failed, I could cry but my meds won't let me. But the feeling is there.

I think, I think my time is approaching. Another goodbye thread. There are no do overs in life. I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad, I didn't know better at the time. Now everything is so fucked up, I feel like I can't breathe.

I just wanna sleep forever.

Sorry you are going through this. I wanna sleep forever as well. I hope you can find peace.

 

[faust]

Sorry, mate, you are living with this.
Alcohol is kinda distracting you for a moment, but then everything returns.
I hope your struggles will end no matter what your decision is.
Wish you a good luck in whatever you do!

 

[porfin1234]

This really speaks to me. I'm in the same boat as you. Sending hugs.

 

[Death.]

All suffering in life is caused by birth. Your parents were wholly responsible for giving birth to you. The source of your pain is your mother's womb.

You cannot experience pain if you don't exist.