Venting I just wanna die but im to scared

[Serio]

Lately I've just been crying a lot more my dad wants me to fix him abd tells me how he needs me and im trying to be there for him cause he has depression wnd stuff im trying to help my mom and my brother because shes now wlxholic and my brother keeps getting on drugs and he looks horrible one of the only ppl i thought were my friends actually 2 betrayed me this year so I had to break off from both of them and i like dont have any friends I remember my cousin and they are changing so much and I wwnt to helo them to because they are going crazy and everyone else has already given up ob them both sides of my family have always been falling apart and depression and anxiety runs through it ik one guy hung themself and I just feel done with everything but at thr same time I'm to scared to die so I'm just really upset I want to die so bad so I dont know why I just can't do it im failing at school bc I can't get the motivation to do any of my schoolwork im alrwdy gonna be 19 when I graduate so if I fail another grade its just gonna be worse and I feel like I won't be successful in life wnd im trying to maybe do art maybe because that's alk I have motivation for but at some times im eveb to tired for that I had to quit my one job because I attempted suicide and I'm so stressed

 

[TheGoodGuy]

What exactly are you afraid of about death? The possible pain or religious reasons?

If it´s because you are worried about what comes after then this video might give some comfort, also I made a thread about how death most likely will be like which is pretty much what Alan Watts talks about in the video I linked so here is the link for my thread

 

[Serio]

What exactly are you afraid of about death? The possible pain or religious reasons?

If it´s because you are worried about what comes after then this video might give some comfort, also I made a thread about how death most likely will be like which is pretty much what Alan Watts talks about in the video I linked so here is the link for my thread

I'm afraid of the affect it will have on my dad and I'm afraid of pain or failing and becoming a vegetable or being paralyzed thank you tho im checking out video

 

[Yomyom]

What exactly are you afraid of about death? The possible pain or religious reasons?

If it´s because you are worried about what comes after then this video might give some comfort, also I made a thread about how death most likely will be like which is pretty much what Alan Watts talks about in the video I linked so here is the link for my thread

Alan Watts is the best!

 

[Serio]

Alan Watts is the best!

That makes a lot of sense actually with how they compared it with being born it honestly does help me be less scared for that issue

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I'm afraid of the affect it will have on my dad and I'm afraid of pain or failing and becoming a vegetable or being paralyzed thank you tho im checking out video

Yeah I have struggled with the thoughts of how my suicide will ruin my parents lives, but remember "no one never asked to be born so everyone have the right to die" this is the logical way of thinking but of course I know it is hard to overcome the love we have for our parents.

And I can see how you are afraid of the other things, what is your method? Recently I consider 9mm handgun to the temple in the middle of the night on a secluded area so I won´t be "saved" so it´s the pain aspect that lingers plus some other things I won´t share, I also strongly consider partial hanging almost a 50/50 between handgun or partial hanging so I get the not wanna be found and become a vegetable.

 

[Serio]

Yeah I have struggled with the thoughts of how my suicide will ruin my parents lives, but remember "no one never asked to be born so everyone have the right to die" this is the logical way of thinking but of course I know it is hard to overcome the love we have for our parents.

And I can see how you are afraid of the other things, what is your method? Recently I consider 9mm handgun to the temple in the middle of the night on a secluded area so I won´t be "saved" so it´s the pain aspect that lingers plus some other things I won´t share, I also strongly consider partial hanging almost a 50/50 between handgun or partial hanging so I get the not wanna be found and become a vegetable.

I have honestly thought about SN I can't afford a gun or I have thiught about going in front of a train and maybe tying my arm or something to the tracks so I can't chicken out basically

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I have honestly thought about SN I can't afford a gun or I have thiught about going in front of a train and maybe tying my arm or something to the tracks so I can't chicken out basically

Personally and this is just my opinion I don´t like SN I feel like it´s broscience only shared on this site there are no studies or videos about people OD´ing or talking about the experience to me it´s just broscience I would never use it only as a last resort.

And for the train if you´re gonna use this method use train decapitation it´s foolproof like a guilotine; jumping in front of a train or car is a gamble don´t do that I don´t like people suffering so if you have the courage train decapitation is in my experience 100% foolproof I have never seen it fail and the speed doesn´t even matter because of the mass of the train.