yawasimas
Drowned in my thoughts.
- Apr 7, 2023
- 15
I'm around here for... maybe, a year now.
Always searching for some interesting storys and people who could relate to them.
4 years ago, I started having severe panic attacks every night and during the day when was alone at home. I believe that is one of the things that probably brought me where I am now; finally diagnosed with OCD and trying to dig things out.
I usually talk a lot about myself (don't make me comfortable either) since I don't have a lot of social skills, but there's one thing that I never opened about to anyone, and I think this place might be the one where I can start!
I like reading about how and why you want to kill yourself. Why predators molest children and how it affects them. Why bullies do what they do and what led them to where they are.
It never maked me laugh, judge, either did not seemed to be negatively affected about it. I just like to thing that, somehow, it could make me be even closer to people. Or, at least, make me someone better.
I used to believe that I was very open minded; that I always loved to meet new people and talk about everything, when, in fact, I was trying to control what they were thinking and feeling about me based only in my own head. My own thoughts, my own feelings, my own beliefs.
Because I was scared of being rejected.
I don't know how to listen to people, but I tried to help them when I was able to do something. Even if it was just one message.
I don't believe I do these things 'cause I wanna feel better about myself (and I never did, which kinda do makes me feel good) — maybe just have somone who could spend the same amount of energy trying to do the same for me. The funny thing is that I hardly get attached.
Gosh, I'm extremely lonely ._.
Now, even though I did vented a little ('cause i didn't knew how to put that in just 2 lines without sounding VERY creepy), it's a discussion because I wanna know what do YOU think about it.
Of course, you can tell me anything. About your own experiences or how you relate to it (especially if it's an essay)!
Ps: Sorry if looks childish, i swear i'm 18; english just isn't my native language and i'm trying to get better >:( (not just english)
Always searching for some interesting storys and people who could relate to them.
4 years ago, I started having severe panic attacks every night and during the day when was alone at home. I believe that is one of the things that probably brought me where I am now; finally diagnosed with OCD and trying to dig things out.
I usually talk a lot about myself (don't make me comfortable either) since I don't have a lot of social skills, but there's one thing that I never opened about to anyone, and I think this place might be the one where I can start!
I like reading about how and why you want to kill yourself. Why predators molest children and how it affects them. Why bullies do what they do and what led them to where they are.
It never maked me laugh, judge, either did not seemed to be negatively affected about it. I just like to thing that, somehow, it could make me be even closer to people. Or, at least, make me someone better.
I used to believe that I was very open minded; that I always loved to meet new people and talk about everything, when, in fact, I was trying to control what they were thinking and feeling about me based only in my own head. My own thoughts, my own feelings, my own beliefs.
Because I was scared of being rejected.
I don't know how to listen to people, but I tried to help them when I was able to do something. Even if it was just one message.
I don't believe I do these things 'cause I wanna feel better about myself (and I never did, which kinda do makes me feel good) — maybe just have somone who could spend the same amount of energy trying to do the same for me. The funny thing is that I hardly get attached.
Gosh, I'm extremely lonely ._.
Now, even though I did vented a little ('cause i didn't knew how to put that in just 2 lines without sounding VERY creepy), it's a discussion because I wanna know what do YOU think about it.
Of course, you can tell me anything. About your own experiences or how you relate to it (especially if it's an essay)!
Ps: Sorry if looks childish, i swear i'm 18; english just isn't my native language and i'm trying to get better >:( (not just english)
