Same here, I feel like I'm overthinking things. I mean I have no problem with just sticking a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger, but the hardest part for me is obtaining and hiding it until I want to ctb. All it takes is some suspicion or things setting off red flags and I easily lose my way out (firearm), so that's why I'm rather anxious right now.
Things would be much easier if I lived alone (like over a year ago), but sadly I don't have a place where I live alone right now.