Venting i just have to die

[theEnemy]

i cant be normal in anyway. not like being "normal" normal, i dont care about it. please someone something take me away atp. why do i have to live? i cant really even understand pro-lifers. people around me are starting to realise i guess. i dont want it. i somehow want to be happy, but not really actually. all i want is to get rid of myself. there is nothing i really enjoy. just kill me atp. pleeeeeaseee
i dont want to heal. i just want to give in which i think i already did. threre is no way going back
wtf do i even want??
i am not a human at all anymore. have i ever been? idk really. i dont really like my friends, my hobbies. sometimes i think to myself that i wouldnt be able to give the love my lover would need. i hate myself. i deserve shit

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Sending you some love and kindness im not normal either, and frankly I dont want to be c

 

[chudcell]

Life is painful. Ceasing to exist would be peaceful.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Apartment filthy. Laundry piled up. Car filthy & AC broken. Losing weight rapidly cuz I don't eat. Job coming up I'm going to puss out of at the last minute, screwing people. Days wasted unshowered, doomscrolling. Dad who feeds me dinner going on vacation soon. It's time to make my exit.

Problems: partial hanging doesn't work, I have no pain tolerance, and I fear hell.

What is this nightmare