I just had, what I think was the final conversation of my life with someone I know IRL.

[zzld]

Spoke to the love of my life over text- or who I thought was the love of my life.
I'd been in a strange sort of affair relationship the past year. I was only ever happy with her.

She almost chose me, but I pushed for it too hard. My mental health issues were too much, i'm too much.

I'm kind of relieved she didn't choose me though. I've always been depressed, I've always wanted out. Would I really be able to come through on everything I would have promised her? Would I be happy doing it? I thought it would break my heart- but, realistically, I've known for months. My heart has been broken much longer than that.

I wish her and my family and those who will be negatively affected could be shielded from my passing- if I am successful. I can't live a life like mine for them though, I can't suffer through for them. They should understand. I hope one day they all will.

I've taken Meto intermittently all day and am fasting.

I've aquarium tested my SN.

There is no one to interrupt me for at least 72 hours.

I'm ready for bed.

I think I'll be ready tomorrow.

I have plenty of everything to reset if I choose not to.

I don't think it's necessary though, I think it's time.

I'll update tomorrow if anyone is interested.
Goodnight.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I wish you the best. May you find peace from this horrible world.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point. That's such a good analogy though- being a mine for other people. That's true I think- it's unfair for others to expect us to live like that. I hope you find peace.

 

[rozeske]

If you decide to go through it I wish you the best, either way I hope you find your peace

 

[Theresnoescape]

Good luck in whatever you decide, I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from your suffering, best wishes.

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

I'm so glad I never wanted a relationship, I observed all the misery caused by it in other peoples lives and lost interest.

I hope you can find peace.

 

[ceus]

All the best

 

[zzld]

Thank you all for the kind words.

For an update- Meto sort of stopped me from sleeping well. I was restless all night, but excited.
I still feel like this is what I need.
I've taken ibuprofen and more Meto, and I am mixing my SN. I'm hoping SI does not kick in.
I've been fasted for about 16 hours. I will take SN at 8:30 as per protocol.

I have a wether's original I just went and bought to get the salty taste out of my mouth, SN does not taste good.
(I'm not going to eat it all, just spit it out when im good)


If I live, i'll update you. But I sincerely hope it's impossible.

I've drank the SN. I was inpatient.

Thank you all.

 

[ceus]

Hey, I hope you're doing ok whatever that means for you in the moment, in this live or whatever comes after <3

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I hope everything went well for you

 

[evans]

hoping everything went well for you, and that you found peace however that may be.

 

[momzzld]

@zzld@we miss you. You finally did it. I hope you are at peace. We wish you chose differently. Everything hurts without you.

 

[Wackstar]

"momzzld" What am I looking at rn, is it op trolling us? or someone else who thought it would be funny to make an acc just to drop this reply? never thought sasu could have such a plot twist.

 

[Cucumberman]

@zzld@we miss you. You finally did it. I hope you are at peace. We wish you chose differently. Everything hurts without you.

Is this a troll?????

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

Is this a troll?????

I don't know why but someone suggested the OP is behind this. I guess suggesting they are still alive and playing a game? I believed it was real and I hope they are at peace.