Venting I just feel pathetic

[liluglibih]

I would blame my dumb bitch of a mother for not socialising me properly as a child but then again, she was a depressive recluse so I guess there is no one to blame..

Anyone else think that if one thing had been different in your life, you wouldn't be here(SS) now?

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I do.

My mother is practically ruining my life with her schizophrenia issues and my only support is my father.
If my family were normal, I wouldn't have to go through so many hardships and of course I wouldn't be here. (I'm suicidal for other reasons too, anyway)

 

[_Kaira_]

I would blame my dumb bitch of a mother for not socialising me properly as a child but then again, she was a depressive recluse so I guess there is no one to blame..

Anyone else think that if one thing had been different in your life, you wouldn't be here(SS) now?

You're not pathetic. I don't think any one thing can be blamed on a person. We underestimate the butterfly effect (although most of the time, these things are nothing small) sometimes I think. Some of us just end up on the sh*t end of it...

For me, I have a long list of the reasons(excuses?) I am the way I am now. I won't go into detail. I'm not at a point where I can think of myself any differently if things had gone differently. Would I still be nihilistic? Would I still be a semi antinatalist? I can't say for sure. If I removed all the negative interactions in my life, perhaps it wouldn't have caused a chain effect to cause myself further problems down the line. Who knows for sure?

God I wish I wasn't such a mess.

 

[liluglibih]

You're not pathetic. I don't think any one thing can be blamed on a person

I dunno.. this woman made my life hell as a kid, but yeah I guess there are many factors to consider in the grand scheme of things. All my negative interactions(major ones) start and end with my mother, I've never bothered with anyone after her, I just can't

Yes, I do.

My mother is practically ruining my life with her schizophrenia issues and my only support is my father.
If my family were normal, I wouldn't have to go through so many hardships and of course I wouldn't be here. (I'm suicidal for other reasons too, anyway)

That sucks. It's good that you have someone to share the burden(no offence) with though.. has she been sick for most of your life?

 

[_Kaira_]

I dunno.. this woman made my life hell as a kid, but yeah I guess there are many factors to consider in the grand scheme of things. All my negative interactions(major ones) start and end with my mother, I've never bothered with anyone after her, I just can't

I can relate. A detail I had not mentioned, was that I was abused by my family my whole life too (in all forms). They were the start, but certainly not the end of my problems. I don't find myself pathetic because I was born into a sh*tty and narcissistic household. I became pathetic when I tried to fill the damage they caused with people online who caused me more harm (predators), and at the time, I had believed those people loved me.

With that being said. I think those who have done us wrong also had people do them wrong in their life as well. After all, you said your mother is depressive reclusive? I can't say much about your situation, but I think society as a whole causes a cycle of pain and torment for a lot of people, some just wrongly choose a path that involves harming others. This is one of the fundamental flaws of humanity.

 

[liluglibih]

A detail I had not mentioned, was that I was abused by my family my whole life too (in all forms). They were the start, but certainly not the end of my problems. I don't find myself pathetic because I was born into a sh*tty and narcissistic household. I became pathetic when I tried to fill the damage they caused with people online who caused me more harm (predators), and at the time, I had believed those people loved me.

I'm sorry that happened to you.
I call myself pathetic because I'm just terrified of doing anything. I just sit in a room all day, it's like I've imprisoned myself. I don't know how to get out of this

With that being said. I think those who have done us wrong also had people do them wrong in their life as well

Yeah it's just one big shitty cycle.

 

[_Kaira_]

I'm sorry that happened to you.
I call myself pathetic because I'm just terrified of doing anything. I just sit in a room all day, it's like I've imprisoned myself. I don't know how to get out of this



Yeah it's just one big shitty cycle.

All of us are here for a reason, don't be sorry.

Trust me, friend. I more or less do the same thing. A couple months ago, I just laid in bed, and I was content with rotting away. I still am, however, I am quite literally being forced to do stuff by those I'm living with. I want nothing more to shut myself in a room, hide from everyone in the world and responsibility that's expected out of me. I'd be so much happier not having to deal with anyone, and anything. Trust me, there's a lot who feel the same way, and feel trapped. You aren't alone in your pain, I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[TheBlackSwordsman]

I would blame my dumb bitch of a mother for not socialising me properly as a child but then again, she was a depressive recluse so I guess there is no one to blame..

Anyone else think that if one thing had been different in your life, you wouldn't be here(SS) now?

Yep. I guess I will never know for sure, but everything else being equal, there is one thing that I truly believe had it been different, my life would have turned out better.

 

[Cherrypea]

If my mum had never met my stepdad. I was doomed from the age of 3.

 

[Weary Soul]

Very much so.

<3