NSFW I interact with an autassassinophilia blog. I want to ask him for help dying

[nomoredolor]

Cw I'm a fucked up person and I'm thinking "out loud"

I've been talking with someone on an autassassinophilia blog. He wants to unalive me and I want to die. I know he may torture me first but I'm okay with suffering. My bigger fear would be being sold into sex trafficking or something.

I'm more likely to do it myself but lately been doing more than just fantasizing, been actually considering it and drafting messages.

I feel like my death will fix everything for me but otherwise will serve no purpose other than to hurt my friends and family. If someone I like gets pleasure from it then it feels like my death is worth more. I mean ideally my body would save someone's life but since that's not an option..

And I can make arrangements with him to just go missing "while traveling" and not be found.

Now that I'm thinking of ways my death could help others maybe I could email news outlets or something that I am committing suicide to protest the war in Palestine. Scheduled send but that also carries risks.

Middle of the night high thoughts. I know the "hit man" concept is a bad idea

Anna

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Trying to become a "martyr" is the worst decision for a peaceful passing. Nobody will care about it in the end! It's only about you and your own personal decision and that has to be as peaceful as it can be for you not for anyone else. Really sorry you have to consider such ways to leave.

You're not a fucked up person. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Please be so careful. I can't really comment if masochism is your thing. It's up to you but maybe consider the type of person you might be helping out doing sonething like this. If they're a wannabe serial killer, you'll be giving them a real taste of it. Is that really a good thing?