Venting I hurt people and hate it

[Serio]

I'm such a horrible person I just always hurt people.. at this point I want to isolate for peoples own sake not like they would even care or notice if I did anyways because I'm a fucking loser but when I'm around people I always hurt them because I'm reckless and my suicidal thoughts and it makes me hate myself so much fucking more I don't understand why I can't just be fucking normal I feel so fucking done and fucking horrible my head it still feels like it's burning and it won't fucking stop I want it to stop everything hurts I think I'm going to start skipping study hall and lunch at school to avoid seeing my "friend"? Idek if they are my friend I don't anything but people would be happier if they were not around me I know that atleast or if I wasn't here it's such a shitty fucking cycle IM SUICIDAL SO I HURT PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM WORRIED WHICH JUST MAKES ME MORE FUCKING SUICIDAL AND ITS A FUCKING BULLSHIT CYCLE it's been almost maybe 5 years now since I've been in pain

 

[noxin]

I'm so sorry OP. I'm not too good at offering words of comfort but I just want you to know that I feel the exact same way you do and I understand that pain. I wish I could help take it all away.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I can relate to everything you feel. My heart aches for all people on this site, some of them that I spoke to already gone. I wish I could take it all away

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I also feel done with life. I can imagine it must be an awful feeling knowing you are hurting others. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[ScaredToLive]

I'm such a horrible person I just always hurt people.. at this point I want to isolate for peoples own sake not like they would even care or notice if I did anyways because I'm a fucking loser but when I'm around people I always hurt them because I'm reckless and my suicidal thoughts and it makes me hate myself so much fucking more I don't understand why I can't just be fucking normal I feel so fucking done and fucking horrible my head it still feels like it's burning and it won't fucking stop I want it to stop everything hurts I think I'm going to start skipping study hall and lunch at school to avoid seeing my "friend"? Idek if they are my friend I don't anything but people would be happier if they were not around me I know that atleast or if I wasn't here it's such a shitty fucking cycle IM SUICIDAL SO I HURT PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM WORRIED WHICH JUST MAKES ME MORE FUCKING SUICIDAL AND ITS A FUCKING BULLSHIT CYCLE it's been almost maybe 5 years now since I've been in pain

It's not your fault you're suicidal, not at all. You wouldn't blame anyone who broke their leg, it's the same deal. There isn't a way to change your brain. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Most people who hurt people don't care and you clearly care so you are a good person