Venting I hope my birthday doesn’t come!!

[spoiledberry]

Im a Junior home from college and have been for a few weeks after a particularly bad day when I scared all my roommates into thinking I was going to attempt again(not on purpose I still feel awful about it). I came to the conclusion that I don't want to go back to that apartment or that school because I hate it and I've always hated it (my roommates are nice I just hate the place) but my parents keep forcing me to go cuz it's a well known school. The thing is…I can finish my degree online and I want to just do ish my last year at home. But my parents keep trying to force me to go back because they want me to have this stupid mythical "college life" that does not fucking exist. I got SA'd my first year, had a kleptomaniac roommate steal and break my stuff and I just never liked that place and have constantly been begging my parents to like me take a semester off or do a year online but they refuse. Cuz they weren't able to have that they keep saying it's what they want for me but I don't fucking want it. I've tried but I can't do it anymore and I'm moving home whether they like it or not. I cannot do another year I just can't do it. I'm supposed to be going back to school on my birthday and the thought of going back is enough to make me nauseous and panic. I've started a new medication a few weeks ago and haven't thought about ctb in a while but I think if I'm forced to go back on my birthday it'll seriously send me back into a dark place.

TL;DR college sucks and my parents suck and I wanna stay young forever!!!!!! :p

Thanks for reading<3