Venting I haven't made thread today so I am

[seafarer]

Basically I am well.aware I'm posting alot these last few.months with maybe longer than normal for even me post and with worse typos. I seem to be a bit manic. Considering in surrently on 500ml.of methadone 40mg atleast of valium and 45mg of zopiclone I was.hopeing to be asleep right now and not a total nutter on this forum. So apologies if I offend or go a bit over the top in some replies to people's posts I'm try my best to keep it on topic and the length thing is just normal for me I tend to think in a constant stream of words which make it hard to think every time so I try eversecond even when pumped full of supossed downers to try to get my message across. With with humer or mainly just basic facts. Something I like to call asperger mode,where.injust concentrate solely on the question. If you look at my.post history you will realise this isn't too successful. So I thought I might as well fill you all in with a rough idea what's it's like for me. With today being even more crazy for no paeticular reason accept I have actually had answers to the posts rather than just adding total drivel. But hopefully I bring the odd small to one of our uses atleast once a day.

Thanks for reading sorry for the mad posts x
Proof proven.ot had taken.me.longer to edit all the spelling.istakes and still auto correct on thismpost than it did to write it. I should really use the laptop in stead is YouTube videos. So anyone of read that before the edit you deserve a medal

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

sounds similar to my train of thought when manic. mania doesn't make the suicidal go away as much as makes me want to plan, if not act on, it more.

 

[Jean4]

We have all been there. Type away!!!

 

[seafarer]

I apparentl don't suffer from.binpolarnornwhatever name they are using now,this is actually.more my base lever it is just normally I am not in the mood to reply and interest too much. Difference I guess is I don't go outside my room from midday Friday till 8am Monday, so I guess it's a little cabin fever and it will soon pass or hooefully I'll passoutn I think the megamdeug contailnim on is starting to win but saying that in a few minutes I could be on Crazy train to lollipop land before I even realise it.

Thanks for the words . It's a strange day when you realise you actually have no real friends and apart from 3 family are all alone. I would have don't it by now of it wasn't for dead dying.

I was so distant from family about 5 years ago at time of overdose I spent 3 full days in hospital and the about 3 and half in mental.hospital and nobody even noticed,not even the land pansy whilo lives connected.to.my flat lol. Keep in mine I hadn't left my room.fot.almost 6.months so I wasn't cause of them neglecting.me it was.moremmemjust being an asshole and always cancelling at last.momwnt saying I felt ill which to a.point I'd true. My doctor had even started calling me every few weeks to check on mule as.he knew it was hard for me to go outside. Like yesterday I called.doctors and.they said we have new system where you no long phone at 8am and.try to book.in you can call until.1pm and still get seem. I replied I was told.to.make a.medical.rwview with my doctor as he's only one I have seen in.least.8 years and her reply was we can do the now as it just you see what ver doctor.is available I explained he asked for me to see him for.reviee she said I can make appoinylt ment with another doc or if it's.onky a review we now recommend that you carry this out with a.phatmacist unsteady of a doctor. Sininrepmied that makes no.sense as she has no use of the treatment I have been getting and the reason why. I asked if yollthey could issue new prescriptions if needed but never got a plain answer. So that was the new doctor shortage solution I expect and once this had been a successful trial which they always are because the fudge the numbers so that their nremmoth looks great but it's mathematical.trickery, example the get 20 replies and one was uncertain it made any difference,the just disregard all bad ones then cuz it's out of 100% the just miltiplay the 20 by 5 Nd the paper article reads new doctors trial success 95% said.they fournd it much easier and lessmrime.somsuming and dress fulnwhilile that 1 gutnis now 5% of people saying that they didn't really notice.much difference when compared to the old system nnand that's what people read

I mowmit sounds.imoittle.tinmhat nit there ismlowdsmof documentednpeoofmof drug companies using human trial.date tommakena 4 % increae sound like it's 80.% sure yo7 will live.longwr with Thier drug for thenheart but if you work the study back andmlook at the results utninlt achieved lessnt-@! 4% success more when compared with the placebo group ..that's why adverts for drugs are banned in the UK as the lies are crazt and sneaky when worked out. Ok long long rant over. Thanks everyone for indulgin.me

 

[Jean4]

No worries. You have more than your 3 family members. You have all of us here! We are your family to!

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

It's a strange day when you realise you actually have no real friends and apart from 3 family are all alone

I can relate so much to this part of your post. It really sucks and I'm sorry you're going through this. Life wasn't meant to be lived alone.... its freakin lonely! haha

I isolated myself from all my friends over the years except my very best friend, who was like my sister for over 30 years. One day she picked a fight with me over something stupid, and basically said she'd been talking shit about me behind my back for some time. Thanks bestie.... wanna remove that knife from my back on your way out? Friend count now = 0.

Gahhh. People suck. I only trust my dogs. ;)

 

[seafarer]

Have sever social phobia so actually feel woeke around people one person income tolerate for a few hour,the even includes mother and that's why I moved in somewhere alone so I can see her for a few hours then lean but if it's more than one person my tolerance exponentially does down and I got irritable,quiet and just look unhappy Nd it's unfair to others asninbrintlg the vibe down fastand with Asperger's and being alone slot I spend 12 hours a day on computer looking up facts and just general information,so when I hear people talking crap as the usually do I just can't help myself. Which in turn causes problems and makes me worse so it's the lesser of 2 evils bei

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

unless I want to pay for Uber I don't have a chance to go out and socialize so it's me and the 3 family members I live with who aren't the best of people. it really sucks not having friends.