I have to go tomorrow

[Rsuicidal]

I have my method and I thought I would today but Im out of time now ill have time tommorrow. Please give me the strength to leave I ruined my life bad bad I am just not ok to stay on this earth and no matter what I do to get better it gets worse again. I got scared and went back to bed today but I need to go tomorrow I cant fail and everyone will be better if I go.
I am scared to die but more scared to live out my crappy life anymore Ive really gone too far everyone leaves eventually so I know I will end up without anyone anyways so please dont tell me to reach out. I reached out before and so many times it was hospital or police or friends left and there is no point to trying to heal this anymore.
Best I end my blood line best I leave everyone thinking I had so much potential than leaving me to become a sick sad bitter mess. I am so negtive he cant stand me anymore and there is nothing I can do. I feel too much shame it is best I go. I dont have any money to leave anyone to deal with me when I am gone I am so sad I cant help with that.

Just would love if someone would help so I know I am goingb to help everyone in my life by not being here anymore. Actually I know this but just actually doing it when I am alone tomorrow just something I dont know what I need just no more hospital no more of the bad system and pills endless help isnt working for so many years.

 

[First loss]

Good luck. I hope you go painlessly and peacefully.

What method will you be using?

 

[Vaughn]

I suggest you find zome peaceful time to review your desires for death. Take is slow and plan better if that needs to happen. Because deAth is for a long time ok ?

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

With all due respect, fuck everyone else in your life. If you want to die now, then make it happen for your own sake. Conversely, if you don't want to die yet, then never mind making things "easier" for everyone else. It's your life. It's your choice.

 

[Rsuicidal]

I suggest you find zome peaceful time to review your desires for death. Take is slow and plan better if that needs to happen. Because deAth is for a long time ok ?

I only have tomorrow as guaranteed alone time. If Im caught everything is bad again.

 

[Rsuicidal]

With all due respect, fuck everyone else in your life. If you want to die now, then make it happen for your own sake. Conversely, if you don't want to die yet, then never mind making things "easier" for everyone else. It's your life. It's your choice.

My partner got very angry when I was in hospital for an overdose, if he finds me again and I didnt die I will be in shit. I think I scared him bad. I dont want him to be without me but still I feel he will leave me eventually anyways as anyone else has gotten sick of me.
I have to go soon or I move and wont know when Ill have alone time and be prepped for this again. Taking pills was easy but didnt work I wish there were pills that worked.
This time is different I know this will do it. Im so scared Ill have to reincarnate I want out out out for sure and even this doesnt feel sure

 

[Kingkelly]

Best of luck I was going to go today but changed mind now I'm out of time and wish I would have but I need benzos for sn. Life is fucked

 

[Rsuicidal]

Something knew I was prepping to go got a call and now people are upstairs what the hell I would have been alone today it was planned now its gone what happened i cant believe it I was going to be gone and at peace Im so fucked this is fucked

 

[Pepega]

I have my method and I thought I would today but Im out of time now ill have time tommorrow. Please give me the strength to leave I ruined my life bad bad I am just not ok to stay on this earth and no matter what I do to get better it gets worse again. I got scared and went back to bed today but I need to go tomorrow I cant fail and everyone will be better if I go.
I am scared to die but more scared to live out my crappy life anymore Ive really gone too far everyone leaves eventually so I know I will end up without anyone anyways so please dont tell me to reach out. I reached out before and so many times it was hospital or police or friends left and there is no point to trying to heal this anymore.
Best I end my blood line best I leave everyone thinking I had so much potential than leaving me to become a sick sad bitter mess. I am so negtive he cant stand me anymore and there is nothing I can do. I feel too much shame it is best I go. I dont have any money to leave anyone to deal with me when I am gone I am so sad I cant help with that.

Just would love if someone would help so I know I am goingb to help everyone in my life by not being here anymore. Actually I know this but just actually doing it when I am alone tomorrow just something I dont know what I need just no more hospital no more of the bad system and pills endless help isnt working for so many years.

I feel the same, maybe you could try to survive for a little longer, maybe your boyfriend really loves you and never gonna leave you, I'm surprised he didn't go away even if you are negative all the time and tried to kill yourself once

 

[Kingkelly]

My husband just left will b gone for a few hrs I'm taking the sn now

 

[Suicide_friend]

Hi, Kelly, did you take the medicines to avoid pain? I hope it be peacefull, hugs!

 

[herstory]

I have my method and I thought I would today but Im out of time now ill have time tommorrow. Please give me the strength to leave I ruined my life bad bad I am just not ok to stay on this earth and no matter what I do to get better it gets worse again. I got scared and went back to bed today but I need to go tomorrow I cant fail and everyone will be better if I go.
I am scared to die but more scared to live out my crappy life anymore Ive really gone too far everyone leaves eventually so I know I will end up without anyone anyways so please dont tell me to reach out. I reached out before and so many times it was hospital or police or friends left and there is no point to trying to heal this anymore.
Best I end my blood line best I leave everyone thinking I had so much potential than leaving me to become a sick sad bitter mess. I am so negtive he cant stand me anymore and there is nothing I can do. I feel too much shame it is best I go. I dont have any money to leave anyone to deal with me when I am gone I am so sad I cant help with that.

Just would love if someone would help so I know I am goingb to help everyone in my life by not being here anymore. Actually I know this but just actually doing it when I am alone tomorrow just something I dont know what I need just no more hospital no more of the bad system and pills endless help isnt working for so many years.

Where do you live?

 

[Kim]

My husband just left will b gone for a few hrs I'm taking the sn now

I hope you found peace <3

 

[Rsuicidal]

Ive watched videos of survivors and deaths today cried a bunch so messed up. A lot of panic trying to desensitise myself to this isnt working, planning doesnt work, impulse doesnt work because Im scared Ill be found and someone will call an ambulance I never know when neighbors are around fuck
I cant keep living I am a shit human why didnt I just get this over with today why do I research for years and cannot go through with anything.
Ive tried for years veering between gettibg better and worse and now fuck fuck fuck.
This isnt ok I wanted to go so bad why am I trapped here my life is shit I know it is best to go. Only reincarnation scares me because my punishment willl be more pain
Never seeing anyone, hurting everyone, having nothing to leave having accomplished nothing, Ive never once managed anything nice and normal I am such a fuckup no wonder I ruined this.
I need to regroup and see if there is any time I have alone next week
Why cant I get over death is beyond me

 

[wanttodie]

My husband just left will b gone for a few hrs I'm taking the sn now

good luck

 

[Rsuicidal]

My husband just left will b gone for a few hrs I'm taking the sn now

I hope you find what youre looking for

 

[Dead_Inside]

You are going to be ok. I know it's scary. I know life is the worst choice you can imagine being left with. If you have been prescribed anything for anxiety take that.
I send you all the luck I have to give... you will find your peace. You won't be alone... you have all of us with you. And all who have passed waiting for you. It's the one thing other than birth we all will share- death. So don't fear- we are all going with you.

 

[Jenna]

@Rsuicidal and @Kingkelly I hope you both are ok. Thinking about both of you.