![Sheeanabrugh](/data/avatars/l/97/97965.jpg?1724119982)
Sheeanabrugh
Tired and in pain
- Aug 19, 2024
- 17
Isn't it fucking crazy? You spend your entire childhood suicidal because you have a shitty life and you spend your first couple adult years unpacking and? You're happy for a minute. Like a solid year. Then uh oh, you start noticing minor aches and pains in your joints you never did before. And you think nothing of it, Oh well. Life is still okay.
But it just keeps getting worse and nothing any of my doctors do helps anything. I used to have hobbies man. I used to live a fucking life that wasn't going to work struggling through the day of work unless you have sick time, Going home and lying in bed. God I havent left the fucking house in so long outside of work. Even then it's a struggle. I used to have hobbies. I used to do things. Now I rot. How is this fair?
I don't even want to be dead. I want to not be in pain. I want my life back. I want to experience young adulthood like you're supposed to. I finally got my heart problems under control, And I was so proud but I can't fucking do anything anymore. I don't want to end up in a wheelchair I want to know why I feel like this day in and day out.
I don't have hope anymore. Delusions, Yes. Sometimes I daydream That I'm suddenly all better and I do like normal adult shit. And then I remember that won't happen. My best case scenario is death. I hate feeling like I'm forced to ctb When I've got so much I would have lived for if I was able bodied. But I'm not, And I can't live in fairyland.
God I sound pathetic.
But it just keeps getting worse and nothing any of my doctors do helps anything. I used to have hobbies man. I used to live a fucking life that wasn't going to work struggling through the day of work unless you have sick time, Going home and lying in bed. God I havent left the fucking house in so long outside of work. Even then it's a struggle. I used to have hobbies. I used to do things. Now I rot. How is this fair?
I don't even want to be dead. I want to not be in pain. I want my life back. I want to experience young adulthood like you're supposed to. I finally got my heart problems under control, And I was so proud but I can't fucking do anything anymore. I don't want to end up in a wheelchair I want to know why I feel like this day in and day out.
I don't have hope anymore. Delusions, Yes. Sometimes I daydream That I'm suddenly all better and I do like normal adult shit. And then I remember that won't happen. My best case scenario is death. I hate feeling like I'm forced to ctb When I've got so much I would have lived for if I was able bodied. But I'm not, And I can't live in fairyland.
God I sound pathetic.