Discussion I have SN in my hands right now

[klm]

so I got some SN a few days ago, and idk today has been really bad, I'm just tired of everything, so like 15 minutes ago I dissolved about 20 grams in the correct amount of water, and now I have the glass right beside me, but the survival instinct is so strong, my body wont let me drink it, idk what to do, also I cant fail again, because I literally just got out of the mental hospital like 4 days ago, so I'm just lost and everything hurts, any thoughts?

 

[esse_est_percipi]

so I got some SN a few days ago, and idk today has been really bad, I'm just tired of everything, so like 15 minutes ago I dissolved about 20 grams in the correct amount of water, and now I have the glass right beside me, but the survival instinct is so strong, my body wont let me drink it, idk what to do, also I cant fail again, because I literally just got out of the mental hospital like 4 days ago, so I'm just lost and everything hurts, any thoughts?

I obviously don't know anything about you or what you're going through, and I'm sorry things have got to this point for you.
It doesn't sound like you are ready right now, at this exact point in time. It sounds too spontaneous and the strong SI means that deep down you still have some hope things could improve for you.

Nobody here will actually advise you to drink it, as it's against the rules.
I understand how difficult things can get sometimes.
If you have lots more sn, my advise would be for you to safely dispose of the sn you dissolved, and give yourself another week or two to see how you feel then. I know it might seem like you're postponing the inevitable, but please try to give this a bit more thought and planning.
Sorry if this was a lame response.

 

[klm]

I obviously don't know anything about you or what you're going through, and I'm sorry things have got to this point for you.
It doesn't sound like you are ready right now, at this exact point in time. It sounds too spontaneous and the strong SI means that deep down you still have some hope things could improve for you.

Nobody here will actually advise you to drink it, as it's against the rules.
I understand how difficult things can get sometimes.
If you have lots more sn, my advise would be for you to safely dispose of the sn you dissolved, and give yourself another week or two to see how you feel then. I know it might seem like you're postponing the inevitable, but please try to give this a bit more thought and planning.
Sorry if this was a lame response.

it wasnt lame, this was a perfect response, I'm gonna pour it out and hopefully I get better soon, but like I've had depression for years and I've been to so many hospitals so idk, but ig I have some hope left, just like you said, thank you :)

 

[esse_est_percipi]

it wasnt lame, this was a perfect response, I'm gonna pour it out and hopefully I get better soon, but like I've had depression for years and I've been to so many hospitals so idk, but ig I have some hope left, just like you said, thank you :)

I know what you mean, I've had depression and anxiety for a long time, and sometimes it can seem hopeless. But situations can change.
If you have even a tiny bit of hope left, it's worth carrying on just a little bit longer. Things can improve for people, however bad they may seem at the time.
And ctb can always wait.
I wish you all the best x

 

[snuff]

if you're really want to go with it then i really hope you do it in the proper instruction. maybe planning stan guide would be the best to minimize the effect of annoying pain etc

 

[SoIntoYou]

Make sure to take the drugs necessary to keep yourself from throwing up - very important.
Make sure to read this in its entirety:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stans-guide-to-sn.27535/