Venting I have reached my breaking point I cannot take this anymore

[goomsoom]

Anything I touch stops working. I just have so many problems I don't know what to do, before I fix one thing another thing breaks. My life is stuck in a endless loop of problems. Why it always happens with me.

I planned to do research about methods today. My phone almost broke, my pc stopped working wasted whole day trying to fix it and it's still not fixed. I have so many pending things to do which now I cannot. Getting it fixed and organizing everything again will be a nightmare I just did it few months ago.

Couldn't come online here whole day I am feeling so disoriented I want to smash everything. There is no energy left in me to do anything.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I am sorry you are suffering so much... It sounds very distressing... I am here If you need to talk.. Sending you hugs and love

 

[MysticPerception]

I hate it so much when stuff breaks like that. I end up feeling like the whole world is coming down around me when something breaks and I seemingly can't just fix it. Having to spend hours on trying really hard to find a solution is the worst. I'm sorry everything feels like it's breaking for you like that. I hope things at least work long enough for you to search for a method you're comfortable with.

 

[goomsoom]

I am so tired from trying to fix my life but things never improve. Loneliness makes it worse.

Now even very small problems makes me so frustrated. I cannot get a break.

I am going to sleep to stop thinking. As soon I get some relief from my headache I will make a list of supplies I need and start working on finding it. As my luck is I know it will be not easy.

 

[woxihuanni]

I hope tomorrow will be less cursed than today, and you get a good rest meanwhile.

 

[exhausted]

Omg, I had a week where I dropped my phone down the toilet, my laptop stopped turning on and I had just moved somewhere new and found out the internet wasn't installed and wouldn't be for a while. I nearly lost my damn mind. And then the fucking washing machine flooded the kitchen first time I used it and it turned out the flat had been unoccupied long enough for the tapwater to have gone...stale, so bottled water it was until it cleared.

It's so annoying when a chain reaction of bullshit occurs. Go beat up a pillow.

 

[goomsoom]

Thanks everyone for your support. Didn't got much sleep, it's so chaotic here I cannot even explain. Terrible headache and idk what's happening my heart beat feels weirdly fast.

My SI confuses my brain I have to stay focused.

I will just stay in bed today.

 

[goomsoom]

Ok so an update:
Yesterday was a mixed day. Had a nice chat with a member here about methods and i feel i am ready. If everything goes smoothly i should be able to leave by the end of Feb.

After a long time I had this relieving feeling.

 

[Tim101]

Pay 2 speeding tickets or face suspension of licence.
My favorite plant died in the heat.
My valium is running low.
A nieghbour died of lung cancer.
Cleaner complained about front broken step.
A CD will not play - wrong region code.
I am sick and tired of bushfires and decimated wildlife.
I am bored and over Harry and bitch MM.
My regular doc on leave. Locum will not prescribe meds.
Council ranger accosted me for having my dog on beach.
Next door has visitors from South Africa and are sooo racist.
Could not be bothered cooking so get Thai too frequently.
My sister a dentist is sick of people's mouths.
I heard a woman bragging in the bakery that the chandelier cleaner arrived without signage on vehicle.
Ants are in the laundry.
Sick of humid weather.
Over thunderstorms and hail at this time of year.
Given gift card for Christmas which was NOT loaded with money when i went to use it.
A USB is broken.
Some arsehole used my recycling bin for empty booze bottles.
The local priest is retiring soon and i am concerned for those he assists with food and shelter
I am subscribed to an internet provider i know nothing of.
I smoke too many ciggies.
An ex friend rock star from UK is back in rehab in Bali. Still using and wants to visit in 3 weeks.
Does it EVER end?

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

No it never ends! Ha, you know it doesnt. Endless bullshit we call life. Lol. the item on your list that touched me most was your plant dying. Im so sorry for your loss, plants & pets are so special & we develop deep relationships with them.

I really get it tho, it just a bunch of annoyances that build up... its just crazy this life...

 

[Tim101]

No it never ends! Ha, you know it doesnt. Endless bullshit we call life. Lol. the item on your list that touched me most was your plant dying. Im so sorry for your loss, plants & pets are so special & we develop deep relationships with them.

I really get it tho, it just a bunch of annoyances that build up... its just crazy this life...

Thanks Hon. The plant was a very unusual Rhipsalis. My plants and dog are the things i am attached to the most. They keep me here on earth. The only things that do.

 

[goomsoom]

No it never ends! Ha, you know it doesnt. Endless bullshit we call life. Lol. the item on your list that touched me most was your plant dying. Im so sorry for your loss, plants & pets are so special & we develop deep relationships with them.

I really get it tho, it just a bunch of annoyances that build up... its just crazy this life...

I don't have any pets, i knew i cannot take care of them properly and it will add one more responsibility to my list.
My plants are like my baby i have had so many silly fights with my neighbours for it, from last few months i have given up on it too.

from 8 fucking years I have not spent 1 month happyily care free. More problems just keeps getting added to my list. If i continue i will get in debt and won't even have money for ctb. This is the condition when i have been living very frugally to save and invest it is never enough. Life has been very unfair to me.

 

[S1mpleme]

Anything I touch stops working. I just have so many problems I don't know what to do, before I fix one thing another thing breaks. My life is stuck in a endless loop of problems. Why it always happens with me.

I planned to do research about methods today. My phone almost broke, my pc stopped working wasted whole day trying to fix it and it's still not fixed. I have so many pending things to do which now I cannot. Getting it fixed and organizing everything again will be a nightmare I just did it few months ago.

Couldn't come online here whole day I am feeling so disoriented I want to smash everything. There is no energy left in me to do anything.

Maybe I can help you to fix computer?

 

[goomsoom]

Maybe I can help you to fix computer?

No i have tried it's hardware issue most likely ram. I cannot even install new os on it. I have cleaned all dust and reseated ram it's not working. Unfortunately I have only 1 working ram.

 

[S1mpleme]

No i have tried it's hardware issue most likely ram. I cannot even install new os on it. I have cleaned all dust and reseated ram it's not working. Unfortunately I have only 1 working ram.

Is it old computer? Can you get new RAM?

 

[goomsoom]

Is it old computer? Can you get new RAM?

No it's not very old i have to get it checked from service center. If there is no other way i will have to buy a new one.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Ok so an update:
Yesterday was a mixed day. Had a nice chat with a member here about methods and i feel i am ready. If everything goes smoothly i should be able to leave by the end of Feb.

After a long time I had this relieving feeling.

Can you tell us those methods? I am in search for some methods. I know the feeling of being relieved after making a suicide plan, But i gave up on my last one so.

 

[S1mpleme]

No it's not very old i have to get it checked from service center. If there is no other way i will have to buy a new one.

Don't waste your time and money with those service centers, just order RAM and if this nit what you needed you can always return.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Anything I touch stops working. I just have so many problems I don't know what to do, before I fix one thing another thing breaks. My life is stuck in a endless loop of problems. Why it always happens with me.

I planned to do research about methods today. My phone almost broke, my pc stopped working wasted whole day trying to fix it and it's still not fixed. I have so many pending things to do which now I cannot. Getting it fixed and organizing everything again will be a nightmare I just did it few months ago.

Couldn't come online here whole day I am feeling so disoriented I want to smash everything. There is no energy left in me to do anything.

I feel the same... it's just an endless misery of problems on a loop. I wish you the best. I understand wanting to smash everything.
I just want to smash my skull in.

 

[goomsoom]

Can you tell us those methods? I am in search for some methods. I know the feeling of being relieved after making a suicide plan, But i gave up on my last one so.

N,F is best if you know someone or can buy from deepweb. N is a bit costly, F is also as effective as N and cheaper. For me it's too risky so i will go with SN check stans thread. SN is neat and legal to buy over the counter.

My last option would be getting drunk and drown. I don't think I can go with partial hanging as my SI will kick in and i am not comfortable with it.

Lastly it's ok to back out if you are not ready and can have a good life.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Omg, I had a week where I dropped my phone down the toilet, my laptop stopped turning on and I had just moved somewhere new and found out the internet wasn't installed and wouldn't be for a while. I nearly lost my damn mind. And then the fucking washing machine flooded the kitchen first time I used it and it turned out the flat had been unoccupied long enough for the tapwater to have gone...stale, so bottled water it was until it cleared.

It's so annoying when a chain reaction of bullshit occurs. Go beat up a pillow.

I want to suffocate myself with a pillow. I know I wouldn't succeed but I want to.

 

[mattwitt]

Anything I touch stops working. I just have so many problems I don't know what to do, before I fix one thing another thing breaks. My life is stuck in a endless loop of problems. Why it always happens with me.

I planned to do research about methods today. My phone almost broke, my pc stopped working wasted whole day trying to fix it and it's still not fixed. I have so many pending things to do which now I cannot. Getting it fixed and organizing everything again will be a nightmare I just did it few months ago.

Couldn't come online here whole day I am feeling so disoriented I want to smash everything. There is no energy left in me to do anything.

I'm at the same point. A human being can only take so much crap thrown at them. In my case it's mostly my own crap.

 

[goomsoom]

I feel the same... it's just an endless misery of problems on a loop. I wish you the best. I understand wanting to smash everything.
I just want to smash my skull in.

My life is cursed i have sacrificed everything, now nothing is left and it's too late.

 

[Sensei]

My life is stuck in a endless loop of problems.

Can you really know for certain that it's endless? Maybe you could try to solve one problem at a time?

 

[goomsoom]

Don't waste your time and money with those service centers, just order RAM and if this nit what you needed you can always return.

I was getting bsod tried to reinstall windows from update/upgrade. Full clean install but setup won't run. And i downloaded new setup from media creation tool. Win 10 sucks.

Now it's stuck at header not matching. Boot from usb only show BSOD and it restarts.

I once got to run memory diagnostic it showed no problem.

Now i can think properly i will check if i have any old live linux CD or win 7 setup...

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Pay 2 speeding tickets or face suspension of licence.
My favorite plant died in the heat.
My valium is running low.
A nieghbour died of lung cancer.
Cleaner complained about front broken step.
A CD will not play - wrong region code.
I am sick and tired of bushfires and decimated wildlife.
I am bored and over Harry and bitch MM.
My regular doc on leave. Locum will not prescribe meds.
Council ranger accosted me for having my dog on beach.
Next door has visitors from South Africa and are sooo racist.
Could not be bothered cooking so get Thai too frequently.
My sister a dentist is sick of people's mouths.
I heard a woman bragging in the bakery that the chandelier cleaner arrived without signage on vehicle.
Ants are in the laundry.
Sick of humid weather.
Over thunderstorms and hail at this time of year.
Given gift card for Christmas which was NOT loaded with money when i went to use it.
A USB is broken.
Some arsehole used my recycling bin for empty booze bottles.
The local priest is retiring soon and i am concerned for those he assists with food and shelter
I am subscribed to an internet provider i know nothing of.
I smoke too many ciggies.
An ex friend rock star from UK is back in rehab in Bali. Still using and wants to visit in 3 weeks.
Does it EVER end?

WOW !!! That is a lot of shit to deal with.

No offense to any Brits but I'm so sick of the Royal Family. I don't care where Harry & Megan live. If they are happy... great, I just don't want to hear about it.

As far as the Aussie wildfires. I feel bad for the animals who had to suffer and die. (I care more for animals than most humans)

How does someone not load a gift card ?

I hate the asshole that put booze bottles in your bin. I hate people who litter … just pisses me of when people just throw shit out their window … like "Someone will clean it up" !!!! How hard is it to wait to find a trash can ??? Even if they have wait until they get to a convenience store.

I've heard of DVD's being regional but not CD's ??? I've gotten CD / DVD sets from other countries where the DVD won't play but the CD will.

 

[goomsoom]

I'm at the same point. A human being can only take so much crap thrown at them. In my case it's mostly my own crap.

I don't blame anyone there is no point ultimately i failed and i have to own it and pay the price for it.

Can you really know for certain that it's endless? Maybe you could try to solve one problem at a time?

I have tried now just don't have the energy to deal with this shit life.

Don't waste your time and money with those service centers, just order RAM and if this nit what you needed you can always return.

Hey an update so win 10 fucked my pc i think, harddisk is not even getting detected in bios now. Thankfully After running win 7 setup cd i can see that win 10 harddisk in drive list. Win 10 setup won't even load from usb.

Hope my data is not fucked up on my primary disk, it will be a nightmare. There was no sign of slow loading or anything to detect harddisk failure. Waiting for win 7 to install.