I have problems to cope with silence. Can you relate to that?

[noname223]

This is a part of the David Foster Wallace video which I watched like 50 times and endangered my sanity. I really love that interview. In this cutout he talks about silence and not being (over) stimulated. In our nowadays internet culture everything happens so fast. There is no more room for silence in today's world. In public places there is often music. Everything is about gratifying your appetites/desires. Literature often requires to sit in an empty room all alone for yourself with a lot of silence. For some this is a real dread. And I can relate to that very well. (He obviously had another relation to literature and art. He was an author.)

I sometimes struggle to read literature exactly for this reason. My brain needs intensive stimulation so that I don't start ruminating. At the same time it is also true there is also a need for silence inside myself. Something craves for it. For me this quiet part is often when I write in this forum. Then I am often introspective and self-reflective. I evaluate my day and my feelings. But I even have started to listen to music when I am in this forum to stimulate me. It should distract me from my loneliness. And partly from my isolation of real world connections. I communicate a lot with the help of the internet.

But this silence is for me rather an inner state. Like taking a pause to think. I think my soul really depends on that in order to stay stable. I have noticed in the past I neglected this need/desire. It has made me ill, increased my suicidality and was the beginning of my psychotic episodes.

At the same time a very long period of silence can be torturing for me. Especially when I am surrounded by an environment which I dislike and where I am not feeling comfortable.

Do you know that dealing with silence can sometimes be dreadful or exhaustive? Sometimes it is frightening for me being confronted with all my inner demons without the ability to cope by distracting myself with stimulation.

 

[motel rooms]

Sometimes it is frightening for me being confronted with all my inner demons without the ability to cope by distracting myself with stimulation.

Has anyone ever told you to give meditation a try? People like us must stop running away from our demons & allow them to devour us as we sit in silence in the fucking lotus position.

I can't cope without distracting myself with intense stimulation either, I have a LOT of (basically nervous) energy & I'm always doing ten things at the same time. The problem is that I also must distract myself from my brain's favorite form of distraction - vivid sexual fantasies.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Nope. Quite the opposite. I just want silence. I now even watch TV on mute, don't know why.

 

[noname223]

Has anyone ever told you to give meditation a try? People like us must stop running away from our demons & allow them to devour us as we sit in silence in the fucking lotus position.

I can't cope without distracting myself with intense stimulation either, I have a LOT of (basically nervous) energy & I'm always doing ten things at the same time. The problem is that I also must distract myself from my brain's favorite form of distraction - vivid sexual fantasies.

I take medication and it has helped. But I still have the need to stimulate me a lot in order to escape the dreadful silence.

 

[Pluto]

True silence, as in an acoustically sealed room, can drive some people nuts.



I think what you are describing is the overstimulated state that excessive time in unnatural environments such as electronic device usage does to us. I see a lot of people who can only be described as pathologically addicted to their phones, etc.

That said, I totally relate to the inner demons thing. I am only truly happy when asleep.

 

[Heartaches]

I sometimes struggle to read literature exactly for this reason. My brain needs intensive stimulation so that I don't start ruminating.

I struggle when I read books for the exact same reason, though I never knew how to verbalize it. Also, I'm not a native english speaker, so I didn't know about the word "ruminating" but it explains my struggles so well. Thank you!​

At the same time it is also true there is also a need for silence inside myself. Something craves for it. For me this quiet part is often when I write in this forum. Then I am often introspective and self-reflective. I evaluate my day and my feelings. But I even have started to listen to music when I am in this forum to stimulate me. It should distract me from my loneliness. And partly from my isolation of real world connections. I communicate a lot with the help of the internet.

Most of my interactions are through the internet since I have a hard time intimately relating and trusting others. Where I live there is a barebones understanding of mental health and mental illness, so I've had some insensitive and disrespectful comments thrown at me for things I can't control, as well as not getting the appropiate help I need. This leads me to introspection and self-reflection, most of the time with the company of music as silence can be agonizing to me (not to mention, my house is very noisy and it irritates me, so I try to drown it with sounds I like).

However, I've noticed that music sometimes amplifies my dread and anxiety, putting me in a low mood and with many thoughts running through my head. But even when I'm engulfed in those feelings, I often don't turn off the music to prevent loneliness, as it reminds me of my physical alienation and inability to speak up about my suffering.

Another thing that happens to is that sometimes music makes me lose focus when I write, like my mind isn't totally there, so I avoid it for some time, but eventually I start feeling lonely again and turn it on (though, it also depends on the kind of music).​

But this silence is for me rather an inner state. Like taking a pause to think. I think my soul really depends on that in order to stay stable. I have noticed in the past I neglected this need/desire. It has made me ill, increased my suicidality and was the beginning of my psychotic episodes.

At the same time a very long period of silence can be torturing for me. Especially when I am surrounded by an environment which I dislike and where I am not feeling comfortable.

I agree with this sentiment as well.

I think a reason silence can be agonizing and undesirable for many is the environment. While one can find a bit of peace at home and cities, urban areas are inevitably linked to stress in our daily lives: the tight schedules, the traffic jams, rude drivers or pedestrians, money, getting bombarded with ads, etc. I don't want this to be understood that this only an issue that happens in cities, but a lot of things are exacerbated to a degree that can hurt one's mind. In contrast, when one things of a relaxing place, they usually think of a nature-themed environment, such as a beach, a forest or a field. Surviving alone with nature can be scary as well, but I feel one wouldn't be as resistant of being in solitude if you put them in a beautiful and secure place, it'd be much more enjoyable and there wouldn't be the same amount of pressure. That's just a wild guess tho.​

Do you know that dealing with silence can sometimes be dreadful or exhaustive? Sometimes it is frightening for me being confronted with all my inner demons without the ability to cope by distracting myself with stimulation.

Sometimes when I'm feeling horrible I try to look for a place that's mostly quiet and that I can be by myself so I can sort out my thoughts and relax, lose track of time, but staying in one place too much makes me feel like I'm falling into the abyss with no one to hold me. It starts feeling like punishment once again.​

 

[fatefulstillness]

I'm the opposite. Oftentimes I'm in need of complete silence, for I become overstimulated quite quickly and my mind doesn't appreciate it. I can spend hours lying down on the floor and it's relieving. It's probably my best coping mechanism.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I can't stand the silence. I typically have music going. I found buspar to help quiet my thoughts enough that I don't mind it a little, but I don't take it.

 

[toxictunes]

i loved silence. Since i have chronic tinnitus i cant even exist without background sounds. Silence is literally driving me crazy bcs of this sound in my ear :(