I have no Hope that isn't false.

[AngusRot]

I have never been told that I'm loved, not once. At this point (I'm 20) I'm ready to end it but the false hope if something I've never had keeps me going. How is it possible use something you can never have as hope? That is what makes it false, but that's also why I keep going. I need help, but will never receive it irl.
Please.

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

Hugs...I'm so sorry to hear of your pain and lack of love in your life. Sending you virtual hugs

 

[AngusRot]

Hugs...

And right back to you. As warm a hug as I can give : ^}

 

[Rukia]

But maybe you were loved only they never told you that? Is it a possibility?

 

[AngusRot]

I hope, one day I'll either be loved or gone. I think about partial hanging alot. The one time I tried it, the headache scared me and I chickened out. I think about alot of things, but what occupies my mind the most is the want of being needed by someone, anyone, and my inevitable suicide. Anybody relate to that?

But maybe you were loved only they never told you that? Is it a possibility?

I really, honestly don't think so.
I wish they would have said something if they did though! : ) I don't know though, I have no redeemable qualities that don't involve emotion. Like, I'm always the person that people say "I just want to be with a good person yanno?" Or "I just want to be loved" but when I open up, it's always distance yanno?
I love you, dear reader. Goodnight.

 

[Xaphous]

Never having a girlfriend or sex is one of the reasons I'm killing myself. I'm socially isolated my entire life so I'm automatically denied a chance anyway. Many random girls have said I'm cute, attractive randomly. It just angers me to remember it. Now that I've nearly lost all my 20s without ever even talking to a female ever in my entire life I'm too angry to even try and date. I'm too bitter and my attitude is awful. I don't have the BASIC REQUIREMENTS to be accepted, like my own place, a job, a social life.

 

[JoeFailure]

I have never been told that I'm loved, not once. At this point (I'm 20) I'm ready to end it but the false hope if something I've never had keeps me going. How is it possible use something you can never have as hope? That is what makes it false, but that's also why I keep going. I need help, but will never receive it irl.
Please.

Dude, you're so young. You're going to meet so many people in life still. At work, hobbies, all kinds of stuff. I know there are some people who suck, but there are also a lot of good people in this world and you'll encounter them.

Don't worry about what's happened to this point. I don't know if you're in school or working right now but things can definitely change for you. Put yourself out there and try different things, and be smart with money, stash that shit away. I literally might have to ctb because I didn't do that.

 

[Alan James]

I have never been told that I'm loved, not once.

Do you want to end it all just for this reason? There are usually more reasons.

This is a personal matter of everyone, there are no "bad reasons" but "love" doesn't even exist in reality. That "love" is simply the result of chemical reactions in the body and instincts that can be overcome. This is a biological program. Any moron can be loved and give birth to 7 poor children, I don't see what to be proud of here. But you are special, you are free from this biological program, it's like a gift and you want to kill yourself because of it.

I am 31 years old and I am a virgin. I never kissed and don't know how to do it. But this area of activity was uninteresting for me and I didn't worry about it, I felt too bad even to leave the house.

 

[been_there]

Careful what you wish for. Love is overrated and causes as much pain as happiness.

 

[Xaphous]

Careful what you wish for. Love is overrated and causes as much pain as happiness.

Never experiencing it is worse though

I am 31 years old and I am a virgin. I never kissed and don't know how to do it. But this area of activity was uninteresting for me and I didn't worry about it, I felt too bad even to leave the house.

I feel amazed that anyone can be ok with it. I wish I had no desire in this field.

 

[Alan James]

I feel amazed that anyone can be ok with it. I wish I had no desire in this field.

I felt too bad for all this, I thought that I would die. I hate myself and i have a very strong body dysmorphic disorder. I was sure that it was disgusting to everyone to even look at me.

And I also had some kind of ideology about it: I believed that it was a biological control program and a restriction of freedom, that people were obliged to overcome these instincts instead of following them in the process of evolution and technical progress, considered it all a trap and a deceit.

 

[not_a_robot]

I have never been told that I'm loved, not once. At this point (I'm 20) I'm ready to end it but the false hope if something I've never had keeps me going. How is it possible use something you can never have as hope? That is what makes it false, but that's also why I keep going. I need help, but will never receive it irl.
Please.

It kills me when people want to ctb because of lack of love. Love, when observed objectively, is a crock of 100% pure bullshit. Even the people who have it do not really have it and are never genuinely happy, they spend their lives in desperate attempts to please and validate each other and not get murdered, it all looks so horrible to me.

I see news reports of child abuse, spouse abuse, murder and I think:
"Wow, there's a lot of love bloodying up the pavement, there. Some more love splattered all over the wall. Lucky people, so full oflove. "

Seriously, oxytocin is poison.

 

[durba1]

Your problem could be resolved easily if you start by investing in yourself.
Don't neglect your look, start working out, treat yourself better, learn some small talk tricks, don't be afraid to fail, in sum love yourself & love will follow.
Exploit the fact that you are young & male, you don't have to be handsome to attract girls that seek love.
Disclaimer: once in a relationship don't expect that love is sacred or it'll last forever, be prepared for breakups, though times, new partners.. in sum don't put all your eggs in one basket.

 

[Meretlein]

Do you want to end it all just for this reason? There are usually more reasons.

This is a personal matter of everyone, there are no "bad reasons" but "love" doesn't even exist in reality. That "love" is simply the result of chemical reactions in the body and instincts that can be overcome. This is a biological program. Any moron can be loved and give birth to 7 poor children, I don't see what to be proud of here. But you are special, you are free from this biological program, it's like a gift and you want to kill yourself because of it.

I am 31 years old and I am a virgin. I never kissed and don't know how to do it. But this area of activity was uninteresting for me and I didn't worry about it, I felt too bad even to leave the house.

We're both asexuals so this is hard for us to understand but sex and romance are a huge part of most peoples' lives. Telling them to just forget about it is like someone telling us "just be normal".

 

[Meretlein]

Never experiencing it is worse though


I feel amazed that anyone can be ok with it. I wish I had no desire in this field.

It's called being an aromantic asexual, we're like 0.20 percent of the population. Some asexuals like not_a_robot and Alan James are having trouble understanding how important sex and/or romance are to the vast majority of humans

 

[GeorgeJL]

"I have no Hope that isn't false."

Let's see I think three negatives equals a negative.

 

[Darkmornings]

I dont think love exists. I think Hollywood has filled our heads with a bunch of bullshit. At this point I dont even want anyone telling me they love me because I wouldnt believe them. I dont even think platonic love exist either. People are just too selfish.

I'm 42 and I've never been in love. I will admit that there is something about me that people dislike. Im not sure what exactly. Everyone in my life has ghosted. They wont even tell me why. I dont have anyone, not even friends at work. At first it made me sad but being an outsider has allowed me to observe people's behavior. The nice guy finishes last and I dont have the energy or ego to treat people like shit just to gain their "love".

I know we are all here because we want to ctb but think about changing your perspective. Dont put your faith in people. Enjoy their company but dont have expectations. Set boundaries. You have us until you meet someone irl. I'm going through the same shit. You're not alone.