I have never had a girl friend . I've been told by different girls over the years that it is impossible for me to get one . Would like some opinions

[Now_And_Then]

I have been meaning to post this for weeks as it has been eating and eating at me, along with my other problems . I do not know what exactly went wrong , I always was and felt like a out cast , some one who was born to be left out of things and that I was by default not liked or desired by any one . So obviously I had never had a girl friend when I was younger , right through to my twenties and to this very day

I have been told by a few girls / ladies and even some male friends that no matter what I do , it is impossible for me to get a girl friend . I will share some of the times these different girls said those things to me . The first was when I was working in a Starbucks coffee shop way back in 2004 , an Indian girl was helping the store behind the till . I got into a basic conversation with her and she just come out with " You know you are never going to get a girl friend , don't you " ?

What drove her to say that out of the blue , I wasn't even flirting with her

The second time was when I was buying a pizza from the local take away around 2007 or so and there were a few young girls and guys going to a party , also waiting for a pizza . The small conversation we had lead to me telling them in a light manner I am looking for a girl friend and one of the girls turned round to me and said " I doubt any girl would like you , I mean just look at you . You look un-inspiring . You look dull . I think you need a change of atmosphere " what did she mean by that ?

The third time was when I was in a kebab shop and a similar conversation went on and a girl told me that no matter what I do , even if I went to the gym and got ripped , got a six pack and some muscles , .... no girl would want me . It is just the way it is

Am I severely un - lucky or some thing ? I have always felt incredibly shy and in-secure around and about ladies and feel like some one who would just look dumb and use less of I tried to chat one up or ask one out

I have never been able to take a good photo , what ever pose I do

I will leave here a few pictures of me so some of you ( especially the ladies here ) can give me a very honest opinion as to what was wrong with my looks / demeaner . The first is from when I left school in 2001, and I think my face / demeaner shows how un-attached from this world I have been since school . The rest are from about 14 years ago , so in no way show what I look like now .... which is far worse

Please give your honest answer or opinions , don't sugar coat them and please refrain from nasty comments .... I will rough as it is and have had a very nasty few days

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You actually don't/didn't look too bad at all. I'm speaking as a guy who isn't attracted to guys though. I assume you already at least keep proper hygiene and dress decently, right? Other than that I'm honestly baffled as to how people said things like that to you when I'm genuinely way uglier and all my friends and family do nothing but condescend to me and try to convince me I'm handsome when I'm not, at least definitely not when compared to you in these photos. You literally looked like an actor or something so I really don't get it...

Hmm, I guess I don't know how to put this delicately but I legitimately think maybe those girls were either trying to flirt with you (horribly) or they were all caught up in some messed-up ego trip where they feel better about themselves just by degrading white men. I know for a fact that the latter is a thing because my sister is one of these kinds of women (some white boy she made friends with when she was in 4th grade basically did her wrong and she's hated all white men ever since). It's not just her though, a lot of women in California are like that for some reason. Sometimes it makes me glad I'm Asian even though I've never had any such luck either.....

You said you were shy and insecure so another factor could simply be how you carry yourself and your posture/tone. Maybe those women were actually just trying to clue you in that if you just fixed that one thing you'd be Golden but some women (and men) for some reason don't like to be obvious about that sort of thing because they assume you should already know...

 

[Bleunoir]

Honestly , I don't understand why anyone would just say that . These women were just arrogant bitches. I am a woman and I am telling you , you are a good looking guy. You have pretty eyes and manly face shape. Lots of women would be happy to date you! Maybe you only like confidence and ppl can sense it? I notice that I get lots of more male attention on the days I feel good about myself . I guess my expression, posture, moves change making me more attractive . Try to be more self secure. Maybe going to gym would help . I know it was life changing for me . Good luck!

 

[Now_And_Then]

You actually don't/didn't look too bad at all. I'm speaking as a guy who isn't attracted to guys though. I assume you already at least keep proper hygiene and dress decently, right? Other than that I'm honestly baffled as to how people said things like that to you when I'm genuinely way uglier and all my friends and family do nothing but condescend to me and try to convince me I'm handsome when I'm not, at least definitely not when compared to you in these photos. You literally looked like an actor or something so I really don't get it...

Hmm, I guess I don't know how to put this delicately but I legitimately think maybe those girls were either trying to flirt with you (horribly) or they were all caught up in some messed-up ego trip where they feel better about themselves just by degrading white men. I know for a fact that the latter is a thing because my sister is one of these kinds of women (some white boy she made friends with when she was in 4th grade basically did her wrong and she's hated all white men ever since). It's not just her though, a lot of women in California are like that for some reason. Sometimes it makes me glad I'm Asian even though I've never had any such luck either.....

You said you were shy and insecure so another factor could simply be how you carry yourself and your posture/tone. Maybe those women were actually just trying to clue you in that if you just fixed that one thing you'd be Golden but some women (and men) for some reason don't like to be obvious about that sort of thing because they assume you should already know...

Actually I never had a very good hygiene a lot of the time , but that was not a factor with this girls

The first one I mentioned at the Star bucks coffee shop work , I would have been washed and up to standards most of the time because of the job and I am pretty sure I was on that day . The other times I think I was also not un-clean , for one I think of the girls were horrible enough to say the things they said , they would have surely have mentioned my hygiene if that was a factor

Please do not degrade your self or compare to other people's looks , they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I midn of agree with that . Life is un-fair in that it has made all these im balances

Apart from the Indian girl at the work place , the rest of the girls I mentioned were white , so I doubt they were trying to degrade me because I am white

But you never know

 

[sunshine5]

Sorry those girls said that to you. People are horrible sometimes.
You look normal and I could see you dating a girl definitely :)

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

What disgusts me the most about this shitfuck planet is the following: Whenever I've truly not had any desire or need for a girlfriend it only takes one minute until a woman looks at me on the streets, which puts the black magic curse of "tfw no gf" back into effect. I believe that women are programmed to only be attracted to men that don't need them, which is probably one of the most brutal and cruel functions of the DNA. Infanticide, genocide, social exclusion, torture, murder and so on are also horrendous.

 

[Now_And_Then]

Honestly , I don't understand why anyone would just say that . These women were just arrogant bitches. I am a woman and I am telling you , you are a good looking guy. You have pretty eyes and manly face shape. Lots of women would be happy to date you! Maybe you only like confidence and ppl can sense it? I notice that I get lots of more male attention on the days I feel good about myself . I guess my expression, posture, moves change making me more attractive . Try to be more self secure. Maybe going to gym would help . I know it was life changing for me . Good luck!

Thank you for your kind reply

But remember you should have said "had" not "have" lol , as the pictures are from around 10 to 14 years ago and my appearance has got worse through more depression


Thank you again

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Actually I never had a very good hygiene a lot of the time , but that was not a factor with this girls

The first one I mentioned at the Star bucks coffee shop work , I would have been washed and up to standards most of the time because of the job and I am pretty sure I was on that day . The other times I think I was also not un-clean , for one I think of the girls were horrible enough to say the things they said , they would have surely have mentioned my hygiene if that was a factor

You'd be surprised how unwilling people are to call out bad hygiene to strangers. I don't doubt that it wasn't a factor though, but it could also be simple BO. Some people lose the genetic lottery and legitimately can't have their natural body odor covered no matter how much deodorant they put on. Usually these odors are virtually undetectable to the person in question. A friend of mine has something like this and it certainly doesn't help. Again, I don't believe that that has to necessarily be the factor either though.

Please do not degrade your self or compare to other people's looks , they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I midn of agree with that . Life is un-fair in that it has made all these im balances

Apart from the Indian girl at the work place , the rest of the girls I mentioned were white , so I doubt they were trying to degrade me because I am white

But you never know

Well, most of them being white actually makes it even more likely from what I've seen. I know I'm pretty dang self-critical but some white people need to chill out when it comes to how they talk about their own race! Have some pride!...er well you know what I mean... Then again you're right and maybe it also could have just been because you're a man, nothing to do with race.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

That's really strange. Just judging from the photos, it's hard to believe anyone would think it would be impossible for you to get a girlfriend. If I'm being completely honest, I'm going to assume it's not your looks that made people think that. For instance, I knew a guy who was very attractive by everyone's standards. Model looks, even, but.. he was very strange and came across very creepy so when most girls actually talked to him, they lost interest in him because of that. They really just needed to warm up to him though. He often gave a bad first impression to both men and women, but I was still his friend and once I got to know him, he was actually cool to hang out with.

Even still, it's definitely not impossible for you to get a girlfriend and I hope you don't give up. I can assure you there is someone out there that would love to date you.

 

[Now_And_Then]

That's really strange. Just judging from the photos, it's hard to believe anyone would think it would be impossible for you to get a girlfriend. If I'm being completely honest, I'm going to assume it's not your looks that made people think that. For instance, I knew a guy who was very attractive by everyone's standards. Model looks, even, but.. he was very strange and came across very creepy so when most girls actually talked to him, they lost interest in him because of that. They really just needed to warm up to him though. He often gave a bad first impression to both men and women, but I was still his friend and once I got to know him, he was actually cool to hang out with.

Even still, it's definitely not impossible for you to get a girlfriend and I hope you don't give up. I can assure you there is someone out there that would love to date you.

I think my demeanour may have had a lot to do with it , hence why when one of the girls said that even if I gained muscles and a six pack after going to the gym , it would make no difference





I was extremely shy when I was younger and could not get a word out some times . Working in Star bucks cured that a little bit and I was some what more out going , but I think because of my depression and un-attachment from the world , along with my being focused on my inner thoughts and worries all the time , it damaged my ability to act and speak in a fluent and coherent way

Some people have said I look angry in my pictures above , as though I want to kill some one almost in some of them ( well I did want to kill my self , lol )

Life sucks as it is clear that is no balance or equality in fair ness from it

 

[Callie Arcale]

I will not address your looks because I'm old enough to know that appearances say zilch about a person.

But I would like to say that those who told you that you would never get a girlfriend are bullies. How on Earth can they make such a statement? Who made them all knowing? Can they predict your future? Do they have a crystal ball and have seen what will happen for the rest of your life? Oh please... do not allow them to poison your mind. Their statements say more about them, than you.


All the best to you and good luck with finding a partner if that is what you want!

 

[Sprite_Geist]

What those people said about you comes across as mean-spirited and judgmental. You were told that you look "uninspiring", but how can you know whether or not someone is inspiring without getting to know them as a person? Surely an individuals ability to inspire others is more based on their personality rather than just appearance alone?

 

[Symbiote]

Your eyes look dead like the life has been sucked out of them. Every thing physically about you is fine, just the eyes. My eyes look dead too after years of depression and no idea how to get life back in them again.

 

[Imaginos]

Your eyes look dead like the life has been sucked out of them. Every thing physically about you is fine, just the eyes. My eyes look dead too after years of depression and no idea how to get life back in them again.

I've always wondered if my eyes look dead. My mom says they don't, but I'm not sure if she'd really tell me the truth if they were. Personally, I think they're a cross between being noticeably sad and also dead. Or, maybe they just look like nothing to anyone else.

Looks aside, I'm utterly vacant and hollowed out on the inside. There's nothing there at all now, except for negativity, instability and darkness. That itself is more damning for me than anything else. Like yourself, I'm actually not a bad looking guy, and my outward appearance could even be defined as handsome, but what difference does it make? If your spirit is dead, then nothing else matters. As it stands, I've long come to accept that I'll always be alone and that I'll die without ever having been in a relationship, or having ever enjoyed physical intimacy with another human being. That's just how it is and, for me, it honestly can't be helped.

If your spirit is still alive, then that also means you still have a worthwhile possibility to enjoy life. Regardless of anything else, that's all that matters. Assuming you can, I'd recommend you give whatever you can think of a shot. As long as you believe something is out there for you, then there is. The moment you don't, is when everything is truly lost forever. A dead heart, and a fundamentally defective mind, permanently kill the possibility for everything. If this isn't you, then you'll always have a chance.

Whenever I've truly not had any desire or need for a girlfriend it only takes one minute until a woman looks at me on the streets, which puts the black magic curse of "tfw no gf" back into effect.

Hmm, yeah. Sadly, I know what you mean. Even as a heavily isolated hermit, I find this to be the case sometimes. Pathetic as it sounds, even random NPCs in video games will sometimes spur in me feelings like what you just described. My sense of loneliness can be just that extreme sometimes. My mind/heart are so starved in this regard that seemingly everything can remind me of how alone I am. Just sitting and doing nothing while staring at the wall or ceiling doesn't even leave me safe from this sort of thing. At that point, my imagination will just take over and go on to condemn myself to thinking on some painful daydream or another that, at times, will leave me in tears both during and afterwards. I greatly take offense to these aspects of human biology. Rationally, I have no use for loneliness, but my emotional weakness and deprivation of contact makes it impossible not to experience. Genetically, apes are some of the most socially needy creatures on the planet. Our DNA is expressly meant to torture introverted aberrants such as myself. Oh joy.

 

[Now_And_Then]

Your eyes look dead like the life has been sucked out of them. Every thing physically about you is fine, just the eyes. My eyes look dead too after years of depression and no idea how to get life back in them again.

I have always thought that my eyes look dead or soul less too

I think I am pretty sure that I have been told a few times by some different people that I look life less or dead in general


Look at my photo here of when I just left school , I was 16 or so

I look life less , gaunt and no expression at all

 

[DeadButDreaming]

You should have replied to them "Wait until you hit 40: you'll be begging me for a date."

Without interacting with you it's hard to identify what's illiciting these comments. I agree with the others that we can rule out looks. If I had to guess I would say it's shyness/lack of confidence. Quiet personalities aren't as appealing to women.

 

[Makko]

"You'll never get a girlfriend" is an appalingly rude thing to say, almost to the point of social inadequacy. A vulgar 12 year old can throw this around, but anyone older? They're pulling your leg.

 

[summers]

Just make a POF profile. Compared to a lot of dudes on there, you're a catch. No sarcasm here, if you act normal in your conversations, don't mention suicide, and stay away from polarizing topics until you get to know the person, you will get plenty of dates in no time. Wish you the best of luck.

 

[netrezven]

You have to build some real confidence and learn how to have a good time. Why care what some random chicks say?

 

[WornOutLife]

Don't pay any attention to them. You just haven't found any girls who consider you their type.

Keep on looking for them! They could be anywhere!

 

[Now_And_Then]

Thank you for your great replies , but I have just realised that most of you here have seemed to miss the bit on my original post that I said that those pictures are from between 10 and 14 years ago , so I look drastically different now

I was just wanting opinions on what went wrong in the past . I have decided my bus fate now , so it is way too late to do any thing for a few reasons

But thank you for the kind comments again

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Thank you for your great replies , but I have just realised that most of you here have seemed to miss the bit on my original post that I said that those pictures are from between 10 and 14 years ago , so I look drastically different now

I was just wanting opinions on what went wrong in the past . I have decided my bus fate now , so it is way too late to do any thing for a few reasons

But thank you for the kind comments again

Post your current pics if you want. Everyone agrees that your appearance is not too hideous to guarantee lack of romance, but that it's the suicidal depression from possible maternal abandonment and neediness that might be putting women off. Same for me, bro, we just have to come out stronger on the other side (I mean, not death, fuck).

 

[LONE WOLF.]

@Now_And_Then, Hi, As one straight man to another,l have no problem saying that l think you're quite a handsome fella! It is hard to keep up and maintain our appearance as we age but l firmly believe that there is a Women's heart out there somewhere just waiting for yours! :-)

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

ok so as a woman, I don't really think looks plays a huge role for men, as long as you have like basic hygiene and you take care of yourself (and you look good anyways) and like if you don't think I'm being honest, I'm sure you can think of a time where you were surprised a really hot girl was dating someone um not so hot

For me personally, and most of my friends what matters is first off, that you're a good person and you give off that vibe, which tbh I think for a lot of people they really need to think about that one. But also there needs to be a connection ya know? You have to enjoy talking to each other and have things in common. You gotta go to chemistry before biology. And that's the huge thing for me personally and for like every other girl I know.

 

[Celerity]

Idk what to say except that people are assholes. You are physically attractive, so I'm wondering if something in your demeanor is affecting this.
But God, no matter how uncomfortable someone made me, I would never say something so hurtful.

 

[lonerclown666]

same i am sure i will die virgin its like a taboo for average man to ask woman out in today age then they wonder why there is many incels today

 

[lonerclown666]

I just want a gf for one time its sucks i will die without having one

 

[fatiguecentral]

Hello! You seem like a normal man and rather handsome. I am surprised the women said those nasty things to you. It is difficult to determine where the issue lies as we don't know you and can't see you in action. There is no issue in the looks department.

On another note, I hope you consider removing your pictures from the public forum. This isn't a very safe site and there are people trying to collect information to use against members. I don't want you to be doxed.

 

[Yerina]

It's not about you its about narcissists b*****s. I personally despised myself both internally and externally and then one day boom... a in-game message to me "Ur pretty, I like you. It's true, I saw you"....sadly I have other plans with my life) A friendly advice, if not in your country maybe in other. Meeting a person from diff language and culture might be refreshing to you mentally and you might discover your hidden potential that could brake that shell of shyness of yours. Though you gotta be cautious!

 

[WitheringAway]

I wouldn't take their comments seriously especially the one who said it out of the blue. She probably had a crush on you and that was her stupid way to draw attention to her. The other one was probably a comment that group of friends say it to each other too. I knew dumb people over the years who would say the same thing to each other as a joke "lmao bruh u'll never get a gorl", that being said, there's nothing wrong with your physical appearance. You have pretty kind eyes. So in that regard, you have nothing to worry about. You want people to date you for who you are as a person. Your personality must shine through your interactions with others. I work in a hospital; most people are very good looking; however I find the most attractive people (the specific guys all the ladies whisper about) are the ones with great personalities and social skills regardless of the way they look. For example, there's a guy who is not so much good looking by our social standards but all my female workers think he's amazing and his wife is lucky to have him.
That being said, You, my friend, have the looks.. you gotta work on your personality and how you carry yourself. Only if YOU think you need to work at it. You might be good enough just they way you are.