Venting I have never felt so helpless and ignored before

[Ender]

I am falling apart, and all I have been doing is having crying fits and spells. All day i just felt so helpless and gone, during lecture, all I did was cry because of my state of everything, i am sitting here crying and in pain, and to see everyone's stupid face stare at their screens, mocking me, looking at me (no, that didn't actually occur, just my anxiety and paranoia). I wish I took the chance to end things yesterday, but no.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I remember crying during lectures when I was failing at college for the first time. Very good that you know what's real and which things are the anxiety and paranoia talking, at least. Maybe you can try to lean into the parts of you that are less afraid somehow?