My impression is that a lot of people will still be willing to engage in sexual activity even if they know you have genital herpes. But the nice thing to do is let the person know and let them decide, given that it is incurable and can really mess with some people.
Luckily my anxiety posted before they told me there were fine with it!
Good thing they were fine with it because people can have you imprisoned for knowingly spreading STI/D without informing them.
The only person I did this too was with 150 plus people and it was a really not smart decision on my part. Not to invalidate it but it is super important that I now be honest with everyone no matter what I think of them or what the moment brings, it's only fair. Thank god you can also do this bc it's dangerous to not tell people… especially with some of the bigger STIs that can kill or really change your life. This was even life changing for me
Bruh, herpes is literally life changing...
I meant in context of spreading something like HIV to someone. Herpes has definitely changed my life but I meant more people are open to that than to something like HIV. Herpes outbreaks don't happen that often and therefore is one of the easier diseases to lie about even. It's a cold sore for your shit and cold sores aren't an actual serious life threatening problem.
and for context for anyone that creeps, I only had one outbreak. It doesn't disable my life, it's not something that happens or bothers me, I just have it. The most life changing part is having to tell people I have it. It's easy to hide if you've ever had it and I said people probably lie or don't acknowledge it for that reason: use a condom and be safe! It's not that hard to get lied to about this stuff.
"who cares? It's just an open sore all over your genitals, it ain't that bad"
it doesn't sound like they passed it on purpose, idk if i'm misunderstanding something? sounds more like they're a victim of someone else giving them herpes, and they just never realized…
My ex was cheating on me. I think he was the one who gave it to me cause he would have sores sometimes.
I mean anyone passing on anything without telling you is shitty. I cried. But the disease itself isn't as bad as you think. I'm the one who deals with it so the biggest issue is the anxiety of telling someone. No one wants sores anywhere on their body… knowing would have been better. With honesty I probably would have risked it. My first partner had lip cold sores and I didn't care about getting it for the rest of my life. Everyone's different
Yeah, yours do. It's case by case. One of my best friends got herpes from his ex and even with meds he has breakouts monthly.private parts look normal 99% of the time
Hey that makes sense! That's why I feel it's important to be honest. Not everyone wants that or would risk it and so I assumed the person I was talking to would be grossed out. The most life changing part in my case is that - knowing it limits my options and is a conversation I have to have. I don't blame anyone for not wanting it. You should have the freedom to make the choice.
i'm sorry it sounds like you are a victim here, ignore that other dude, even if he thinks it's gross it's just unkind. you didn't consent to it, you didn't know.My ex was cheating on me. I think he was the one who gave it to me cause he would have sores sometimes.
When an outbreak happens, sure it's gross! But again, it's like a cold sore.. it's literally the same thing. Looks gross, goes away, take meds as you said. I still don't want it and cried when I got it, but the doctor made me feel like it's "common" and not a big deal. Telling people sucks. But outbreaks don't happen 24/7. My private parts look normal 99% of the time
I mean anyone passing on anything without telling you is shitty. I cried. But the disease itself isn't as bad as you think. I'm the one who deals with it so the biggest issue is the anxiety of telling someone. No one wants sores anywhere on their body… knowing would have been better. With honesty I probably would have risked it. My first partner had lip cold sores and I didn't care about getting it for the rest of my life. Everyone's different
Also sorry, meant to say I feel sorry for your friend. Constant outbreaks would make me stressed as well and add to the problem of being with others even more… maybe I'm one of the lucky ones
why are you being so mean to them, they clearly don't WANT it, their cheating ex gave it to them? they're a victim in this situation. not sure why you keep attacking them like they're doing it on purpose, they're saying it's "not that bad" to make themselves feel better, not to keep giving it to other people.
I'm not attacking them, nor did I say it was their fault. The only thing I disagree with is that "it's not a big deal", it's a huge deal, it's an infection on your genitals that is easily spreadable. The only people you're going to hear say "it's not a big deal" are people that have it. I really never understood why people try and push that idea.
I proved that not everyone thinks it's the biggest deal though, I never had cold sores and wanted my partner to just give it to me at that point. I'm also crazy. But I get why if you didn't have it, you wouldn't want it.
again, to make themselves feel better?
Thank you
I definitely am trying to make myself feel better esp when I posted this and had to break the news I felt shit and gross. But knowing the guy didn't mind also helped me accept it and be like "hey this might not be that bad, it's really not that bad". Maybe he already has it, but I guess I'll never know. And if anyone comes across this forum who also had it, maybe it can help them have hope that it won't always be a turn downNever said they were gross and disgusting and again, at no point did I say it was their fault for getting it, even though they literally said "I think he was the one who gave it to me cause he would have sores sometimes". I personally wouldn't just brush off sores, but that's just me.
why not encourage them to report their ex then? since you think it's so awful to give someone herpes?
My first literal message was me mentioning that people can be imprisoned for knowingly passing STI/Ds without informing prior. And I didn't tell them they should do it because at that point, she never mentioned how she got it.
That is just you. It's condescending in the way you put things at this point. Thanks for chatting but your opinions are heard and I tried to be respectful.
"I wouldn't do it, I don't want anything gross on my gentials. I don't want gross sores." These type of people aren't interested in helping me so don't worry I've discarded it. None of what they said was helpful and I was nice about it. Thanks for supporting me :)
Again, I didn't say you were gross. I said open contagious gentials sores are gross, regardless of what you think, they just are.
