I have everything in my life going right but still feel super depressed.

[evey8112]

The world does not understand mental illness, If they did they would not point at all of the outside shit (Material objects) on the reason you should keep living. My family says i should be thankful, that i have everything going right in my life which I do, but none of this material shit makes me happy at least for long periods of time. I am at a point where I do not have to really worry about
bills anymore or things but still empty inside. Lets look at people who had everything going on in their life, even had kids and still went on with CTB. Steven Boss AKA Twitch, Who was a famous
dancer and was on the Ellen show as a DJ. He had everything on the outside. He had a beautiful wife, great kids, Money, Fame, ect... He had it all on the outside but a few days before Christmas of last year, went to a hotel and took his life via gunshot to the head. I almost want to CTB to prove a point, to show the world that YES you can have every fucking thing and still feel like shit. I plan on
CTB tomorrow Via 9MM to the head. I am so tired of this endless cycle of pain. I feel better for a little then depression sucks me back in and destroys me.

This was more of a rant but maybe some of you can understand or relate.

Thanks for taking the time to read :) Please leave comments if you want too.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable feeling so tired of suffering here, I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[020x]

It's always "why are you even depressed? you got everything in life", "have you seen how other people live? be grateful", etc.

I understand you. Mental illnesses are not understood by people who didn't experience any of it themselves. Sadly we have to accept living with those people.

May you find peace. Hugs*

 

[toofargone6969]

Twitch's suicide hit me hard. Yes he did seemingly have a perfect life but like you said you can have everything and it doesn't change your mental state. Some people are just broken and nothing can fix them or make life seem worth living. It's horrible. I'm sorry you have the pain you carry and feel you must CTB. I hate that we are all here especially those of us with good lives and families. Makes the guilt worse and complicates things tremendously.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Suicide is an end of life(style) choice. Life is a sociobiological process, like a soccer game. As a once participant of it, and removing myself from the firld as an objective observer of it - I just find it unnecessary, and it is within the purview of any free person to clock out if they choose to voluntarily without being pathologized for failing to participate in what one never signed up for.

Unfortunately suicide remains an target for abuse by psychiatry which has always sought to pathologize behavior that did not conform to the social construct. Like homosexuality which was classified as an organic sexual maladaptive disease only removed from the DSM-II in 1970 & ICD-10 in 1992, alike with drapetomania where slaves and housewives who ran away from there confined domiciles within which they were expected to be in conformity with into wanderlust pathologized as mentally ill. Because there was no objective testing like neuroimaging for the organic etiologies of homosexuality at the time, tremendous pressure to pathologize such incomprehensible behavior by the laypeople was incumbent upon psychiatry to classify, diagnose and pin something (or anything) down for the record as a mechanism for punitive "treatment" of what was by religious or other convention reprehensible or inexplicable human expression of affection. Because of these conventions and the free reign of psychiatry as the philosophy of what physics and sciences today, psychiatrist treated homosexuals with adverse exposure therapy by electroshock stimuli and infusing anemic and other horrific intravenous painful interventions to try to cure or treat homosexuality by high voltage electro shocking gay to vomit when exposed to an image of their own kind nude, often compelled under the direction of a psychiatrist by court order as a conditional plea bargain in lieu of prison in a course of therapy by the courts widely Acclaim that endorsed by the psychiatric community in the belief that homosexuality was a horrific disease and could be cured.

Like radical practitioners of sorcery and wizardry in medieval times who sought explain the inexplicable, psychiatrist are like philosophers who sought to explain the origins of the universe and inexplicable or unusual phenomenon by shooting the arrow first and then drawing the target wherever it landed on the tree, and going from there.

Psychiatrists today are the same very practitioners of this kind to come up with something to explain that which has no rational or socially acceptable basis for conduct and the pathologization of the unknown causing significant harms to victims that only wish to be free from the restraints of psychiatric wards in pursuit of their possession and control over their own fate, and to live to die on their own terms as the owners of their own body and persons which is within any free persons per view to do so without being treated as 3rd class citizens, and having to be cared for their own welfare like little children.

Excuse typos, using voice to text from my phone too lazy to fix I'll brush it up later

 

[evey8112]

It's always "why are you even depressed? you got everything in life", "have you seen how other people live? be grateful", etc.

I understand you. Mental illnesses are not understood by people who didn't experience any of it themselves. Sadly we have to accept living with those people.

May you find peace. Hugs*

Thank you, I am just tired of this entire human construct. I look at people and ask myself how do these people repeat the same cycle everyday, every year till they die? Am i the only sane one here? People are endlessly consuming and are slaves to their own body and mind. Those of us who have woken up from the (dream) and want to exit are thrown in mental hospitals and called crazy. FUCK THIS SI,ULATION is what i say.

Suicide is an end of life(style) choice. Life is a sociobiological process, like a soccer game. As a once participant of it, and removing myself from the firld as an objective observer of it - I just find it unnecessary, and it is within the purview of any free person to clock out if they choose to voluntarily without being pathologized for failing to participate in what one never signed up for.

Unfortunately suicide remains an target for abuse by psychiatry which has always sought to pathologize behavior that did not conform to the social construct. Like homosexuality which was classified as an organic sexual maladaptive disease only removed from the DSM-II in 1970 & ICD-10 in 1992, alike with drapetomania where slaves and housewives who ran away from there confined domiciles within which they were expected to be in conformity with into wanderlust pathologized as mentally ill. Because there was no objective testing like neuroimaging for the organic etiologies of homosexuality at the time, tremendous pressure to pathologize such incomprehensible behavior by the laypeople was incumbent upon psychiatry to classify, diagnose and pin something (or anything) down for the record as a mechanism for punitive "treatment" of what was by religious or other convention reprehensible or inexplicable human expression of affection. Because of these conventions and the free reign of psychiatry as the philosophy of what physics and sciences today, psychiatrist treated homosexuals with adverse exposure therapy by electroshock stimuli and infusing anemic and other horrific intravenous painful interventions to try to cure or treat homosexuality by high voltage electro shocking gay to vomit when exposed to an image of their own kind nude, often compelled under the direction of a psychiatrist by court order as a conditional plea bargain in lieu of prison in a course of therapy by the courts widely Acclaim that endorsed by the psychiatric community in the belief that homosexuality was a horrific disease and could be cured.

Like radical practitioners of sorcery and wizardry in medieval times who sought explain the inexplicable, psychiatrist are like philosophers who sought to explain the origins of the universe and inexplicable or unusual phenomenon by shooting the arrow first and then drawing the target wherever it landed on the tree, and going from there.

Psychiatrists today are the same very practitioners of this kind to come up with something to explain that which has no rational or socially acceptable basis for conduct and the pathologization of the unknown causing significant harms to victims that only wish to be free from the restraints of psychiatric wards in pursuit of their possession and control over their own fate, and to live to die on their own terms as the owners of their own body and persons which is within any free persons per view to do so without being treated as 3rd class citizens, and having to be cared for their own welfare like little children.

Excuse typos, using voice to text from my phone too lazy to fix I'll brush it up later

I agree. Thank you