I have beef with trees

[february in alaska]

I'm mostly just ranting, but I'll definitely take advice if anyone has any, haha.

So, okay, honestly, I don't feel like my qualifications for a tree are that high.

• Needs to have a branch high enough and strong enough
• Somewhat remote location people won't stumble across for a bit
• Able to climb without a fifteen foot ladder

You'd think, right? I can't tell if I'm losing my mind or if I'm just being insanely dumb about this whole thing. I can find huge big gnarled oak trees all over the place, but all of them are in super public places. I can find trees in remote locations far from the city, but they're all spruce-type trees with lots of tiny weak branches all over that would break immediately. Even if I find a good tree far enough away, there's always the chance that it won't have a good spot to climb up. And it's not like I can carry a big ass ladder with me without raising some questions.

I would really, really prefer to do a drop hang from at least a bit of a distance, rather than pure hanging and suffocating the whole way through. In an ideal world, it would be a nice little spot with a big childhood-nostalgic-type tree and a good view so I could spend my last moments with that comfort, but I know that's kind of a luxury I don't have at this point. WHY ARE GOOD TREES SO HARD TO FIND, RAAAH. Anyway, my search continues.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

is that better than beef with broccoli? if the branches are too high, just need a longer rope and a good arm to throw the rope over it. tall stool should be good enough. you won't need a ladder.

 

[Foreverix]

I don't mean to laugh at your frustration, but your post is funny.

You could also try attaching a lock (or something weighty) to the end of the rope if you need to throw it up over a high branch and loop it.

You'll find a tree-friend.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

I would not recommend to do any significant distance with drop hanging as it will only cause more pain unless it's enough to break your neck. Also I get your frustration about trees, I was in the same situation, we only have pine and spruce trees in the forest and it was incredibly difficult to find a tree I could climb and that seemed to hold up, although it was close to a trail. Thankfully there's a metal pull up bar near a lake where I live which I'll use instead

 

[february in alaska]

is that better than beef with broccoli? if the branches are too high, just need a longer rope and a good arm to throw the rope over it. tall stool should be good enough. you won't need a ladder.

Beef with broccoli definitely wins :') And that is what I plan to do if climbing doesn't end up being an option.... but I don't know if I have/will be able to bring a stool big enough that there would be enough of an actual drop.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Beef with broccoli definitely wins :') And that is what I plan to do if climbing doesn't end up being an option.... but I don't know if I have/will be able to bring a stool big enough that there would be enough of an actual drop.

If you end up doing short drop, it's better to have as little drop as possible, you won't benefit from it. You could get a collapsible camping chair on amazon, fits in a backpack

 

[AshClouds]

You could also try attaching a lock (or something weighty) to the end of the rope if you need to throw it up over a high branch and loop it.

or one of those makeshift gallows.

I know that if you drop from too high of a height, you'll lose your head, too low you'll suffocate to death. The british kept detailed records on hanging (they used to hang people left and right back in the day, quite a pleasant group of people). Drop dead heights are like 8-10 feet depending on the height and weight of the condemned individual. You'll be hard pressed to find that perfect tree with a branch of the right height that is sturdy enough, and climbable at the same time.

 

[february in alaska]

I would not recommend to do any significant distance with drop hanging as it will only cause more pain unless it's enough to break your neck. Also I get your frustration about trees, I was in the same situation, we only have pine and spruce trees in the forest and it was incredibly difficult to find a tree I could climb and that seemed to hold up, although it was close to a trail. Thankfully there's a metal pull up bar near a lake where I live which I'll use instead

Mmmm yeah I appreciate that insight. I'm going to look around for anything metal for sure. I've been doing some research onto the night-night/carotid artery method and I'm hoping I'll be able to get myself unconscious or at least semi-unconscious right before jumping or falling. Either way, I have a feeling I'm in for at least a bit of pain

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Here's the table of drops, if you want to do long drop

 

[february in alaska]

or one of those makeshift gallows.

I know that if you drop from too high of a height, you'll lose your head, too low you'll suffocate to death. The british kept detailed records on hanging (they used to hang people left and right back in the day, quite a pleasant group of people). Drop dead heights are like 8-10 feet depending on the height and weight of the condemned individual. You'll be hard pressed to find that perfect tree with a branch of the right height that is sturdy enough, and climbable at the same time.

This is helpful to think about actually. I keep forgetting that it's not only the height of the tree, it also depends largely on the length of the rope and how far THAT extra distance goes before going tight.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

oh sorry. missed the part about the drop hang. not sure how strong you are but you can climb the rope maybe? then set the loop. if you wrap the rope around your foot, it's actually easy to climb a rope and hold that position. haven't done it in a while so you may want some practice runs. but i think you'd need a pretty long rope from what you're saying. hmmm drop hang. hope you studied your knots and the rope won't break. it's not just your weight but how far you drop. that puts a lot more stress on the rope.

 

[catperson]

Definitely keep looking im sure you'll find your ideal tree soon and also more nature so win win :D

 

[Ernest1964]

I believe that all the trees in the world got together for a meeting and decided that they would not be used to hanging. Bastards!