FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,625
2023 has been the worst year ever for me because everything has kept going wrong throughout the months. The only good news I finally had wss being told that I got accepted for a masters degree programme to study at one of top the 20 universities in the UK. For the first time this year I was actually happy and looking forward to a new start. I got news just weeks before my 26th birthday.
I was supposed to start my course this October but now I can't because of financial issues regarding tuition so my mum has decided it's best I go next year because the family fianaces will be more stable. I actually lashed out agaisnt my mother and grandmother. I told them how much I hate our relatives and expressed my pure anger over my mum and grandmother always giving away money to help these ungrateful free loading piece of shit relatives throughout the years. My family finally know I despise the relatives.
My mother keeps preaching about everything happens for a reason and "Gods plan". I do not want to fucking hear it. Going to that university meant the world to me and preparing to get there was the only thing that made me so happy. All year I have been dealing with the loss of confidence since getting fired, the worst heartbreak because I deeply loved that man so much and wanted a future with him. I didn't care that he is 55 years old with grey hair.. I still love him despite the enormous pain he caused me and all the bullshit that happened this year.
I will now be 27 when I start my course this is absolutely terrible. It's so hard seeing women I grew up with getting married, having careers or serious relationships with thier boyfriends then here is me my life nothing is going right. Its already too late for me to find love. The heartbreak has been too much I feel like I will never find a man who made me feel special the way he did and the fun times we had before he cruelly played with my feelings, i was so stupid. I will be 28 when I finish my masters. I am so far behind everyone else. I genuinely feel like my entire life is over. No partner, no career, nothing to live for.
The next couple of months I have nothing to live for nor look forward too. I can't even have this 1 bit of joy this year. I won't be surprised if I attempt suicide by the end of the year because its the worst year ever.
I was supposed to start my course this October but now I can't because of financial issues regarding tuition so my mum has decided it's best I go next year because the family fianaces will be more stable. I actually lashed out agaisnt my mother and grandmother. I told them how much I hate our relatives and expressed my pure anger over my mum and grandmother always giving away money to help these ungrateful free loading piece of shit relatives throughout the years. My family finally know I despise the relatives.
My mother keeps preaching about everything happens for a reason and "Gods plan". I do not want to fucking hear it. Going to that university meant the world to me and preparing to get there was the only thing that made me so happy. All year I have been dealing with the loss of confidence since getting fired, the worst heartbreak because I deeply loved that man so much and wanted a future with him. I didn't care that he is 55 years old with grey hair.. I still love him despite the enormous pain he caused me and all the bullshit that happened this year.
I will now be 27 when I start my course this is absolutely terrible. It's so hard seeing women I grew up with getting married, having careers or serious relationships with thier boyfriends then here is me my life nothing is going right. Its already too late for me to find love. The heartbreak has been too much I feel like I will never find a man who made me feel special the way he did and the fun times we had before he cruelly played with my feelings, i was so stupid. I will be 28 when I finish my masters. I am so far behind everyone else. I genuinely feel like my entire life is over. No partner, no career, nothing to live for.
The next couple of months I have nothing to live for nor look forward too. I can't even have this 1 bit of joy this year. I won't be surprised if I attempt suicide by the end of the year because its the worst year ever.
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