I have a possible chance to ctb tomorrow but not sure if its too risky

[Rue89]

My mom decided to go to her office tomorrow morning to work for a few hours then go shopping afterwards, so I should have at least 4 hours without her at home. I was thinking I could maybe ctb then. I'd be using SN. She's leaving at 7am, and with the schedule I worked out I'd drink the SN at 7:45. Will this be enough time? A possible problem is that my brother and his girlfriend will be home, although they should still be asleep at that time. My brother's bedroom is in the basement right below my room and sound travels pretty well. Is it possible that I'll make too much noise and they'll hear me?

I want to make it clear that this is not an impulsive decision. I was planning to ctb on Wednesday but circumstances changed and I wasn't able to. I've been planning for a long time. I don't know when I'll have another opportunity to have enough time alone to do it.

I'm not asking if I should ctb. I'm asking are the risks too great? Or do you think I have enough time and won't make too much noise? Are my chances good that I won't be found before I'm gone?

 

[Alec]

I'm sorry I really wouldn't be able to tell if the risk is big or not of being found, but I do want to say that whatever you decide and choose to do, whatever happens I support your decision and your right to make this decision! I want you to know that I'll be thinking about you and I love you and I hope everything works out the way you want it to work out! I wish you the very best of luck!!!:)

 

[InTheAirTonight]

Don't do it, too risky. Hope you can make the right decision when the time comes.

 

[Trulylost]

honestly, I think best rule of thumb here is If you have to ask yourself if it is "too risky" it probably is.
best of luck

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry your life is so bad that you want to do this. I agree with the the others about it being risky. If you do decide to CTB, I wish you peace.

 

[Rue89]

Thank you all for your input. I decided not to ctb today, and instead focus on finding ways to make it less likely that I'll be found too soon. I found a way to very effectively baracade my bedroom door. In my room directly across from my door is a wall. The space between the doorway and wall is just a few inches wider than the door, and I found some things to stuff the space with so the door can't be opened. I do have two windows, but they have locks and curtains so nobody can see in. I doubt my brother would break the windows, but if he calls emergency I suppose they would, so I'd have to hope I'd be gone before they arrived. I also thought I could turn on my tv to try to drown out any noise I might make. If I were to do this I likely wouldn't be able to for at least a month. The lockdown is scheduled to end April 30th although that could be extended, and I have a feeling it will be if the experts' predictions about the virus are correct. I doubt my mom will need to go into the office again until the beginning of May.

Another maybe possibility is there's a walking trail nearby and there's a slightly overgrown path off of it. I've never walked on it. I've never seen anyone come or go from it. There's no "no trespassing" sign and it is in the park. I thought I'd check it out today and see where it leads me. Maybe I'll find a nice secluded spot out there to ctb.

What do you think about these ideas? With this new information do you think ctb in my bedroom is more plausible now?

 

[autumnal]

honestly, I think best rule of thumb here is If you have to ask yourself if it is "too risky" it probably is.
[...]

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This.

 

[Donk]

SN takes anywhere between 40 min to 4 hrs. also doing it with family members at home is too risky in my opinion. your family might call 911. even if you barricade yourself theres no assurance that police will not be able to get into your room.

 

[LMLN]

Thank you all for your input. I decided not to ctb today, and instead focus on finding ways to make it less likely that I'll be found too soon. I found a way to very effectively baracade my bedroom door. In my room directly across from my door is a wall. The space between the doorway and wall is just a few inches wider than the door, and I found some things to stuff the space with so the door can't be opened. I do have two windows, but they have locks and curtains so nobody can see in. I doubt my brother would break the windows, but if he calls emergency I suppose they would, so I'd have to hope I'd be gone before they arrived. I also thought I could turn on my tv to try to drown out any noise I might make. If I were to do this I likely wouldn't be able to for at least a month. The lockdown is scheduled to end April 30th although that could be extended, and I have a feeling it will be if the experts' predictions about the virus are correct. I doubt my mom will need to go into the office again until the beginning of May.

Another maybe possibility is there's a walking trail nearby and there's a slightly overgrown path off of it. I've never walked on it. I've never seen anyone come or go from it. There's no "no trespassing" sign and it is in the park. I thought I'd check it out today and see where it leads me. Maybe I'll find a nice secluded spot out there to ctb.

What do you think about these ideas? With this new information do you think ctb in my bedroom is more plausible now?

I plan to go to a wooded area actually. I guess it depends on how secluded it is.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Personally I think the trail sounds risky for a lot of reasons, not only being rescued, but being victimized.

At home, if I had decent speakers, I would run a white noise app or a white noise video, and put the speakers on the floor close to me. I'd also start doing this regularly if I didn't ctb right away to get others desensitized to it so they'd think it's normal behavior.