I have 2 questions

[Pisceslilith]

Although I'm 18 I don't have a job so I don't have my own money so I would like to know 2 things.
My method is pong pong seeds.
1)my mom is going to ask what's the reason for it so I would like to know the excuse I can make so I can just use her card to buy it.
2) would I get her in trouble with the cops since they're going to trace it back to her card that I bought the seeds with?

 

[Yuqani]

Considering a simple google search yields multiple accounts of alarmist-level articles about ctb using those seeds, your mom will likely be immediately informed of your intentions and possibly rat you out.

If she fails do such basic research, I can't imagine her not being blamed and investigated for being so negligent and "assisting" you.
I don't know how bad your relationship would have to be if you're willing to do this to her, on top of living with the choice you made.

I urge you to look for another way.

 

[Pisceslilith]

Considering a simple google search yields multiple accounts of alarmist-level articles about ctb using those seeds, your mom will likely be immediately informed of your intentions and possibly rat you out.

If she fails do such basic research, I can't imagine her not being blamed and investigated for being so negligent and "assisting" you.
I don't know how bad your relationship would have to be if you're willing to do this to her, on top of living with the choice you made.

I urge you to look for another way.

i don't want her to be blame that's why I asked, I'm not going to do it then

 

[k75]

Those seeds are often used as household decorations, if that helps any.

 

[Ritter]

The loss of her son and knowing she provided the means of his end...I don't really think you could do anything worse to her

 

[Pisceslilith]

The loss of her son and knowing she provided the means of his end...I don't really think you could do anything worse to her

I'm not going to do it.
I'm going to look for a different method, I'm sorry if I hurt you guys, I really need an escape. I can't take it anymore and this has all been ongoing for years.

 

[TowerUpright]

USA here.ive purchased them and had no problems with customs. Also, using cash to buy a Visa gift card helps keep traceability down.

That being said. Find another method. It is extremely painful and can easily be reversed by advanced life support. lookup External Cardiac Pacing for more info.

 

[Yuqani]

I'm not going to do it.
I'm going to look for a different method, I'm sorry if I hurt you guys, I really need an escape. I can't take it anymore and this has all been ongoing for years.

Don't feel bad about it! This is the place for such troubles and you're obviously trying to be sensible.
There's lots of helpful people and info on here. Don't be shy about asking.