Venting I hate when people who are fine talk about mental strain

[WaffleWoman]

God i was just with my behavior intervention person (autism support) and we got on the subject of the new zelda game in her own words "do you know how hard its gonna be for my mental state to balance university work and playing this game" She acts as though playing this game is gonna be such a massive drain to her mental health when i was right next to her thinking about how my cbt will affect her. Its not nearly as bad as im reacting but something about her tone of voice while saying it just set me off

 

[CentreMid]

I can understand why you'd feel that way, there are times when people come to me and complain about things that I find so trivial, and I'd rather scream at them for doing so. However, we can't always predict what happens in another person's life, and it could actually cause her mental strain. I know it's hard sometimes to have empathy for people who are seemingly fine, especially since we here are suicidal, however, we should remember that each individual's capacity for suffering is different, and we should try our best to be empatheic, even when their struggles seem trivial, and even when we don't feel like it (because shutting your person down would probably cause conflict and that's not fun for anyone involved). Sometimes all it takes is just a nod and a "mm-hmm" for them to see that you care (even if you don't) and they'll move on.

 

[WaffleWoman]

I can understand why you'd feel that way, there are times when people come to me and complain about things that I find so trivial, and I'd rather scream at them for doing so. However, we can't always predict what happens in another person's life, and it could actually cause her mental strain. I know it's hard sometimes to have empathy for people who are seemingly fine, especially since we here are suicidal, however, we should remember that each individual's capacity for suffering is different, and we should try our best to be empatheic, even when their struggles seem trivial, and even when we don't feel like it (because shutting your person down would probably cause conflict and that's not fun for anyone involved). Sometimes all it takes is just a nod and a "mm-hmm" for them to see that you care (even if you don't) and they'll move on.

Yea your right i was definitely over reacting in my mind i think mainly because i use games to escape what goes on in my life so ive never seen them as draining

 

[Ambivalent1]

How do you know they're fine? Your perception of another person's mental health is not accurate. Seemingly normal, happy people kill themselves all the time.

 

[WaffleWoman]

How do you know they're fine? Your perception of another person's mental health is not accurate. Seemingly normal, happy people kill themselves all the time.

As i said above i over reacted

 

[Ambivalent1]

As i said above i over reacted

Forgiveness is a religious concept.

 

[WaffleWoman]

Forgiveness is a religious concept.

im not asking for forgiveness i understand my mistake after calming down a bit

 

[Whale_bones]

I don't think you overreacted at all. You weren't mean or rude in person, you just had a reasonable internal thought and reaction to her words. She was talking about a recreational activity that she has the choice to partake in, that is not in the same realm as things like disease which people have no choice to endure and suffer from. It sounds to me like she may have been making a lighthearted comment, and like many people she used a term like "mentally straining" when she didn't actually mean that, she may have just meant "less than perfect circumstances". It's totally reasonable to have an internal reaction to that and come talk to people about it who understand, I think you handled it quite well actually.

 

[WaffleWoman]

I don't think you overreacted at all. You weren't mean or rude in person, you just had a reasonable internal thought and reaction to her words. She was talking about a recreational activity that she has the choice to partake in, that is not in the same realm as things like disease which people have no choice to endure and suffer from. It sounds to me like she may have been making a lighthearted comment, and like many people she used a term like "mentally straining" when she didn't actually mean that, she may have just meant "less than perfect circumstances". It's totally reasonable to have an internal reaction to that and come talk to people about it who understand, I think you handled it quite well actually.

I appreciate it thank you. Not sure why but ive been thinking about that convo since it happened earlier today i wont say im annoyed about it anymore just question the word choice she used.

 

[CentreMid]

I appreciate it thank you. Not sure why but ive been thinking about that convo since it happened earlier today i wont say im annoyed about it anymore just question the word choice she used.

You said this person is an autistic support person, yes? Is she neurotypical? Because I find that a lot of neurotypical people don't think about the language they use and word choice, they're mostly concerned about implications, and us neurodivergent folk have to struggle to read between their lines. Maybe ask her about it if you feel comfortable?

 

[WaffleWoman]

You said this person is an autistic support person, yes? Is she neurotypical? Because I find that a lot of neurotypical people don't think about the language they use and word choice, they're mostly concerned about implications, and us neurodivergent folk have to struggle to read between their lines. Maybe ask her about it if you feel comfortable?

Im not sure if shes neurotypical she thinks she may have autism and i definitely see the signs of it but shes never gone and gotten diagnosed for anything. so as far as know she is neurotypical

 

[lovesickness]

Maybe she has severe anhedonia? I find games mentally straining as well now, because I can't bring myself to enjoy anything anymore. I used to log into games just to log out again within 5 seconds. I'm sad that another thing I actually enjoyed doesn't bring me any joy anymore. Idk maybe mentally straining has a different meaning since English is not my first language. Or perhaps she meant it as sensory overload form all the stimulation?

 

[leloyon]

Every day. Every day I put up with people telling me how bad they have it. They couldn't stomach even ten percent of the shit I've went through. They couldn't live with what I have to.

 

[WaffleWoman]

Maybe she has severe ahendonia? I find games mentally straining as well now, because I can't bring myself to enjoy anything anymore. I used to log into games just to log out again within 5 seconds. I'm sad that another thing I actually enjoyed doesn't bring me any joy anymore. Idk maybe mentally straining has a different meaning since English is not my first language. Or perhaps she meant it as sensory overload form all the stimulation?

Maybe If im honest i didnt even know that ahedonia was a thing this is the first time im learning about it.

 

[Vizzy]

Forgiveness is a religious concept.

The concept of forgiveness existed before any idea of the Christian god. One example is that of Indigenous Australians, who have been separated from Europe by tens of thousands of years, and their practice of 'payback' (obviously the English term for a traditional practice, and one that does not necessarily reflect the intent of the tribal law).
One version of 'payback' for your crime is spearing - which is what it sounds like. Someone sticks a spear in your leg. In the version I just looked at for this response, the man's father inflicted the punishment. But where is forgiveness in this?
"After you've taken your punishment then people don't worry about you".
Your crimes have been dealt with, and you have nothing further to pay. This may not even be considered 'forgiveness', as the slate has been wiped.
The Christian concept of forgiveness is somewhat - self-contradictory. You get 'forgiven' your sins, but you have to continually remember who forgave you, and why, and how. You have to continually apologise for being human.
If you look at it from the outside, Christianity is less about forgiveness and more about reminding you that you are a terrible person and must do and believe 'the right things' to be 'saved'.
Unconditional forgiveness is not a Christian concept in anything but name - it certainly does not exist in any Christian practices that I have seen or heard of.

@WaffleMan don't take this kiddo @Ambivalent1 seriously!

 

[WaffleWoman]

The concept of forgiveness existed before any idea of the Christian god. One example is that of Indigenous Australians, who have been separated from Europe by tens of thousands of years, and their practice of 'payback' (obviously the English term for a traditional practice, and one that does not necessarily reflect the intent of the tribal law).
One version of 'payback' for your crime is spearing - which is what it sounds like. Someone sticks a spear in your leg. In the version I just looked at for this response, the man's father inflicted the punishment. But where is forgiveness in this?
"After you've taken your punishment then people don't worry about you".
Your crimes have been dealt with, and you have nothing further to pay. This may not even be considered 'forgiveness', as the slate has been wiped.
The Christian concept of forgiveness is somewhat - self-contradictory. You get 'forgiven' your sins, but you have to continually remember who forgave you, and why, and how. You have to continually apologise for being human.
If you look at it from the outside, Christianity is less about forgiveness and more about reminding you that you are a terrible person and must do and believe 'the right things' to be 'saved'.
Unconditional forgiveness is not a Christian concept in anything but name - it certainly does not exist in any Christian practices that I have seen or heard of.

@WaffleMan don't take this kiddo @Ambivalent1 seriously!

Well I gotta say thank you that was a interesting read kinda tempted to more research on it now too.

 

[woh6]

Me too. One time in school one of my friends said something along the lines of "Oh my gosh guys this essay is making me so depressed". And me and my other friend just looked at her kinda speechless because it wasn't that big of a deal. 1) we got time to write it during the lesson, 2) It wasn't even long, 500 words max, 3) The teacher was so lazy it was literally known she doesn't even read the essays.
Kinda ticked me off she used 'depression', which is something serious, but I didn't say anything. Maybe she just had the wrong view of depression.

 

[lovesickness]

Maybe If im honest i didnt even know that ahedonia was a thing this is the first time im learning about it.

Anhedonia is just a symptom of several mental disorders. It means that you feel no pleasure from anything. I reread your original post and I kind of doubt it's her reason for saying that, I just projected with my own issues, lol. She probably meant it that she has too much stuff to do, that another thing would be to mentally straining for her, which yeah I get your frustration.

 

[Ambivalent1]

The concept of forgiveness existed before any idea of the Christian god. One example is that of Indigenous Australians, who have been separated from Europe by tens of thousands of years, and their practice of 'payback' (obviously the English term for a traditional practice, and one that does not necessarily reflect the intent of the tribal law).
One version of 'payback' for your crime is spearing - which is what it sounds like. Someone sticks a spear in your leg. In the version I just looked at for this response, the man's father inflicted the punishment. But where is forgiveness in this?
"After you've taken your punishment then people don't worry about you".
Your crimes have been dealt with, and you have nothing further to pay. This may not even be considered 'forgiveness', as the slate has been wiped.
The Christian concept of forgiveness is somewhat - self-contradictory. You get 'forgiven' your sins, but you have to continually remember who forgave you, and why, and how. You have to continually apologise for being human.
If you look at it from the outside, Christianity is less about forgiveness and more about reminding you that you are a terrible person and must do and believe 'the right things' to be 'saved'.
Unconditional forgiveness is not a Christian concept in anything but name - it certainly does not exist in any Christian practices that I have seen or heard of.

@WaffleMan don't take this kiddo @Ambivalent1 seriously!

I never mentioned Christianity.

 

[Vizzy]

I never mentioned Christianity.

It doesn't matter Christianity or any other religion!

 

[Not.Flugel]

Just my two cents to add to this, but I also get upset over the silliest things. I fucked up my thigh in uni, after I lost my pen in lab. My friend later returned it to me because they found it. So yeah, some people just might not be most mentally stable.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Well, to be honest... I don't think ANYONE can live in this society and be "fine". Everyone's fucked up on some level in western culture. So, the people trying to discuss mental health are, sometimes, more messed up than the people they're trying to 'help'. Keep that in mind.

 

[ringo99]

Please don't be angry. Balancing studying for uni and playing her fav games is probably peak stress for her at this point. It's obvious that she's never experienced the kind of pain people like us go through on a daily basis. She's actually quite fortunate that way.

Well, to be honest... I don't think ANYONE can live in this society and be "fine". Everyone's fucked up on some level in western culture. So, the people trying to discuss mental health are, sometimes, more messed up than the people they're trying to 'help'. Keep that in mind.

I'm from Asia and I can guarantee you that people in my country are just as fucked up if not more so. At least in the west the taboos regarding mental health are significantly less. The attitude towards people suffering mental trauma is essentially medieval even for patients with severe illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. In asylums patients are literally chained by their necks and left to rot in their own filth. The "treatment" here consists of beatings, burnings, ice cold baths and whatever else the attendants' sick minds can conjure up. It's an open secret here but no one gives a shit because they think it can never happen to them. Confiding to someone even family that you're depressed is an invitation to the most devastating response of all, "Get over it" like it's a switch that can be turned off at will or worse they just laugh and sneer at you behind your back. The latter will get back to you eventually in some way.

The best part: SUICIDE IS STILL A CRIMINAL OFFENCE IN MY COUNTRY. Yeah. You WILL be sentenced to prison if you attempt to buy materials for suicide or fail at ctb. If you're admitted to a hospital with ctb related injuries doctors are compelled to file a report with the police who will arrest you as soon as you're fit. Paradoxically there exists a national suicide hotline (totally useless since it's staffed with idiots reading from a script) so the govt. is aware that this is a problem but doesn't care enough to change the law.

I agree with you that some of the so-called normal people here who scoff at mental health ironically suffer from issues they're not even aware of like NPD, OCD and breathtaking levels of megalomania with a dash of psychopathy. Their obsession with money, status and in some cases "honour" would be great sitcom material if it didn't usually lead to horrifying results for people around them especially women and servants.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Please don't be angry. Balancing studying for uni and playing her fav games is probably peak stress for her at this point. It's obvious that she's never experienced the kind of pain people like us go through on a daily basis. She's actually quite fortunate that way.

I'm from Asia and I can guarantee you that people in my country are just as fucked up if not more so. At least in the west the taboos regarding mental health are significantly less. The attitude towards people suffering mental trauma is essentially medieval even for patients with severe illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. In asylums patients are literally chained by their necks and left to rot in their own filth. The "treatment" here consists of beatings, burnings, ice cold baths and whatever else the attendants' sick minds can conjure up. It's an open secret here but no one gives a shit because they think it can never happen to them. Confiding to someone even family that you're depressed is an invitation to the most devastating response of all, "Get over it" like it's a switch that can be turned off at will or worse they just laugh and sneer at you behind your back. The latter will get back to you eventually in some way.

The best part: SUICIDE IS STILL A CRIMINAL OFFENCE IN MY COUNTRY. Yeah. You WILL be sentenced to prison if you attempt to buy materials for suicide or fail at ctb. If you're admitted to a hospital with ctb related injuries doctors are compelled to file a report with the police who will arrest you as soon as you're fit. Paradoxically there exists a national suicide hotline (totally useless since it's staffed with idiots reading from a script) so the govt. is aware that this is a problem but doesn't care enough to change the law.

I agree with you that some of the so-called normal people here who scoff at mental health ironically suffer from issues they're not even aware of like NPD, OCD and breathtaking levels of megalomania with a dash of psychopathy. Their obsession with money, status and in some cases "honour" would be great sitcom material if it didn't usually lead to horrifying results for people around them especially women and servants.

That's horrifying. Why is the obsession with money so prevalent among east Asians? I've known several in America and the obsession with trivial, temporary things that turn to dust with time is pathological.

 

[FuneralCry]

I doubt that anyone is ever really "fine" with existing, as there are always problems and suffering, I also believe that humans are never truly satisfied. And just because you see your suffering as being more significant, doesn't mean that people aren't allowed to complain about their existence, it doesn't matter if you hate it or not.