Discussion I hate that it’s so hard to actually do it

[rlllyydepressed]

I have my rope set up in the woods I'm sitting below where I'm gonna do it but it's so hard to actually just do it. I know I want to when I'm not actively in the situation that's the only thing I think about doing I'm sure everyone feels this way but I wish I could just know what happens after

 

[itsgone2]

I've been there. So dumb. Yes you can picture it and want it and everything else but then when it comes time, the brain freezes.
There are some statistics on surviving attempts but I wonder how many times this happens, just too frozen up to even have an attempt

 

[liza]

Me too. My anxiety rises up to a 100000% when I put the rope over my head. I figured hanging is not the ideal type to go for me. So I executed this method and now I'm trying to find other methods. I've been through a lot

 

[sanctionedusage]

someone else recently said they're relying on the impulse to do it whenever the next horrible event/bad day happens, by gathering their supplies and educating themselves to have all the means readily available by then. im pretty sure this is why dates don't work for most people, at least not as well as impulsive ctb. SI is just way, way too strong.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Yuppppppppp. It's very hard to make the choice and act on it. I know I could drink a painless poison. Maybe that logic extends to a gun. Hanging seems too hard. I can't do any pain, even a few seconds.

 

[Unknown21]

Yeah, and there's no going back. Once you do it it's over forever... It's surreal and scary.

 

[Terrible_Life]

I learned yesterday the hard way by being tortured A LOT by my mental illnesses that impulsiveness is actually very powerful especially in the moment you're suffering inhumane horrible mental pain like it was in my case….I was so sad and angry in that moment and I felt so trapped in this nightmare that I the suicide as the little tiny light left and I really wanted to get there to this light so I really seriously had this dumb idea:
while my brother was at home but sleeping I wanted to go to the cellar of our house and do partial hanging there, I wasn't even 100% sure if that thing there would hold me but I really just wanted to take my rope and do it……so this is impulsiveness but I can't ctb on impulsivity I have to prepare it all so I can do full hanging on the woodbeam in the attic and thats only possible when everyone leaves the house unfortunately….. :(

 

[rlllyydepressed]

I learned yesterday the hard way by being tortured A LOT by my mental illnesses that impulsiveness is actually very powerful especially in the moment you're suffering inhumane horrible mental pain like it was in my case….I was so sad and angry in that moment and I felt so trapped in this nightmare that I the suicide as the little tiny light left and I really wanted to get there to this light so I really seriously had this dumb idea:
while my brother was at home but sleeping I wanted to go to the cellar of our house and do partial hanging there, I wasn't even 100% sure if that thing there would hold me but I really just wanted to take my rope and do it……so this is impulsiveness but I can't ctb on impulsivity I have to prepare it all so I can do full hanging on the woodbeam in the attic and thats only possible when everyone leaves the house unfortunately….. :(

I completely get it because in that moment all you want to do is die and you don't care the logistics of anything/who sees