Venting I hate that CTB is so hard to do

[Gloomislost]

I wish it was a quick and easy button that I could just press. I hate having to plan it out and figure out a method that will genuinely work without SI kicking in or surviving and ending up in a fucking ward. I just want to be GONE but instead I have to save up money just to buy supplies and shit that will probably not work if I fuck it up.

 

[leloyon]

It's hard to do in a way that ensures death. Theoretically, most of us could run into traffic or head first into a brick wall, or stop eating and drinking etc.

 

[Gloomislost]

It's hard to do in a way that ensures death. Theoretically, most of us could run into traffic or head first into a brick wall, or stop eating and drinking etc.

True, I've thought about the traffic thing for years but feel like there's a chance of survive and also going to jail or being warded. Also an inconvenience to others but all deaths are if I'm honest.

 

[UKscotty]

CTB is easy, most of us know deep down that with a cable or some rope we could literally be dead 2 minutes from now.

The hard part is the survival instinct, the brain is hard wired to stay alive and breed. Overcoming that is tricky, even alcohol doesn't numb it much.

 

[Gloomislost]

CTB is easy, most of us know deep down that with a cable or some rope we could literally be dead 2 minutes from now.

The hard part is the survival instinct, the brain is hard wired to stay alive and breed. Overcoming that is tricky, even alcohol doesn't numb it much.

Yeah, the survival instinct is was truly gets me. That's why I wish it was just a quick snap then I'm gone. But we also need time so we can avoid anyone stopping us.

 

[mob]

Finding a method, the possible feeling of guilt of leaving family and friends, or your partner behind, making sure SI doesn't kick in or finding a way to still ctb while thrashing and all that, buying supplies, fear of someone finding you or failing and ending up in a ward - I also see it as quite hard. Living is hard and dying is also hard. I relate to the wish of just being able to press a button and be gone. Letting go of the fear and guilt is the hardest for me personally.
I hope you find the peace you deserve.

 

[bloodblacknothing]

i feel that, living and dying are both unreasonably exhausting. i don't know if it'll help you, given i don't know much about your circumstances, but the way i deal with it is to just keep telling myself "you have the means, the method will come soon enough". knowing that i have most of what i need to succeed gives me a bit more motivation to keep pushing on through failed attempts, and it makes the failures sting a little less.

proper execution will take time, unfortunately, but it will be worth it -- after all, you've only really got to get it right once, and then you're gone.

 

[doneforlife]

CTB is easy, most of us know deep down that with a cable or some rope we could literally be dead 2 minutes from now.

The hard part is the survival instinct, the brain is hard wired to stay alive and breed. Overcoming that is tricky, even alcohol doesn't numb it much.

I have never had the urge to breed. The only thing between me and a dignified exit is PAIN. I have very less threshold for pain. Having millions of nerve endings and pain center is not helping..

i feel that, living and dying are both unreasonably exhausting. i don't know if it'll help you, given i don't know much about your circumstances, but the way i deal with it is to just keep telling myself "you have the means, the method will come soon enough". knowing that i have most of what i need to succeed gives me a bit more motivation to keep pushing on through failed attempts, and it makes the failures sting a little less.

proper execution will take time, unfortunately, but it will be worth it -- after all, you've only really got to get it right once, and then you're gone.

"Living and dying are both unreasonably exhausting". Couldn't have worded it better!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

it's unfortunately so incredibly difficult do get access to really peaceful and secure methods in the anti-suicide society we have to live in. The most hardest part is defeating SI in the end. I wish you all the best and hope you find peace.

 

[TheMetalhead]

Finding THE method is also a part of our journey. The worst thing in it is defeating SI. I managed to defeat it once with my most recent attempt but ended up in stitches due to a third party intervening ( I tried to stab myself to death with a military grade knife ). CTB is indeed hard to do, certain substances may be of help, such as liquor or anything of this sort. The worst part is that you have to be willing to do it, if you're not or something is stopping you - you probably won't manage to go forward with it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so incredibly horrible how suicide isn't that straightforward, it really should be, it's just inhumane how people have to suffer so much to achieve something so normal and inevitable as death, the problem lies in how other people wish to deny us the option to leave in peace trying to make us prisoners to an existence we aren't even obligated to endure. This anti-suicide society disgusts me.

 

[Gloomislost]

I find it so incredibly horrible how suicide isn't that straightforward, it really should be, it's just inhumane how people have to suffer so much to achieve something so normal and inevitable as death, the problem lies in how other people wish to deny us the option to leave in peace trying to make us prisoners to an existence we aren't even obligated to endure. This anti-suicide society disgusts me.

It disgust me as well. The only people who do get an easy way out are the ones who "deserve" the death penalty.

Finding THE method is also a part of our journey. The worst thing in it is defeating SI. I managed to defeat it once with my most recent attempt but ended up in stitches due to a third party intervening ( I tried to stab myself to death with a military grade knife ). CTB is indeed hard to do, certain substances may be of help, such as liquor or anything of this sort. The worst part is that you have to be willing to do it, if you're not or something is stopping you - you probably won't manage to go forward with it.

I heard that that method has a low success rate and didn't attempt it because of the pain and SI.

 

[XenoPyo]

One method im thinking of is CO in a motel that allows smoking. Get super inebriated and play some games while waiting for CTB. I think itll help the SI.

 

[Gloomislost]

One method im thinking of is CO in a motel that allows smoking. Get super inebriated and play some games while waiting for CTB. I think itll help the SI.

That's a really good idea and I have thought about it !! Just the idea that I could relax while the process is happening makes it a little less hard for SI to kick in.