I hate seeing happy people

[ThatStateOfMind]

I have no clue what's wrong with me. Maybe finals stress hitting me but I've been depressed all fucking day. Wanted to end myself all day and it's gotten worse since the sun has set. I don't know if this is possibly but I feel like my symptoms get worse at night.

I hate seeing people happy though. I see a happy couple and I fucking despise it, I loathe it. I don't like seeing happy people. I see someone happy and I just envy them like crazy. I saw someone at the store today, and she was so happy and seemed to have a bubbly personality and I just wondered "how?" Of course it may not have been how she truly feels, some people mask it. She also could've just had a good day or is a natural optimist. I just wish I could feel that same happiness.

I haven't been truly happy in over half a year. I guess I was sort of happy when I got into college which was more recent than that but it's debatable. I just hate seeing happy couples especially. I envy them the most, and desire to have what they have. I'm so goddamn lonely, I have no one to talk to, no one to hold and embrace. I'm actually tearing up writing this, I feel like such a loser lol. I don't know where to go from here guys, maybe it goes uphill but I'm afraid it won't.

 

[Baron]

I love seeing happy people. Seeing someone smile or being filled with joy is just so interesting. When I see someone happy, I know they're not like me and it kinda makes me feel relieved. But at the same time I know I'm not like them and that makes me really sad. But since I feel sad all the time anyway, I feel like that's the norm for me.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I love seeing happy people. Seeing someone smile or being filled with joy is just so interesting. When I see someone happy, I know they're not like me and it kinda makes me feel relieved. But at the same time I know I'm not like them and that makes me really sad. But since I feel sad all the time anyway, I feel like that's the norm for me.

See, it's odd. Sometimes I feel like that, but sometimes I feel like I do today. Lately, it's been the latter, but generally I'm the former. Right now has just been an unpleasant time for me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this it's awful. I'm sure our individual reasons for depression are so different but a while ago when I fell into a very deep depressive hole for several weeks I hated being happy, seeing sth that could make me happy and stuff like that that had to do with happieness. I hated it so much and I did everything to avoide those feelings. Atm it's somehow "recovering" on it's own so it's getting better. I hope you can find peace.

 

[Misfit72]

I used to feel that way when I was younger, but now I no longer care because I no longer want what they have.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Yeah... it blows my mind that some of us are just put here to suffer while others appear to have no struggle, or at least have the privilege to be neurotypical.

 

[ChronicPain23]

I when I look at happy people I feel sadness and even more I don't want to live.

 

[kelo]

I love seeing happy people. But I also fantasize saying out loud, with a smile "I want to kill myself" when I encounter a bubbly happy person lol
So I'm slightly annoyed and envious. I just wish I could enjoy life like they seem to.

 

[UKscotty]

Happy people are just slaves to the system who don't even realise they are slaves. They are happy as they are serving the 1%.

 

[saddestbunny]

to be happy in this life is to be ignorant in some way or at least uncaring

Never found a smart happy person that wasn't in some way a slave to the system or ignoring evil happening in the world.

also the types of people that get upset if you "ruin" their mood by talking about anything mildly upsetting or sad, ever

I don't necessarily hate them but I definitely am not on the same wavelength. maybe sometimes envious. I wish I could disregard everything and everyone to the extent that allows some to operate in this hellhole of a world, or lucky enough to think it's a great time and the sad people are just whining.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that loneliness is so painful for many who exist here, existence is just too cruel and it must be tiring having to suffer like that. But anyway best wishes.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm sorry you have to go through this it's awful. I'm sure our individual reasons for depression are so different but a while ago when I fell into a very deep depressive hole for several weeks I hated being happy, seeing sth that could make me happy and stuff like that that had to do with happieness. I hated it so much and I did everything to avoide those feelings. Atm it's somehow "recovering" on it's own so it's getting better. I hope you can find peace.

That's kinda the same way I've been. Slowly recovering and it was kinda like a relapse of sadness last night. I feel somewhat better today but not completely. I, like you, fell into a deep depressive hole 7 months ago. It was a breakup for me. Now I'm recovering but my mind has been dark recently.

 

[Sweet Tart]

to be happy in this life is to be ignorant in some way or at least uncaring

Never found a smart happy person that wasn't in some way a slave to the system or ignoring evil happening in the world.

also the types of people that get upset if you "ruin" their mood by talking about anything mildly upsetting or sad, ever

I don't necessarily hate them but I definitely am not on the same wavelength. maybe sometimes envious. I wish I could disregard everything and everyone to the extent that allows some to operate in this hellhole of a world, or lucky enough to think it's a great time and the sad people are just whining.

Exactly. To be happy in a world full of pain and injustice is complicated and at times, seems ethically questionable.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It's a complicated way to describe how I feel. I mean, I suppose I'm somewhat happy they enjoy life and see it as a gift. Sometimes I dont know exactly how I feel. Hopefully this will resolve itself sooner or later. Love hurts, guys, 0/10 wouldn't recommend

 

[mono]

With my personal experience, I have a love hate relationship with happy people. It feels nice to be around them but I also hate seeing them with what I can't have. It's frustrating to me. But I never want to be the buzz-kill that ruins everyone's mood with my own hatred. I can never understand how people are so optimistic and happy in a world such as this. Living is a pain and I almost wish they could see it too so I could feel less like a loser. I'm jealous of their clueless, basically.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

With my personal experience, I have a love hate relationship with happy people. It feels nice to be around them but I also hate seeing them with what I can't have. It's frustrating to me. But I never want to be the buzz-kill that ruins everyone's mood with my own hatred. I can never understand how people are so optimistic and happy in a world such as this. Living is a pain and I almost wish they could see it too so I could feel less like a loser. I'm jealous of their clueless, basically.

Yeah I keep my feelings inside and bottled up recently so I'm not a buzzkill.

 

[iLikeFrogs]

I despise seeing happy people most of the time honestly. It just feels so unfair that we have to go through so much pain and there are people enjoying their life to the fullest. But there are those rare moments, when if I see a happy person a tiny spark of hope that it can get better appears. Unfortunately the sparkle dies too soon.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I despise seeing happy people most of the time honestly. It just feels so unfair that we have to go through so much pain and there are people enjoying their life to the fullest. But there are those rare moments, when if I see a happy person a tiny spark of hope that it can get better appears. Unfortunately the sparkle dies too soon.

That's exactly how I felt today dude. That spark of hope but I know it won't get better anytime soon.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I love seeing children happy but hate to see teens and adults out with friends like often I see a small group of young people at the supermarket talking about what food to make that night before they go drinking later it must be so fun looking forward to such stuff I only had like 1 year of that kind of life once although it was weed instead of alcohol. Other people get 10+ years of that fun and youthfull life.