ashfall
Member
- Jan 1, 2022
- 47
I really really hate people sometimes. I know mentally I'm unwell, I've tried so hard to get better. I'm on antidepressants and antianxiety meds though they honestly don't do much. I'm in therapy. I've reached out to my parents to explain how I feel and how I've thought about ctb. Less than 20 minutes ago, my dad, who I trusted and confided in about my issues, made a joke about "how I'm threatening to hurt myself over nothing" in front of my siblings who don't know. He doesn't seem to understand that it was wrong and private and completely inappropriate. Now I'm terrified this isn't the first time and he has told other people. I feel so betrayed and alone right now. I know he's anti-choice but I thought he understood how much I'm struggling with depression and anxiety. It took me a very very long time to open up about my intrusive thoughts and I thought I could trust him. I'm still in shock that he would just joke about it and dismiss everything like that. I have never wanted to ctb so much right now but I still don't have any SN. I know I shouldn't ctb when I'm emotional so its probably for the best but god I hate people sometimes. I have issues with excessive paranoia and this is literally my fears confirmed. I'm so tired of everything right now.
Sorry rant over. I'm just feeling very alone right now. Has anyone else here been through something similar?
Sorry rant over. I'm just feeling very alone right now. Has anyone else here been through something similar?