i hate my prerecorded social biology, i hate being brought into existence

[cacowads]

ive come to the point where I'm starting to hate everything i percieve as normal or "social". practically movies, media etc. its difficult to explain considering no one could really understand it except me, but i feel like im never going to be part of everyday society and im destined to be alone. but at the same time, my primitive senses keep trying to push me into becoming social and feel sad and lonely. i hate it. why can't I just vanish from the world and self terminate? i feel like an old computer that just wants to give up, but there's certain bloatware or files that are being kept from deleting myself. Another is how it feels like that scene from the bad Robocop remake where he begs the scientist to just let him die when he was resurrected as a head and lungs.

 

[easypeasy]

I completely relate to everything you said.

Get creative. Find your people. You obviously haven't met the right ones. There are so many ways to exist on this planet. So many choices you can make that work around the things you do and don't like about life.