Venting i hate my parents for making me so fucking ugly

[freakshow]

ik im ungrateful and thinking that is really evil becuase the only person that cares about me is my mother but i still hate her for passing down her ugly genetics, i have class 3 overbite, crooked nose my eyes are ugly and asymetrical, and i have many other facial deformities, im brown skin, my skin is disgusting, i have melasma, stretch marks, keratosis. im also a neet because obvisouly i hate living i hate talking to people, i hate leaving the house, i know im inferior to everyone. on top of that im a disgusting tranny with manboobs everyone despises me eveyrone at uni already knows im a faggot, no one likes me, probably becuase im too disgustingly ugly thats the only reason i can think of. im look too much like a neanderthal and i still pretend to be a woman thats so pathetic. i wish i could be happy like those transgender girls i see on the internet, i wish i could at lesat look like a human at least. and its all my parents fault, they are both pretty fucking ugly. i managed to look even worse than them, I literally look like a neaderthal. Ik its over, my looks doesnt even upset my as much as the fact that im forced to live, my parents keep watching me 24/7 beucase ive already failed hanging once and it left me with some ugly marks on my neck which made me drop out of school when i was 15. i cant buy sn because my parents will check the package when they deliver it. i dont have a proper rope and obsviouly cant buy one either, i think im gonna do it with a bedsheet when the opportunity rises. i wish i didnt had to hang myself like this, im scaed to fail and have long term consequences, its crazy how life can always get worse but it can never get better.
i wish we had some international eugenics policy, at least a tiny little bit of quality control to prevent people like me from ever existing. to prevent people like my parents or me from having children. sorry for making such a cringe post just wanted to vent a little bit, i just wanted to stop crying for a little bit.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Most people have stretch marks, especially women, and only racist people think that brown skin is ugly. Also, everyone's face has some degree of asymmetry. Also, the internet =/= reality. You don't know how life is truly treating those other women. For all you know, they have their shit they are currently dealing with. I have doubts that anyone despises you. Most of those people are likely too busy with their own shit to even take notice of your presence. Most of us are usually so preoccupied with ourselves and trying to keep up good appearances around others that we tend not to realize that most people don't notice or give a shit. People don't notice you as much as you think they do.


Also, if you identify as a woman then you are a woman, not pretending to be one. Being trans doesn't change anything.

P.S. Maybemaybe let's not advocate for eugenics?)

 

[freakshow]

ik i said some rude stuff my family is pretty supportive of my transition and i have some friends at uni who are also very supportive but i just cnat handle the envy and dysphoria anymore, i dont think people despises me specifally, just that people despises transgender people in general, specially ugly non passing ones like me. im brazilian but i have indian genetics so you can kinda imagine how i look like.. hideous really

 

[_Minsk]

My father isn't the most handsome person, sadly I inherited that trait.. its a real burden to not be beautiful in a society where look is everything.. sadly people rarely consider those things into the decision of procreating..

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Is it safe to assume that along with your physical transition, that you're receiving psychological support as well? I hope you are. If not, I really think you need to be.

 

[freakshow]

yeah,

Is it safe to assume that along with your physical transition, that you're receiving psychological support as well? I hope you are. If not, I really think you need to be.

iam, theres a transgender clinic in my city, ive spent 3 months in therapy before they let me start homones, and im still dong therapy weekly because its a requirement, but its just useless, idk how therapy can help someone like me, im just genuinely ugly and self consicous, i cant accept myself unless i magically turn into a pretty girl.
i wish i could wear pretty clothes and people compliment me, i wish i had a boyfriend, i wish i could experience life as a woman
im sad and miserable because that will never happen.
l also always see other pretty trans girls in the clinic and it makes me wanna kill myself, they are so pretty, so much better than me in every way possible, i imagine how amazing my life couldve been if i just had their genetics.

 

[b9km5]

i can relate heavily on not feeling human thanks to my appearance. like a pile of waste living amongst angels; there's no point in trying to be seen as an equal by painting my face or doing my best to be excessively friendly for the rest of my life—if i'll always be considered inferior by my own species for the features/ deformities i never chose to have anyway. it's so consuming it becomes impossible to enjoy anything anymore. considering most aspects of life require you to be physically perceived, how are those shunned and consistently outcasted by their peers for being unattractive meant to find life generally enjoyable? i don't really agree with restricting people from having children for 'quality control' as it really isn't our right to take that from others but i do get why you say that i think people should have easy access to medically assisted suicide / the recourses to do it themselves in a safe and peaceful manner

 

[freakshow]

considering most aspects of life require you to be physically perceived, how are those shunned and consistently outcasted by their peers for being unattractive meant to find life generally enjoyable?

theres no way one can enjoy life without a presentable body, i dont even wanna be super model pretty, i just wish i had at least the minimum requirements yk.

i don't really agree with restricting people from having children for 'quality control' as it really isn't our right to take that from others

the eugenics part was just kind of a rage moment i shouldnt have said that

 

[rocketman99]

ik im ungrateful and thinking that is really evil becuase the only person that cares about me is my mother but i still hate her for passing down her ugly genetics, i have class 3 overbite, crooked nose my eyes are ugly and asymetrical, and i have many other facial deformities, im brown skin, my skin is disgusting, i have melasma, stretch marks, keratosis. im also a neet because obvisouly i hate living i hate talking to people, i hate leaving the house, i know im inferior to everyone. on top of that im a disgusting tranny with manboobs everyone despises me eveyrone at uni already knows im a faggot, no one likes me, probably becuase im too disgustingly ugly thats the only reason i can think of. im look too much like a neanderthal and i still pretend to be a woman thats so pathetic. i wish i could be happy like those transgender girls i see on the internet, i wish i could at lesat look like a human at least. and its all my parents fault, they are both pretty fucking ugly. i managed to look even worse than them, I literally look like a neaderthal. Ik its over, my looks doesnt even upset my as much as the fact that im forced to live, my parents keep watching me 24/7 beucase ive already failed hanging once and it left me with some ugly marks on my neck which made me drop out of school when i was 15. i cant buy sn because my parents will check the package when they deliver it. i dont have a proper rope and obsviouly cant buy one either, i think im gonna do it with a bedsheet when the opportunity rises. i wish i didnt had to hang myself like this, im scaed to fail and have long term consequences, its crazy how life can always get worse but it can never get better.

i wish we had some international eugenics policy, at least a tiny little bit of quality control to prevent people like me from ever existing. to prevent people like my parents or me from having children. sorry for making such a cringe post just wanted to vent a little bit, i just wanted to stop crying for a little bit.

looks really don't matter as much as they seem to on the internet. Your parents didn't do anything wrong bringing you into the world. Sounds like your mum cares about, which just makes this so incredibly sad. There are other ways to have a meaningful life than being beautiful.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

looks really don't matter as much as they seem to on the internet. Your parents didn't do anything wrong bringing you into the world. Sounds like your mum cares about, which just makes this so incredibly sad. There are other ways to have a meaningful life than being beautiful.

I understand it is NOT your intent, but this comment is invalidating and dismissive to the OP's concerns.

 

[Wolf-Alice]

Sending you a virtual hug <3 <3 I hate my stretch marks too

 

[unknowngirl]

real

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate since I'm too ugly as well. In my case, I'm lucky that I don't care about being ugly as I don't care about other people and what they think of me. I don't want to appeal to anybody nor do I want to compete with others. I just never wanted to be here in the first place. That said, bring ugly certainly is brutal and leads to many disadvantages compared to those who are beautiful so I'm sorry that life gave you a bad set of cards. Those who are beautiful can easily dominate most aspects of a human's life. They have life easier compared to us

 

[sugarb]

yeah,


iam, theres a transgender clinic in my city, ive spent 3 months in therapy before they let me start homones, and im still dong therapy weekly because its a requirement, but its just useless, idk how therapy can help someone like me, im just genuinely ugly and self consicous, i cant accept myself unless i magically turn into a pretty girl.
i wish i could wear pretty clothes and people compliment me, i wish i had a boyfriend, i wish i could experience life as a woman
im sad and miserable because that will never happen.
l also always see other pretty trans girls in the clinic and it makes me wanna kill myself, they are so pretty, so much better than me in every way possible, i imagine how amazing my life couldve been if i just had their genetics.

I understand how upsetting this is but hon if you haven't even started hormones yet you really shouldn't compare yourself to trans girls who've potentially been on e for years. This is like never touching a pencil in your life while wanting to become an artist and then collapsing into despair when other people who've taken advanced classes grades above you are better at drawing. Look up some trans-formations online. Exercise + style + makeup + diet + estrogen can completely 180 someone's appearance.

you'll probably grow to love yourself more and see the changes you want once you finish therapy and start on E. Try to put suicide out of your mind and just focus on finishing therapy and getting the changes you want for now. you can do it

 

[freakshow]

I understand how upsetting this is but hon if you haven't even started hormones yet you really shouldn't compare yourself to trans girls who've potentially been on e for years. This is like never touching a pencil in your life while wanting to become an artist and then collapsing into despair when other people who've taken advanced classes grades above you are better at drawing. Look up some trans-formations online. Exercise + style + makeup + diet + estrogen can completely 180 someone's appearance.

you'll probably grow to love yourself more and see the changes you want once you finish therapy and start on E. Try to put suicide out of your mind and just focus on finishing therapy and getting the changes you want for now. you can do it

im 4 and 1/2 months on hrt alredy, i agree with what you said I've seen people who i would never belived they had a chance, become really pretty after years on E. Transioning have been positive thing for me, its not the reason i want to suicide, i was just as bad before hrt, ive been lurking on this website for a few years. But the hormones are definitely affecting my mental health i guess. and I still have no boobs, like i have boobs but they are tiny but i can already touch them at least

 

[nihilism__]

ik im ungrateful and thinking that is really evil becuase the only person that cares about me is my mother but i still hate her for passing down her ugly genetics, i have class 3 overbite, crooked nose my eyes are ugly and asymetrical, and i have many other facial deformities, im brown skin, my skin is disgusting, i have melasma, stretch marks, keratosis. im also a neet because obvisouly i hate living i hate talking to people, i hate leaving the house, i know im inferior to everyone. on top of that im a disgusting tranny with manboobs everyone despises me eveyrone at uni already knows im a faggot, no one likes me, probably becuase im too disgustingly ugly thats the only reason i can think of. im look too much like a neanderthal and i still pretend to be a woman thats so pathetic. i wish i could be happy like those transgender girls i see on the internet, i wish i could at lesat look like a human at least. and its all my parents fault, they are both pretty fucking ugly. i managed to look even worse than them, I literally look like a neaderthal. Ik its over, my looks doesnt even upset my as much as the fact that im forced to live, my parents keep watching me 24/7 beucase ive already failed hanging once and it left me with some ugly marks on my neck which made me drop out of school when i was 15. i cant buy sn because my parents will check the package when they deliver it. i dont have a proper rope and obsviouly cant buy one either, i think im gonna do it with a bedsheet when the opportunity rises. i wish i didnt had to hang myself like this, im scaed to fail and have long term consequences, its crazy how life can always get worse but it can never get better.
i wish we had some international eugenics policy, at least a tiny little bit of quality control to prevent people like me from ever existing. to prevent people like my parents or me from having children. sorry for making such a cringe post just wanted to vent a little bit, i just wanted to stop crying for a little bit.

Its over bro are u from .org by any chance

 

[sugarb]

im 4 and 1/2 months on hrt alredy, i agree with what you said I've seen people who i would never belived they had a chance, become really pretty after years on E. Transioning have been positive thing for me, its not the reason i want to suicide, i was just as bad before hrt, ive been lurking on this website for a few years. But the hormones are definitely affecting my mental health i guess. and I still have no boobs, like i have boobs but they are tiny but i can already touch them at least

Well hey it's good you've started and that you're already making progress! :D you'll probably see significantly more change as time goes on. I knew a chick who went up like three cup sizes in a year or something. Of note- I've heard genetics plays a part in this, so if you look at your mom/grandma/etc you might get a rough idea of where you'll end up physically. hrt is basically puberty 2.0 so it can take time and as you said affect mental health, so just keep that in mind. Also, I'm glad that transitioning has been good for you. I've heard it can be very hard

Its over bro are u from .org by any chance

It's not over till it's joever

 

[Nefera]

I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I say this genuinely trying to help since it seems your physical apparence is the main reason of your distress.

I'm also from Brazil and one thing a lot of people don't know about is that you can get cosmetic surgery for free through SUS, as long as you can prove that whatever you want to change has made you unhappy to the point of being dysfunctional in society, maybe your case worker can offer you more details?

Just for the record, I'm not saying that's what you should do or whatever, I genuinely do not care about anyone's apparence aside from my own and I'm sure there's a lot of people who also don't.

 

[greebo6]

Being ugly is a horrible curse. I have it myself . I'm sorry your going through all that.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Not cringey at all. I really feel bad for you. It's horrible that something we have no control over such as physical appearance has such a huge impact on our lives.

 

[maniac116]

ik im ungrateful and thinking that is really evil becuase the only person that cares about me is my mother but i still hate her for passing down her ugly genetics, i have class 3 overbite, crooked nose my eyes are ugly and asymetrical, and i have many other facial deformities, im brown skin, my skin is disgusting, i have melasma, stretch marks, keratosis. im also a neet because obvisouly i hate living i hate talking to people, i hate leaving the house, i know im inferior to everyone. on top of that im a disgusting tranny with manboobs everyone despises me eveyrone at uni already knows im a faggot, no one likes me, probably becuase im too disgustingly ugly thats the only reason i can think of. im look too much like a neanderthal and i still pretend to be a woman thats so pathetic. i wish i could be happy like those transgender girls i see on the internet, i wish i could at lesat look like a human at least. and its all my parents fault, they are both pretty fucking ugly. i managed to look even worse than them, I literally look like a neaderthal. Ik its over, my looks doesnt even upset my as much as the fact that im forced to live, my parents keep watching me 24/7 beucase ive already failed hanging once and it left me with some ugly marks on my neck which made me drop out of school when i was 15. i cant buy sn because my parents will check the package when they deliver it. i dont have a proper rope and obsviouly cant buy one either, i think im gonna do it with a bedsheet when the opportunity rises. i wish i didnt had to hang myself like this, im scaed to fail and have long term consequences, its crazy how life can always get worse but it can never get better.
i wish we had some international eugenics policy, at least a tiny little bit of quality control to prevent people like me from ever existing. to prevent people like my parents or me from having children. sorry for making such a cringe post just wanted to vent a little bit, i just wanted to stop crying for a little bit.

No disrespect but I'm not sure it's your parents fault.
It's genetics. Personally I think looked are superficial. The true beauty of a person is on the inside.
I'm so sorry you feel so bad & hope you find a way get through it, whatever you choose to do

 

[Arahant]

idk how therapy can help someone like me, im just genuinely ugly and self consicous, i cant accept myself unless i magically turn into a pretty girl.
i wish i could wear pretty clothes and people compliment me, i wish i had a boyfriend, i wish i could experience life as a woman
im sad and miserable because that will never happen.

I knew a girl, who had every opposite of what you hate about yourself.
Lots of friends, white skin, pretty as can be, rich family.

She ceased to breathe.

Nobody really knows why for sure, but I have a pretty good idea.
I often walk past her tombstone at the cemetery, and think about how it really could have been me 6 ft under.
There is always some new, expensive, craftsman quality "gift" or decoration.
Heart shaped stones with hand written poetry on them.
Granite blocks laid into the ground in the pattern of a four leaf clover (I kid you not, some people are deranged enough to lay a symbol of luck on the grave of a suicide victim).
A specially engraved secondary tombstone reads: "More than perfect" with gold plated letters.

I will bet you my immortal, non-existent soul that girl never felt loved, because her parents worked so much they emotionally neglected her.
And what you think of as pretty privilege was likely a nasty burden for her, because people with that often have the very valid concern "are these people only nice to me because I am pretty...?"

I'm not saying you don't have a problem or that therapy is the end all be all.
What I am saying is the grass is not always greener.
When you know this story, is it possible to release the burden of some of your envy?

I think we all suffer so much because we have forgotten what it means to be human beings.

May we all be free of suffering.
May you learn to be comfortable in your body.
May you connect with loving people who love you dearly for who you are.

More:
I am reminded of the late Sean Stephenson.
He was the opposite of pretty, wheelchair bound, never walked a single step in his life because of disability, and yet I can sincerely say he was the most charismatic person I have ever seen.
Just a phenom of a human being, whose whole mission was to rid the world of insecurity.