CremstDearest

CremstDearest

Member
Nov 17, 2024
21
i dont actually hate hate her but i hate when she does this, she asked me to help her tidy up and i did, i was eating shelled peanuts so i went to throw it out and i instinctively put it in the sinks garbage, she got mad and upset and yelled at me for it and i told her to not yell at me which resulted her to push me, smash the glass bowls on the sink and the peanut shells went everywhere, which started an arguement, she keeps going on and on about how she doesnt want me and blames me for running away from chores and being dramatic, says its the way i respond and my tone of voice

i dont understand, i told replied to her normally yet shes so mad and im so fucking confused, im so tired, i just want to rest, she always does this, my university therapist keeps insisting to tell her im suicidal and i begged her multiple times not to, but she keeps saying she has to, i told her she isnt gonna help, i begged her told her itll make things worse but she wont listen.

im so fucking scared.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,020
Way back in the 1960's and early 70's, my "parents" were the same to me yell, scream, oh and my "dad" would beat the hell out of me. I sucked it up and the day after I turned 18, they kicked me out and never heard from them again.

So, after reading your thread, I cried for you and also it brought back so many crappy memories.

You are a strong and very caring spirit, I really got that vibe from your thread and if it was me, I would try one time to reason with her as far as trying to convey to her to not spin out of emotional control so fast as it really hurts emotionally and physically (like headaches or general tension).

You are family to/for me, and I send you huge hugs, love and the knowledge that you are NEVER EVER alone.

Walter
 
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Shadows From Hell

Shadows From Hell

I'm ready for Hell
Oct 21, 2024
34
Is your University therapist saying she will tell her, or is she asking you to tell her? You kind of got me confused on that part...

Either way, a school has an obligation to look out for a student's well being, and unfortunately, this may be one of those situations.

This is the biggest, and main reason, I used to not tell anyone about my suicidal thoughts, even a therapist.

Hope things turn around for you. 🤗 🤗
 
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spectraltease

spectraltease

When everything is lost everything is found
Sep 23, 2022
295
That is so fucking shit. I hate parents who would not care about their children. Its very traumatic when your parent is like this, wtf. I find it very brave that you didn't copy her actions and talk to a therapist. Very good luck, I am here for you.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,664
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. Is there any way you can move out? Does your university provide Halls of Residence? I know finances can be problematic though- especially if you would have to ask your Mum to fund that.
 
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Yogobro298

Yogobro298

Member
Oct 13, 2021
36
It really is horrible when you have to live with the person
 
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CremstDearest

CremstDearest

Member
Nov 17, 2024
21
Way back in the 1960's and early 70's, my "parents" were the same to me yell, scream, oh and my "dad" would beat the hell out of me. I sucked it up and the day after I turned 18, they kicked me out and never heard from them again.

So, after reading your thread, I cried for you and also it brought back so many crappy memories.

You are a strong and very caring spirit, I really got that vibe from your thread and if it was me, I would try one time to reason with her as far as trying to convey to her to not spin out of emotional control so fast as it really hurts emotionally and physically (like headaches or general tension).

You are family to/for me, and I send you huge hugs, love and the knowledge that you are NEVER EVER alone.

Walter
Thank you, she resolved it but still blamed me, thing is she does that but im the only person she really has left so she clings on too much and sometimes it leads to stuff like that, it does get really upsetting though, im sorry to hear about your families mistreatment by the way, i hope youre okay and doing fine now (well, as much as being in this forum goes haha) but yeah :) tysm, your words mean alot
That is so fucking shit. I hate parents who would not care about their children. Its very traumatic when your parent is like this, wtf. I find it very brave that you didn't copy her actions and talk to a therapist. Very good luck, I am here for you.
thank you <3, its not that she doesnt care, believe me she does shes just.. has her problems, shes been abused as a kid herself so i dont blame her for doing certain things, shes like that and i love her, even if it hurts to, shes trying her best but cant help but feel like shit because of her
Is your University therapist saying she will tell her, or is she asking you to tell her? You kind of got me confused on that part...

Either way, a school has an obligation to look out for a student's well being, and unfortunately, this may be one of those situations.

This is the biggest, and main reason, I used to not tell anyone about my suicidal thoughts, even a therapist.

Hope things turn around for you. 🤗 🤗
she said she would tell her, considering my mom is extremely clingy and clings onto me while also acting that way its not going to end well, either screaming or im gonna have to deal with the guilt of her crying or both, i am not excited for that.
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. Is there any way you can move out? Does your university provide Halls of Residence? I know finances can be problematic though- especially if you would have to ask your Mum to fund that.
my mom isnt against me moving out- kind of- shes really clingy so she cries that im leaving her sometimes but outside of that shes conflicted, its kind of hard however, my university does have dorms (i was planning on moving out anyways due to living 2 hours away from uni and honestly its breaking my back with the public transport) however i cannot find a job due to not knowing the countries language very well (i live in turkiye) as im an immigrant, dorms are expensive and id need atleast 500 dollars to get an apartment, i did find a roommate but as i said, job difficulty :,) im thinking of starting online work but i dont have a bank account yet and paypal isnt supported here so unsure how id get the payments (i do art commissons from time to time) so im hoping to figure it out
 
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Shrooms

Shrooms

Member
Nov 17, 2024
43
Thank you, she resolved it but still blamed me, thing is she does that but im the only person she really has left so she clings on too much and sometimes it leads to stuff like that, it does get really upsetting though, im sorry to hear about your families mistreatment by the way, i hope youre okay and doing fine now (well, as much as being in this forum goes haha) but yeah :) tysm, your words mean alot

thank you <3, its not that she doesnt care, believe me she does shes just.. has her problems, shes been abused as a kid herself so i dont blame her for doing certain things, shes like that and i love her, even if it hurts to, shes trying her best but cant help but feel like shit because of her

she said she would tell her, considering my mom is extremely clingy and clings onto me while also acting that way its not going to end well, either screaming or im gonna have to deal with the guilt of her crying or both, i am not excited for that.

my mom isnt against me moving out- kind of- shes really clingy so she cries that im leaving her sometimes but outside of that shes conflicted, its kind of hard however, my university does have dorms (i was planning on moving out anyways due to living 2 hours away from uni and honestly its breaking my back with the public transport) however i cannot find a job due to not knowing the countries language very well (i live in turkiye) as im an immigrant, dorms are expensive and id need atleast 500 dollars to get an apartment, i did find a roommate but as i said, job difficulty :,) im thinking of starting online work but i dont have a bank account yet and paypal isnt supported here so unsure how id get the payments (i do art commissons from time to time) so im hoping to figure it out
My 2 cents, you care so much for your mother and considering how easy I had it with mine makes me look a massive piece of shit compared to you. So please keep pushing through, the community here always seems to push through and shine light even on the darkest areas. So stay strong and I believe in you.
 
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alienfreak

alienfreak

.
Sep 25, 2024
246
Odd how similar your mother sounds to mine. Abused as a kid, clingy/overprotective, doesnt want you to leave (even though she might not want to admit it), yells and has anger issues, right? I don't blame mine for being that way, but i had to distance myself because i needed the independence and peace; i still feel some sense of guilt about it. I think shows that there is an unhealthy dynamic when a child has to reverse the roles and be worrying about taking care of the mother's feelings. This may just be me projecting my own experiences, but be careful that she may subtly sabotage your attempts to gain independence, and remember that its ok to be selfish and take care of yourself first.
 
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CremstDearest

CremstDearest

Member
Nov 17, 2024
21
Odd how similar your mother sounds to mine. Abused as a kid, clingy/overprotective, doesnt want you to leave (even though she might not want to admit it), yells and has anger issues, right? I don't blame mine for being that way, but i had to distance myself because i needed the independence and peace; i still feel some sense of guilt about it. I think shows that there is an unhealthy dynamic when a child has to reverse the roles and be worrying about taking care of the mother's feelings. This may just be me projecting my own experiences, but be careful that she may subtly sabotage your attempts to gain independence, and remember that its ok to be selfish and take care of yourself first.
Jesus, you sure we aren't siblings or something?? 😭
 
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